Redditor warriorwoman96 is a 23-year-old female I.T. worker who tried to ignore a male colleague who was regaling her with vulgar anecdotes about his personal life.
But he remained oblivious about crossing social boundaries and continued volunteering his unsolicited exploits, even after she told him to “stop.”
Consequently, she “snapped at him” with choice words and followed protocols that other people in her position are encouraged to do.
After the other co-workers in her department disparaged her for taking action, she sought the input from strangers on the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“Aita for calling my coworker creepy and gross and getting him in trouble?”
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“So Im 23 f[emale] and I started this job a few months ago. Im the only woman in our department of about 30 people.”
“This one guy 50s male has been telling me about all the younger women he’s slept with and making insinuations towards me. He kept telling me how he pleasures women.”
“I tried to be nice and ignore it, I tried saying I wasn’t interested and he just kept going. Finally I lost my patience and snapped at him.”
“I told him he was creepy and gross and that I was never going to be interested in some old man 30 years my senior. Management overheard and pulled me aside to find out what happened.”
“I told them about his comments to me and he was written up for sexual harassment. This is his second write up (the first was for injuring someone.) he’s been at this job a lot longer then me and now half the department is angry with me because he is about to be fired and they think its my fault and the other half are on my side.”
“They said I ‘didn’t have to be such a b*tch about it’ and that ‘he’s like that with girls he finds attractive and I should be flattered’ and ‘I shouldn’t have yelled at him because now management is involved.'”
“Work is really uncomfortable now because half of our department doesnt want to work with me.”
“ETA They’re also pissed that all of us have to go to sensitivity training now.”
Just as a clarification Mr Creeps first write up was for injuring someone. He was pushing a large server enclosure too fast and not watching where he was going and ran over someone injuring them.
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors called out the incident for what it was and backed the OP for reporting her co-worker.
“NTA. That was sexual harassment and that can’t be tolerated. Your coworkers are in the wrong for being accepting of that behavior.” – alongstrangesomethin
“NTA, this is like a skit for sexual harassment training. You didn’t start this and the results are not your problem.” – cinnamngrl
“Oh come on, NTA times a hundred! You ‘should be flattered’???? SERIOUSLY?? OMG it makes me mad just reading about this!!”
“Glad you called him out, glad you were rude about it, glad you told management when they asked.”
“You did the right thing and should be proud, ignore the other creeps being creepy about a creep being creepy!” – bobi2393
When the OP mentioned she didn’t want to “make anymore waves” after her department colleagues were upset about taking sensitivity training, Redditors encouraged her to stand her ground.
“Makes those f’king waves, this is your space to. You need deserve a conflict free work environment and didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You might check with some of the guys who are supportive of you and ask them for advice/help about dealing with the dipshits who seem to think you should’ve accepted a ‘compliment.'” – EmpatheticBarnacle
“And they should go to sensitivity training! It sounds like you are surrounded by a bunch of men who are used to treating women poorly, and resent being called out on it.”
“Again, congratulations for standing up for yourself. And do not let these other men bully you, and if they do report their a**es too!” – Oldlady0
“Justifying sexual harassment in this way is ITSELF sexual harassment. You may not want to report them, but DEFINITELY document everything anyone has said to you about this situation in case they do it again or make life difficult for you in revenge.”
“The ones who did this are the ones most likely to (illegally) continue creating a hostile work environment for you. NTA.” – usernaym44
“They have to go to sensitivity training because mr creep sexually harassed another person and no one was sensitive enough to speak up for the person being harassed and condemn it like they should have.”
“Him finding you or any other woman attractive does not give him any right to speak with you like that, especially when you’ve clearly expressed discomfort and asked him to stop multiple times. What a creep.” – writetobeme
“NTA. Congratulations, you stood up for yourself and refused to tolerate sexual harassment. You should be proud of yourself.”
“And shame on your co-workers who actually said you should just tolerate it and feel flattered. What are they, living in 1950?” – Oldlady0
The OP updated her post to show gratitude for all the helpful and supportive comments.
“Thank you for all the support. I am going to keep in mind what everyone is saying and I wont tolerate being bullied.”