Sometimes people get pushed past a breaking point and they lash out.
One can only take so much from another person.
And it feels like when it comes to discussing weight, people never know when to stop pushing.
Case in point…
Redditor Sea_Obligation_2802 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA: For what I said to my husband’s cousin’s girlfriend after losing 100 pounds?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband, his cousin, and I used to be really close before he got with his girlfriend.”
“She was 18 at the time.”
“When we first met she would go on and on about how fat she was at 107 pounds.”
“I was 212 pounds at the time but I never said anything.”
“I had previously suffered from anorexia as a young teenager which she wouldn’t have known about.”
“But she would make comments about my body that made me very uncomfortable like…”
“‘You should go to the back of the picture because you are too big to be in front.’ or ‘I would never want to be as big as you.'”
“I just stopped hanging out with them because it made me feel uncomfortable.”
“My husband took my side but his cousin just said that she is acting weird and that’s how she is.”
“I do think it’s because she was young and I won’t hold that against her.”
“But, I did lose 100 pounds and today I am 112 pounds.”
“It took me over a year and getting my P[olycystic] O[vary] S[yndrome] managed.”
“I look like a completely different person and I feel a lot more confident too.”
“My husband and I went to a family reunion.”
“I saw my husband’s cousin and his girlfriend, and she was pretty flippant at me.”
“She asked if I had surgery to lose weight and I told her no that I did it through diet and exercise as well as getting my PCOS in check.”
“She laughed and said ‘normally people do it through sticking a finger down their throat thats how I thought you did it.'”
“I told her that I might not have always been skinny like her but at least I did have a *itch personality.”
“Now my husband’s cousin side of the family is all mad at me for calling her a *itch.”
“I feel like she was acting like a *itch though for insinuating that I lost my weight through bulimia.”
“I am four years older than her so I should probably be the mature one and let it roll off my back.”
“So Reddit AITA for calling my husband’s cousin’s girlfriend a *itch after losing 100lbs?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. What you said is true.”
“She and all people who sided with her are disgusting AHs, since you are on the path of losing weight, losing the weight of those people on your life will do you good.” ~ tatasz
“You shouldn’t feel bad about calling someone out for their poor behavior.”
“She’s been repeatedly mean and body-shaming with you, so she’s far past the point of being owed courtesy or polite suffering/tolerance.”
“It’s also pretty clear that no form of social response would appease her.”
“The fact you lost weight and she was still disrespectful of you proves no matter your body size, she will find a wound to needle.”
“If you were silent and polite, she would still say what she said and the same holds for if you spoke back.”
“There is no response you could give her that wouldn’t end with her being upset with you because ultimately what she wants from you is social submission.”
“If your husband doesn’t care, neither should you.”
“Her fatphobia is not your problem.” ~ addisonavenue
“NTA. Going to gently say that chances are there is a bit of pot calling the kettle black.”
“Perhaps she has her own body dysmorphia she is struggling with, and cannot handle seeing others succeed with weight loss.”
“Either way, you don’t need that negativity in your life.”
“Congratulations on getting healthy. PCOS is no joke.” ~ MasalaChaiSpice
“Agree; observed a similar situation with an acquaintance (K) and one of her girlfriends not long ago.”
“Acquaintance is poly, it was an open relationship, that was all above board to my knowledge.”
“Acquaintance was a dancer until college, and struggled – and put a lot of work into – overcoming her E[ating] D[isorder]’s and dysmorphia.”
“She was dating two women for a time, one of whom (A) was a bit heavier than the other (T).”
“In the course of venting to a mutual friend about how much less attracted she was to (A), and in nearly the same breath, she complained that she’d been putting on some weight, too.”
“She recognized exactly what she’d said, and the implications, which I suspect is not the case with OP’s AH in question.”
“I and the people I’m speaking of are 30+, so AH has time to learn from this, should she choose.”
“OP, NTA.”
“As to PCOS, it’s wonderful you were able to get help and that it’s making all of you feel better as well.”
“Getting a fibroid-caused hysterectomy was a new lease on life for me; so much of our reproductive health is still so easily dismissed.”
“Congrats, and best of luck.” ~ InspectorHuge2304
“NTA. You tolerated her BS comments when you were heavier and stayed silent.”
“You now lost the weight through hard work and getting a medical condition under control.”
“She then tries to find out if you ‘cheated’ to lose the weight and insulted you more.”
“She’s ugly inside and out and seems to like to dish it she needs to learn to take it.”
“Good for you for putting her in her lane I would ask anyone who has a problem with what you said exactly how long were you supposed to allow her shitty bullying go on.” ~ SkrogedScourge
“I have some friends that have eating disorders and to be honest some of them have a really hard time with people like her.”
“Especially since it could trigger a fallback after recovery or worse while in recovery.”
“I have friends that don’t look like they have bulimia or anorexia but they do and I know you cant stop everybody to stop talking about food, weight etc but people like that girlfriend are just send from hell.” ~ Reasonable-Piece-122
“NTA. What she said was awful, whether or not you had the past that you did.”
“She was mean in the past when you were bigger and she was mean to you in the present when you got your weight to where you wanted it.”
“Simply, she is just a mean person.”
“You put her in her place with a direct hit and she completely deserved it.”
“Let her roll it off her back.” ~ stove1336
“She didn’t make those comments because she was/is young.”
“It’s because she’s an insecure little *itch.”
“I’m going on 22 and I’ve struggled with body image all of my life, so yeah, I’m pretty insecure.”
“However I would never in a million years say to anyone the stuff she did to you!”
“Those are awful things to say not only to someone who’s been to an eating disorder, but to anyone really.”
“I think what she said when she saw you lost weight shows she was jealous of you, probably all along, not just now.”
“But now that you’re skinnier she’s feeling more threatened.”
“NTA… A THOUSAND TIMES.”
“Cousin is an a**hole for enabling her behaviour, as well as his family.”
“She’s the biggest a**hole of course, because she’s a mean person and honestly you calling her a bitch was nothing compared to what she did to you.”
“Wishing you the best!” ~ okips
“NTA. You just need to get her family accustomed to the new normal.”
“Once you start biting back and pointing out the hypocrisy of her behavior.”
“But only in the nicest of tones repeatedly hopefully the more reasonable ones will come around.”
“Stockholm Syndrome doesn’t only happen to hostages in bank robberies.” ~ borisslovechild
“NTA. She is an AH for being so insensitive about EDs.”
“Even if you know someone does or doesn’t have one you shouldn’t be joking about it period.”
“In addition you should really not be joking about it when you don’t know someones history.”
“All the people supporting her are just as guilty and it’s inappropriate behavior on her part to always comment on your body regardless of its size.”
“She needed to be called out and honestly you could have said a lot meaner things but didn’t.” ~ Twirlsie_16
“NTA… and congratulations for being able to achieve your weight loss through diet and exercise.”
“You did a lot of hard work to get your weight down the old fashioned way and so be proud.”
“You had every right to defend how you lost your weight.”
“I find it rude to suggest an eating disorder or even surgery as the reason why you lost weight and I guess we know how your cousin’s girlfriend keeps her weight off. lol.” ~ Poison-Dart-Frog89
First of all Congratulations OP!!
Second, Reddit is clearly with you on this.
Some people just don’t know when to quit.
Let’s hope it all just calms down.
Good luck.