While cisgender men might physically engage with women’s bodies, that doesn’t mean they are all experts on how they work.
A man on Reddit made that abundantly clear in his post on the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor PeriodStainAITA asked:
“AITA for getting mad at my girlfriend for making me lie to my friends because she got her period?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My girlfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. She has always been very neat, tidy, and very polished.”
“She cares about her appearance, and I appreciate that.”
“So this situation makes no sense to me.”
“We were at a very fancy event with a few of my friends (social distancing rules, every one wore masks etc.) My girlfriend was wearing a beautiful white dress, which I recently bought for her.”
“The dress was very expensive. We were all having a good time.”
“However, at one point, she excused herself to go the bathroom, and then I didn’t see her again until she sent me a text from the car asking if we could go home.”
“Obviously I’m slightly annoyed because I didn’t want to leave so soon. When I reached the car and asked why she wanted to go home, she told me that she got her period unexpectedly.”
“I asked why she didn’t bring extra tampons or pads (or use those tracking apps). She tried to defend herself by saying that she did everything she could, and that she had a period stain and didn’t want to stay because of the stain.”
“She asked me to lie to my friends, and tell them that she was feeling ‘unwell’ so that she could go home. She had a man’s jacket (a mutual friend of ours) covering her legs (and the nasty stain) and pleaded with me to take her home so she could shower and unwind.”
“I took her home and lied to my friends. When she was getting out of the car, the stain was very noticeable.”
“It was very big and essentially ruined an expensive dress which I bought.”
“She also made me purposefully lie because she wasn’t prepared enough, and made me miss an event with my friends. Needless to say, I was extremely pissed.”
“She said I was not being considerate and went to go lie down because she had a ‘headache’ (she wanted to lie down after she took a shower).”
“She woke up and I haven’t spoken to her properly until she apologizes, and gives back the friend’s jacket.”
“I don’t think I’m an [a**hole] (AH), but when I told my friend (the same friend who gave her a jacket) he told me that I was the AH, and my [girlfriend] (GF) kind of agreed.”
Redditors are provided five acronyms to use in AITA to pass judgment, but they only needed one: YTA.
Of the many who responded, everyone agreed and told the OP, “you’re the a**hole.”
They explained why, too.
“Did you expect her to hang out at the party with a giant and noticeable period stain on a white dress….?”
“You then got mad when she didn’t want to party with a noticeable period stain?”
“Periods can on occasion come up unexpectedly regardless of whether you’re tracking it or not. YTA majorly.” ~ Jandcat27
“Imagine OP’s reaction if the gf came back to the table with the oh so nasty stain for everyone to see.” ~ cestunjetable
“Buddy probably would’ve been complaining that HE wanted to go home.” ~ Jandcat27
“Yup, all his friends would be like ‘why are you being an a**hole, take your girlfriend home, draw her a bath and make her comfy, ya d*ck’.” ~ min856
“YTA plain and simple. It’s worrying that you don’t see how you messed up multiple times.”
“I really hope you learn from this situation and don’t treat and woman like this again.”
“Periods are hard enough already without men like you.” ~ amkss
“The way he talks about her period so annoyed sounds like those guys who think women can ‘hold it in.’ MAYBE he isn’t that dumb, but honestly it’d be hard for him to have f’ked this one up more.” ~ grandpa_grandpa
“What’s with the quotes around headache, too?”
“OP, headaches are common with periods. I get migraines from my period.” ~ beka13
“It sounds like he is angry she didn’t prevent this from happening. What a supreme a**hole. This is a clear YTA.” ~ VROF
OP was let in on a well known secret: women are neither clocks nor calendars.
Without contraceptives, there’s no way to set their periods on a schedule, nor do they stick to an automatic schedule if you track them. Those apps only help women note their menstrual cycle does whatever it damn well pleases, whenever it wants.
“I tracked my period for years until I got the [contraceptive] implant and stopped having them. Still didn’t change the fact that sometimes they were 20 days apart and sometimes they were 35 days apart.”
“I always carried a couple tampons, but still got caught away from the house with a really heavy flow, or not putting any in my backpack when we went on a hike, or not having pockets in a fancy dress, or, or, or…” ~ CactiDye
“If she had stayed she would have bled all over the chair she was sitting in or the jacket. It would be humiliating!” ~ MsTomHardy
“Yes, YTA. She unexpectedly [got her period] which is never fun and on top of that she was wearing white, at a fancy party to boot which is every woman’s worst nightmare.”
“All you seem to care about is you and a dress! No compassion or sympathy for her, and the way you speak about her is borderline derogatory.”
“She was feeling sh*t and very embarrassed and you made it so much worse!”
“And for the record, you can never predict exactly when you will [get your period], even with an app.”
“You most definitely are the [a**hole].” ~ Moonbaby_leila
“I have an app and always track accordingly but the damn thing is always wrong on when my start date will be. I don’t think it’s ever been right once.”
“It’s always 2-3 days before or after so there’s basically a whole week right there wondering when it’s going to happen.” ~ coffeequeen1738
The OP returned to accept their judgment and offer an update.
“I guess I’m the AH.”
“I logged out of this account about an hour after posting because the response was [minimal], and then came back to a TON of responses calling me the AH.”
“After my girlfriend came home from returning the jacket, she apologized for ruining the dress and I apologized for being a dumba** and not understanding the whole ‘period’ thing.”
“She forgave me, then we went out for ice cream and rewatched her favorite movie.”
“That’s the end of the story.”
That’s certainly a much better ending than the original one.