With working from home becoming increasingly common, it seems more and more MLM (multi-level marketing) businesses are popping up as work-from-home opportunities.
But there’s also an increasing distaste for these businesses, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor SmallNatural8820 held a particular disdain for MLM businesses, as she blamed them for the breakdown of her family’s relationship and home.
So much so the Original Poster (OP) didn’t hold herself back when she thought her future SIL (sister-in-law) was involved in one.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for completely ruining my future SIL’s bachelorette party?”
The OP’s family had been torn apart by an MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) scheme.
“My (28 Female) life, and my parents’ marriage, was ruined because of an MLM.”
“What happened was, my mother joined a supplement MLM, got way into it, drained both my and my brother’s (33 Male) college funds, and went into tens of thousands of dollars of debt to maintain her rank.”
“When my father was injured and had to take some time off work, the house of cards she built came tumbling down.”
“We went from a loving home with two parents, a nice house in the suburbs, and at least 20k in a college fund, to our parents divorcing because she refused to leave the MLM, having to live in a crappy basement in our grandparents’ house, and facing the reality of taking student loans if we want to go to college, as well as having to work as young teens, to help provide for our family of three.”
“So, suffice it to say, I hate MLMs with a passion.”
In the present, the OP was looking forward to her brother getting married.
“Now to the situation, my brother is marrying his fiancee (29 Female) of four years in two weeks.”
“Last Saturday, I was invited to her bachelorette party. She said that she wanted a low-key night at her home, with some food, some alcohol, and some fun games.”
“I got there, and including her, there were 14 other women. Three of them were my cousins, who are 19 and 18.”
“After I arrived (I was the last one there because I live three hours away), one of the women stood up and said that the fun could now begin.”
But the bachelorette party wasn’t what it appeared to be.
“Then, she dragged out a chest of sex toys and started pitching us her MLM. From the get-go, she said that my SIL agreed to host, and at the end of the night, depending on how much we got, she would get some money to help with her honeymoon.”
“I was fuming because she knew how much both my brother and I both hated MLMs, so I just stood to leave. Then I told my cousins to grab their bags and follow me.”
“They tried to stop me (SIL and MLM hun), but I just said that we had to leave.”
“But then, I couldn’t just leave the other women to be preyed on. So I went on a rant about MLMs, how scammy they are, how I bet after plying them with alcohol, they will be pressured into buying stuff they didn’t want, as well as into joining this pyramid scheme.”
The OP’s future SIL blamed her for the ruined party.
“My SIL was teary by then, screaming at me to just leave and that I ruined her bachelorette party.”
“I grabbed my cousins and left.”
“And while I felt a bit bad about ruining her night, I did not feel bad about standing up to a scammer at all.”
The OP’s brother was conflicted about what had happened.
“My brother says that while he completely understands where I come from and that he had a really big fight with her, I should’ve just left with my cousins without ruining the night altogether.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some empathized with the OP and the other unsuspecting bachelorette party guests.
“I think SIL is the AH here for agreeing to organize such a bizarre bachelorette, especially knowing her to be husband and your history with MLMs.”
“You could’ve handled it more graciously, but I understand why you didn’t. NTA.” – urdaverdi
“NTA. Throwing an MLM event for a bachelorette party is at a minimum exploitive, if not predatory. And doing it while inviting you, knowing your family’s history, is breathtakingly clueless. Forget scolding you; your brother should be having a very serious talk with his fiancée right now.” – south3y
“Given your sad experience, NTA. Yes, you could’ve just grabbed your cousins and left, but as you stated, this obviously is a very big issue for you. So yeah, I don’t think your reaction was unreasonable.”
“Honestly, it sounds like your SIL was really counting on this money, hence the tears and her comments about how ‘you ruined the party,’ meaning, ‘You ruined my chance of getting these women drunk and preying on them.’ Yuck.” – onescaryarmadillo
“NTA. She tried to use her bachelorette party as a front for a pyramid scheme. She was planning to get you all drunk and scam you out of your money. That’s an AH move.”
“You are totally justified in being pissed, knowing the impact that MLMs have had on your family. Good on you for standing up for yourself and letting the guests know the truth about stuff like this.” – BlackCanaryForever
“Knowing her fiancé’s history with MLMs and how one destroyed his family, SIL was still willing to allow his sister, his cousins, and her friends to be preyed upon, while presumably under the influence of alcohol, in order to subsidize her honeymoon.”
“SIL seems kinda opportunistic and scummy to me.”
“OP is NTA.” – 5footfilly
“OP is NTA (I’m cheering for her). However, I kinda sorta want to defend the SIL a tiny bit.”
“Those MLM huns are so good at giving the ‘spiel’ and misleading people. I can almost imagine a scene where SIL excitedly talks about her party, and s**t-Hun-friend is like, ‘OMG! I’ve got a great idea. Let’s earn money for your honeymoon. You’d be helping me out too, and I am your dear, dear friend. No, it’s not an MLM, it’s a franchise! This money would totally come back to you. Your friends will love it-it’s so on theme!’”
“This is all conjecture. It could have been SIL’s idea! I just wanted to defend SIL a little, as I’ve seen these MLM women in action and they can be sooooo manipulative.”
“EDITED TO ADD: I’ve received quite a few responses along the lines of ‘SIL should know better’ or ‘She must be stupid.’ I’m begging people to please read all the comments responding to me. There are so many people telling their own stories and showing how easy it was for them or their loved ones to accidentally get roped into hosting MLM events, getting involved, buying or selling MLM products.”
“One of the smartest and most put-to-together people I know fell for the spiel. MLMs prey on weakness, and worse, they prey on hope.”
“We have no idea what SIL’s intention was. However, I do think there’s a possibility that she had no idea what she was signing herself and her guests up for.” – fuzzydogpaws
Others argued that the OP could have kept her feelings to herself and not made a scene.
“YTA. This MLM was just there trying to slang some [sex toys]. It was a Bachelorette party for your SIL. Grow up, lol (laughing out loud). That was not the time or place.” – heathenessoftheswap
“YTA I get it, you hate MLMs. But why couldn’t you just leave without making a scene?”
“Who made you in charge of ‘saving other innocent women from being prey’? Everyone there was an adult. If they wanted to get involved, it was their choice, and since nobody stood up and applauded you or stormed out after you in a show of solidarity, I’m guessing nobody else there felt you were the hero you so clearly view yourself as.”
“Learn to deal with conflict as an adult and learn to let other people make their own decisions.”
“Also, since you think you did the right thing, thinking this wasn’t a Bachelorette party but a way to trick people into attending an MLM sales pitch, I just have to ask…”
“Was there anything else planned for the night? I’ve been to parties like this where that was a part of the night because the MLM person was a friend of the hostess, but after the sales pitch, the party continued as it would have without it, and nobody gave it any more thought.”
“Do we know that was ALL of the party? MLM pitch and everyone was expected to leave? And for that matter, maybe the bride-to-be had told everyone else about it beforehand, and they all agreed it was fine, but she never told OP because she knew OP would have a problem with it, and she knew OP wouldn’t show up and she wanted OP there so she just hoped OP would be an adult and wait for that part to be over and then enjoy the rest of the party?”
“Everyone judging the bride-to-be is doing so without knowing her side, other than what OP told us, which isn’t right.” – Zombies_Of_Loch_Ness
“A soft YTA. I also hate MLMs after getting roped into one by a friend. They are scammy. Also, I think it’s in poor taste for a party if people are blindsided by it.”
“But here’s the thing. You go to a party, you sit, you be polite, and you leave. You don’t make a scene. I understand why you overreacted considering how it destroyed your family but don’t give it more power to destroy by ruining your relationship with your SIL.” – muddymar
“YTA. You should have just left without the big scene. You are correct about MLMs, but I am thinking those people were adults who could make up their own minds. You probably ruined the party for the 14 other adults who were free to participate.”
“I’m sorry about your mom. My childhood was ruined by alcohol, and I’m not screaming at people about the evils of alcohol at parties. I’m in heavy-duty counseling.”
“You were profoundly hurt by an MLM, and you did have the right intentions, but YTA for ruining your SIL party with an outburst like that. Try to get some counseling; it really would help you.” – Miss-Marion
“YTA. All you had to do was say, ‘Have fun, but I am not comfortable,’ and left. It is also cool you took your nieces because I cannot imagine they felt comfortable with sex toys mixed with family. Although, they are also young adults, and I wouldn’t have forced them.”
“Your sister-in-law should have been honest about what they were doing, and had you just left, I would have said she was the tacky a**hole.”
“But not everything needs a grand exit and grown adults don’t need to be lectured at. They are also capable of choosing for themselves if they want to buy or stay or not.”
“Your relationship with your SIL is f**ked.” – Puzzled452
“YTA, but ESH.”
“Everything in the world is not about you, everything in the world doesn’t center around you, and no matter how crappy your experiences are, you are not heroic for publicly humiliating an MLM victim or going on a huge rant that destroyed a party in your sister-in-law’s honor (however weird it was).”
“MLM’s are predatory, but that doesn’t mean that if one is around, you can just throw all social grace out the window, and everyone will accept it. You’re way too old to possibly think that you were in the right.”
“You behave like a 15-year-old who thinks she knows everything, speaks out of turn, harms others, and feels justified because she agrees with herself. Not a socially graceful, mature woman.”
“Your SIL shouldn’t have had an MLM party, BUT it is not her job to plan all of her life events around the things that trigger you. It’s your job to control yourself.”
“I hate most MLMs as much as the next person, but you were CLEARLY out of line. If you have to ask, you need to brush up on your social skills.”
“You should have overlooked it, left if you couldn’t stay silent, and later told your sister-in-law (privately) why it bothered you and why you couldn’t stay, or done anything other than demanding her other guests LEAVE and berating everyone publicly so the entire evening was ruined for everyone.”
“You let your personal opinions trump human decency, and that’s not okay.”
“Having an MLM party and not being open about it was crappy if your SIL (especially with expectations to buy, no notice, etc. that’s so gross), but two wrongs don’t make a right. They make a scene.”
“You ALL sound way younger than your age. Get it together.” – NotRandomlyGenerated
No one really had anything nice to say about MLM franchises or the idea of one popping up at a bachelorette party, but they were much more divided over how the OP responded to the discovery.
Everyone could agree that the OP’s feelings were valid and even encouraged her to leave if she didn’t think she could be a positive party guest, but telling others to leave and turning the party into the setting of a morality lecture seemed a little over-the-top.