Many people have different standards when it come to what is and is not appropriate dress or behavior. For one woman on Reddit, this type of difference in opinion resulted in drama with her very uptight neighbors.
After the neighbor scolded her for walking around in a sports bra in her own house, the Original Poster (OP), who goes by nobrasonmain on Reddit, wasn’t sure about how she’d handled the situation.
So she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
OP asked:
“AITA For walking around my house topless?”
She explained:
“So I (F[emale] 25) like to work out in the morning, I have a little home gym set up in the garage where I like to start my mornings. By the time I’m done I’ve typically worked up quite the sweat and so I’ll throw my shirt into the laundry while on my way to the bathroom to take a shower.”
“However this past weekend I’ve instead just thrown my shirt into the laundry, towel off and then gone to the kitchen to make myself a brunch/lunch before I shower. I’m still in my sports bra and I still have my shorts/pants on while doing this and I personally don’t see anything wrong with it.”
“My neighbour(M[ale] late 50s) did though. The window to my kitchen faces his back yard and so he came by today to tell me that I’ve been incredibly inappropriate lately towards his family. I had no idea what he was talking about as I hardly ever talk to him or his family and then he brought up the fact that for the past two days I’ve been in my bra by the kitchen window.”
“He ended up calling me an exhabitionist and that this wasn’t something that he or his family wants to see. I didn’t like being called that and so I told him I’ll keep what he said in mind but that I’ll whatever I want while I’m in my house and it’s not like I’m walking around naked by the windows.”
Redditors were then asked to just who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And most of them couldn’t see what the problem was and thought if anyone was being inappropriate it was OP’s neighbor.
“NTA. People work out at the gym in just a sports bra. People jog on city streets in just a sports bra. Heck, some people fly on airplanes in nothing but a sports bra. Sports bras are not underwear (and even if it were, it’s your house and you can wear whatever you want).” –Worth-Juice1188
“my cross country team in high school actually received a complaint from someone in the community because we would run in our sports bras sometimes. we actually WERE NOT ALLOWED to be dressed in only our sports bras in front of our male coach (school rule) but sometimes we would go on 6-7 mile runs, in hot weather, and our coach didn’t come with us. so we would take off our shirts! and apparently somebody actually called the school to complain.” –rosefern64
“Sometimes people run wearing them in the country too. I don’t see a problem with it, besides she’s in her own home if he can’t stand it he should probably put up or raise a fence so he won’t feel so tempted to look?”
“NTA” –Remarkable_Top_5402
“Umm, maybe he was doing that to make her upset, so that she would go full nude. Kind of like reverse psychology.”
“Him: You’re being a exhibitionist and my family and I don’t like it.”
“Her: I’m in my own house, and I still have my lady bits covered up.”
“Him: You’re making us all uncomfortable, and we’d really appreciate it if you’d stop being a slut.”
“Her: Thinking- You know what, I’m gonna go full nude to embarrass him, that’ll get him.”
“Him: Seeing her full nude- Yes yes, my plan worked, you evil fu*king genius.”
“Obviously, this is probably not likely, but still a possibility.” –throwaway_4_u
“NTA – if he’s so offended by a sports bra (which BTW, we see depictions of women wearing sports bras in the media, at the gym, on the beach, pretty much all the time and it’s perfectly legal), then he can close his blinds or shut his curtains.”
“He basically came over to say he finds you titillating, but he can’t maturely and respectfully deal with his own feelings. So instead, he’s going to blame you as the owner of breasts. What a misogynistic creep.” –Ok-Succotash7483
“NTA. You’re not topless; you’re wearing a sports bra. In your own house! Tell your creepy neighbor to look somewhere else if it bothers him that much. WTF does he do when he sees a woman out running?” –epithet_grey
“Lmao NTA. it wouldn’t have mattered if you were butt a** naked and twerking on your kitchen counter, you were in your own home and you can wear what you want. He and his precious little family do not have the right to look into your windows and judge what you do in your own home.” –Pretty_Yellow_9601
“NTA, you should have countered with ‘I don’t appreciate you and your family peeping on me in my own home’. I’d have sympathy for him if you were out bouncing around in the backyard in front of his kids or something, but you’re inside your own home and you can do whatever you damn well please. You’ve done nothing wrong and he needs to stop staring through your windows, it’s creepy.” –TheDreadPirateJeff
“NTA – has he been to a gym lately? Or seen people in a yoga studio? Or been to a beach? Or seen women running? It’s becoming more and more normalized for women to feel comfortable exercising in what makes them feel most comfortable. It’s not for his comfort or his eyes. In addition, you are in your own home. He needs to get over himself and quit being a total perv.” –JenniJS79
“NTA”
“You have to wonder when someone goes out of the way to reprimand you for doing something so innocuous as having the ‘audacity’ to be comfortable in your own house: what are you so indignant about sir? See something you like?”
“It’s just sad that he’s a 50 year old man being that immature. I would be surprised if he had to come say something because his wife caught him peeking in on you…”
“Do you. Ignore the misogynistic BS” –PeacefulSnowDay
“NTA. I’ve walked around in my birthday suit in my own home. It’s your house, do what you like. The neighbor is being a creep by noticing exactly where you were in your home (in your bra by the kitchen window). Tell him to stop peeping and get himself some curtains!”
“(Alternatively, you could put a sign in your window saying ‘STOP PEEPING!’ Lol) You keep doing you! I wish I worked out every morning, put the clothes straight in the wash, and had a good breakfast/lunch! 💪🏼” –MurphysLawAllDay
“NTA – you are in your own home. And you are not even naked. Report him as a peeping Tom. Get this on record that you are being harassed in your home and he is peeping. Gross. Why is he looking? Take a turn stand against such harassment.” –bearfoggy
“NTA. You could walk around inside swinging your tiddies in circles and he still wouldn’t have the right to come say to you what he said. He needs to learn to mind his business and keep his eyes out of your windows.” –Scared_Weather1672
“NTA, I have a neighbour who goes around totally naked, as in not a stitchvof clothing on him. Our kitchen windows look directly at each other and are not that far appart.”
“I do the respectful thing and just lower my eyes when I have my window open, otherwise I have these sheer curtains that block most of the view. I would never have the audacity or the nerve to try and control what a person does in their own home.” –Wordly-Ad9756
“NTA.”
“When I was younger I had a neighbour who was very much a free spirit. She used to dance in her living room naked. The windows facing the street had the blinds closed but sometimes she’d forget to close the blinds to the window facing our house.”
“Not a big deal, most of that was was solid but we had some windows near the ceiling. One day my mom was coming down the stairs and her head was level with the window and she could see into my neighbour’s window. She was dancing! NAKED!”
“Rather than go and talk to the neighbour lady, my parents replaced that window with frosted glass. Because my neighbour had every right to enjoy her home however she wanted and my parents understood that.” –angeluscado
Hopefully OP can avoid any further conflicts about this with her nosy neighbors.