Age can easily be a touchy subject. It’s both meaningless and completely game-changing. It’s bad to assume someone is older than they are and also bad to assume someone is younger than they are.
24-year-old Redditor ThrowRa_moonx found herself in a strange situation where she was refused service at a restaurant because the server at her table made a snap judgment about her age and denied her ID.
Unclear if she was in the wrong for responding as she did, she went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for a little perspective.
“AITA for getting mad at a waitress after she told me they couldn’t sell me wine because she thought I was a minor with a fake ID?”
Our original poster, or OP, set the scene for us where she wanted to have a nice glass of wine.
“Yesterday was my friend’s birthday and we went to celebrate at a nice restaurant and everything was going well until we decided to order wine.”
“When we tried to order wine the waitress (30s, female) saw me and said that I should show her my ID, I showed it to her and she called another waitress and after looking at my ID for a few minutes she told me she couldn’t sell us wine because my ID didn’t look real.”
“I tried to explain to her that it was real but she told me not to insist because clearly I wasn’t even 18.”
“At this point I was so mad because it was such an embarrassing moment everyone was looking at us thinking I was another dumb teenager trying to drink alcohol, and who wouldn’t think that?”
While being embarrassed, OP understandably got a bit perturbed.
“If she was saying out loud that I wasn’t the first teenager to try to buy alcohol with a fake ID and that she wasn’t going to call the police anyway, so I told her that she was being really disrespectful.”
“All my friends are over 21 and so am I, and that if I were younger why would women who are between 24 and 27 years old want to be friends with a minor?”
“But she only told me that she wasn’t going to sell us wine and that if I didn’t understand that I could leave.”
“I told her that I wanted to talk to her manager (I swear I’m not a K word lol) and she just ignored me and was like ‘just let it go’ but I was so pissed off.”
The manager did not come, so OP and waitress continued to clash.
“Not because I couldn’t drink a glass of wine but because she was being completely stubborn and was ruining our night, even my friends explained to her that I wasn’t a minor and that my ID was real.”
“She was so rude: all she did was say that if we didn’t like the rules of the place we could leave, so we did but before we left I told her that she was an a**hole and that she didn’t deserve to work in a place where her only job is to be nice and respectful.”
“I also said that her boss is a good friend of my dad (which is half a lie because they are not friends, they only know each other because they were classmates when they were in college) and that I was going to talk to him about what happened and that’s when she tried to apologize but we just left.”
OP felt incredibly disrespected.
“I know that I look young and that whenever I want to buy alcohol I have to show my ID because despite being almost 25 some people think I’m a minor, but no one ever embarrassed me like that.”
“I think I reacted impulsively and I shouldn’t have acted like a spoiled brat, she probably spent a while thinking that her job was at risk because of those things that I told her and that makes me feel bad.”
OP does look young, but thought that an ID would not be an issue.
“One of my friends called another waitress so she could check my ID but then this woman told her to leave because we were her customers and I told the other waitress that I wanted to talk to her manager but she didn’t call him either.”
“Also someone in the comments questioned if I really look like a minor. Yes sadly I do look like a minor.”
“I can still buy some clothes in kids’ stores if I want to so you can imagine how much I look like a minor.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors agree OP, though experiencing a loss of temper, was justified in doing so.
“I don’t know if OP is in the US, although establishments with liquor licenses are supposed to have the most up-to-date photo ID handbook.”
“Those show the unique attributes of all photo ID’s and how to spot a fake. Also, there are scanners that driver’s licenses/state IDs can be run through to prove whether or not those are valid.”
“If I have a question about letting alcohol, cigarettes, or lottery tickets be purchased by who is in front of me, I’m not making a judgment call without using the above methods.”
“Last, my state’s lottery system allows me to scan a driver’s license through that machine. It will show the person’s age followed by how many days.”
“For example 26 years and 86 days. That is the final fact check. Now, if a customer’s identification is badly damaged to the point where I can’t scan it, then I’m relying on the handbook.”
“Otherwise, OP was unfairly profiled. The waitress was more focused on putting a ‘teenager’ in their place that they forgot how to do their job. I don’t blame OP for what she said either.”~leftclicksq2
“The waitress embarrassed her in front of her friends and other guests and then didn’t even take her seriously when she asked to speak to the manager.”
“I totally understand why OP said what she said. Being humiliated like that and not saying anything would have probably made OP feel even worse.”
“She had all right to scare that horrible waitress even if she didn’t go through with it. NTA OP, NTA.”
“And I am sorry you had to go through that. I know it can be humiliating sometimes when people don’t think you are an adult.”
“I am a teacher and when I first started in my late 20s I sometimes was mistaken for being a student. It doesn’t bother me much but I understand that it can be humiliating sometimes.”~lookingforfreedom90
“NTA. She made a personal call instead of actually verifying and didn’t need to cop attitude about it. Sure you reacted, but I would have too given the disrespect.”
“Just because she’s a server doesn’t mean she’s entitled to endless respect if she’s being rude and not doing her job properly.”
“I don’t think OP was being sensitive about being carded or looking young, but more at the fact that woman determined for herself that she didn’t think her ID was real and that OP was 18.”~thatbrunettegirl10
“You are NTA , it’s simple even if you were being completely bratty the moment you asked for a manager one should have gotten involved instantly she has no right to deny you that.”