Sometimes, the most meaningful presents are not the ones found in stores, but presents passed down from generation to generation, or between friends.
Of course, not only is this form of gift giving thoughtful and personal, but also economical, as you don’t have to spend any money on it.
With this in mind, however, it’s an all too common occurrence for people to give something belonging to them away a bit too hastily.
Unaware of its monetary or sentimental value.
Redditor After-Operation6230 was touched when her friend gave her a beautiful, and meaningful, present.
The original poster (OP) was even happier after learning that this present also happened to be worth a significant amount of money.
Less happy to discover this was the friend who gave her this present, who swiftly demanded it back.
Something the OP vehemently refused to do.
Wondering if she was in the wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not giving back a necklace to my friend after finding out it’s worth a lot?”
The OP shared how a present given to her by a close friend eventually put a significant strain on their relationship.
“I, 36F, had a child in 2021 who’s now 1 year old.”
“When I was pregnant, my friend, Michelle, my age, had given me a gorgeous necklace as a present for my pregnancy.”
“She said I could do what I wanted with it.”
“It came in a beautiful little box and ribbon and I had planned to keep it in the family.”
“Recently, to celebrate my son (Matt)’s first birthday, my sister flew in from England to help with my baby.”
“My sister is a jeweler as well, conveniently.”
“She does live far and we often communicate only through text or call, and the COVID situation from 2021 made it even harder to see each other.”
“I never really discussed the necklace with my sister until then, as I always thought it was a cheaper present, until I put it on when we were going out for dinner.”
“I’d left Matt with a babysitter and we were at the restaurant when my sister had asked where I got the necklace from.”
“I was happy she noticed but told her it was a gift, and my sister asked me to look at it.”
“I didn’t think much of it until she mentioned it seemed expensive, and after a bit of searching and checking around we found out it was actually worth a ton.”
“I won’t go into specifics, and no, not millions or tens of thousands of dollars, but enough for me to make enough for a bit to help support my family or keep it in the family as an expensive necklace.”
“Michelle also found out, most likely from me messaging family and friends, and messaged me back asking for the necklace back.”
“She apparently had been gifted the necklace as well from a relative but also thought it was cheap, and I replied back that I intended to keep it.”
“Michelle started calling me selfish, saying it was hers first and she never knew the value.”
“Now my husband and sister are saying Michelle shouldn’t have given it away, but I know Michelle could use the money and I think it’s true she never knew the value too, or she wouldn’t have given it to me.”
“AITA for keeping it?”
“No, I was not going around bragging to everybody about this necklace.”
“I told my mom, and word gets around our family fast, so everyone was excited since my parents and their parents hadn’t grown up in the best situations and this was a big deal to all of us.”
“How exactly Michelle found out is beyond my knowledge, but it wasn’t from me pushing it in her face.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was somewhat divided as to where they believed the OP fell in refusing to give back the expensive necklace given to her by a friend.
Some felt that as the necklace was a gift, the OP was under no obligation to return it, even after learning of its sizable value.
“It’s a gift.”
“You are using it.”
“Do not give it back.”
“Once you are given a gift, it’s rightfully YOUR property.”
“She should have thought about this before giving it away.”
“She gave you that necklace.”
“It’s not your fault she was regifting something, and not checking beforehand what it was.”
“The necklace is yours to do as you wish with.”- mrbc6218
“She gave it to you.”
“It’s yours to keep or sell or give to anyone you want.”- Mindless-String2294
“She gifted it you to.”
“In essence she transferred ownership.”
“If you give away or sell an item without knowing it’s value it doesn’t undo the sale if you find out it’s worth more.”
“I wouldn’t call her an AH for asking if you would give it back.”
“I am calling her an AH for regifting something she thought had no value then blaming you for her own actions.”- Natural_Garbage7674
Others, however, felt that the OP should have at least discussed a compromise with her friend, with some even asking the OP how she would have felt if the tables were turned.
“What would you want if you and Michelle traded places?”
“Meaning if you had given her a necklace you thought was just a nice knock-off and found out it was worth a ton?”
“Would you want to get it or at least part of it back?”
“Especially if you could use the money?”
“Or would you just be happy for her and the unexpected windfall at your expense?”
“Act accordingly.”- grckalck
“It was a gift, so you do not need to return it.”
“However, as your friend didn’t really know what she gave away, and if you cherish this friendship, perhaps you can discuss alternative solutions.”
“Because just like you, she might need to support her family.”
“Perhaps you can offer to sell it, and to split the money?”- KarinSpaink
“If a friend gifted me something without realizing what it was, and contacted me later saying, ‘hey… that thing I gave you, I just realized that I shouldn’t have so can you return it?’, I would return it.”
“But, that’s just because I value my friends more than I value objects.”
“That said, I also wouldn’t give away something without knowing the value of it, nor would I ever ask someone to return something I have gifted them.”
“So, kind of ESH but also NAH.”- Oxfordcomma42
“For your friend, asking for a gift back is just tacky.”
“I’d give it back just so she can take it to pawn shop, or even a jeweler/estate buyer, just to get 10% of its worth.”
“If you guys don’t even know how to tell if it is worth anything then you certainly will get killed selling it.”
“You have one person and some Googling telling you it is worth something, a pro or someone on Facebook marketplace are not giving you anywhere near its ‘value’.- stupidbabies53
“She’s tacky as hell for asking for the gift back after finding out its ‘worth’.”
“I also wouldn’t put too much stock into what your sister says about its value.”
“If it looks cheap, you probably wouldn’t be able to sell it for what she says it’s ‘worth’.”-toomany_geese
“She gave it to you so its your necklace, she also said that you could do whatever you want with it.”
“Also asking back a gift that is given out is impolite.”- Stardust_minus
“If a friend gave me a necklace that she later learned was worth a lot of money, I’d offer to sell it and share the proceeds because we’re friends.”- Rhuthbarb
“She’s not entitled to have it back, since she gave it as a gift.”- katsmeow44
“Not just AH, tacky.”
“Y’all value money.”
“It’s quite clear.”
“Gorgeous but it was a cheaper present so not worth discussing, but later friends and family were messaged because it became worth discussing?”
“Regifting stuff because its cheap?”
“Also not so smart tacky if you even wanna make a half decent case to ask for it back.”
“A non AH Michelle would have left it as is.”
“A non AH you would return it.”
“If both were non AH you would be feeling super weird about the whole thing and joke about it, not throwing your friendship under the bus for it.”- Famous_Variation4729
It seems that the OP’s friend gave her that necklace to show her how much she meant to her.
With this in mind, it’s understandable that the OP might be hesitant to return the necklace, as her friend asking for it back suggests that she didn’t mean as much to her as she thought.
That being said, one could also understand why the OP’s friend would think to ask for it back, as she might have had other plans for the necklace had she known how much it cost.
One can at least be certain that the OP’s friend will be much more careful with which of her own possessions she will choose to re-gift going forward.