Forgiving college debt is a hot button topic in the US right now. But is it worth suing over?
Redditor Accomplished_Bar5656 found themselves with college debt even though they were supposed to have a college fund.
The Original Poster (OP) learned that her parents had spent her college fund on her brother’s wedding.
This led her to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) for advice.
The OP asked,
“AITA for suing my parents for my college money.”
She went on to explain what happened.
“My great-aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives. In our culture education for women is not really valued, and she thought that was bullsh*t.”
“She lived with her father in London, where she was educated. She went on to attend university and became a doctor.”
“She married a British man, they moved to America, and had a great life. She funded the education of as many of her nieces and grandnieces as she could.”
“When she passed away, she left money for every girl relative she could.”
“My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and me. They used it to pay for my brother’s wedding.”
“My sister didn’t care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention of going to college.”
“When I graduated, I went to the bank to get money for school, and it was almost all gone. There was like $13,000 left.”
“I asked my parents about it, and they said they needed the money. I finally found out where the money went.”
“I got furious. I got student loans and moved out. I am a great source of shame to them, and I don’t give two f*cks.”
“I am currently suing them for the money that was left for me. My entire family is against me. They all think I am a complete a**hole for airing private family business in public.”
“And that I am putting money ahead of family. My friends are all on my side, but they are all Americans and don’t really get my culture. Neither do I, to be honest.”
“My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I drop the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract.’
‘He said I was being an a**hole for not trusting him. I said he should not have accepted my money for his wedding. It is causing all kinds of embarrassment in our community.’
‘I am somewhat ashamed to be doing this, but I don’t want to have this debt I should not have.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA. Your parents didn’t borrow your money. They stole it.”
“I hope you have all the documents to show that money was yours.”
“Your brother is also the AH for trying to get you to drop a lawsuit with what is most likely a lie.”
“If you have a chance to start life without student debt, you do whatever you can to do that.”
“Your parents and I’m sorry but their culture, sound completely toxic. I’m glad you got out.” – Timely-Ask-1327
“‘They all think I am a complete a**hole for airing private family business in public. And that I am putting money ahead of family.’”
“Noooooo, they think you are an a**hole for holding them accountable for their awful actions. They thought you would be a pushover, but you are showing them you’re not.”
“Your great-aunt would be proud of you.”
“And you aren’t the one putting money ahead of family. They did when they stole your money.”
“They already showed you how little they think of you or respect you or love you as a family member when they screwed you over.”
“NTA, obviously” – Mopper300
“NTA Your parents and your brother had the opportunity to keep this a private matter when you told them you would sue them if they didn’t return the money or pay for your schooling.”
“Since you have already been betrayed by family members you trusted, your brother should not be offended that you want a written contract.” – kavk27
“NTA”
“She set up that fund precisely to stop this kind of sexist preferential treatment.”
“Do it” – SmutDad
“NTA
Also, your alternative to your brother was excellent. I have no idea why your brother got angry /s”
“explicit explanation: because he is from the same family and was absolutely going to screw you over just like your parents did.”
“I approve of absolutely every step you have done, especially dealing with your brother.” – Zestyclose-Sky-1921
“‘for airing private family business in public.’”
“You aren’t posting drama on tiktok. You’re suing them in court. The court will decide if they broke the law or not.”
“Allowing a court to settle an issue when someone has broken the law is not “airing private family business.” It’s protecting yourself from illegal and/or abusive behaviors.”
“You have every right, legally and morally, to do so.”
“Nothing to be ashamed of.”
“NTA” – AnonymousTruths1979
“You know…the fact the money was set up specifically so the FEMALES could get an education and then it was stolen to be used for a MALES wedding is just all kinds of extra messed up.”
“NTA. Get your money OP!” – BeenieGeenie
“NTA at all. You got screwed over by those who should have your back the most.”
“I don’t blame you for taking legal action, just be aware that it might cost just as much as you’d get back if successful.”
“If it were me, I’d cut my losses and go no contact. I get that it’s hard, but what they did is absolutely awful.” – AuContraireRodders
“She could also sue for legal fees and court costs..”
“Absolutely NTA. Show them what BS this patriarchal mindset is and sue them. Insist on a contract with your brother, including late fees/ fines, to prove how serious you are.”
“I grew up in England near a lot of families where female children were definitely looked down on. I’m so sorry hug. Success is the best revenge. Good luck!” – shedevilinasnuggie
“NTA, your parents stole from you. I find it difficult to believe that that’s culturally acceptable.”
“If they had asked you to agree to the money being used, it would be different (although still not great given the power imbalance)”
“And I would have thought that intentionally disrespecting the dead would be a no-no in most cultures.”
“You aren’t ‘ airing family business in public’. You are dealing with theft. Your parents are the ones who chose to lie and steal. They have only the same to blame that their actions have caught up with them.”
“And yes, relying on a formal, binding, legal contract in place to withdraw your legal claim is essential. You are not being an AH .”
“If your brother is honest and trustworthy, then there is no reason for him to object. If he isn’t, there is every reason to get it formally drawn up.” – ProfessorYaffle1
“NTA”
“You go, girl!”
“A**holes (in this case, your misogynistic parents and those who enable them) will always complain about making their behavior public because they know it makes them look bad.”
“They’ll try to pull every lever they can to keep things hidden. Don’t let them.”
“Your parents stole from you. They are choosing not to correct their actions. Of course, you should sue them.”
“As for your brother. You are right to demand a contract. Though I’d make sure a lawyer agrees that it is binding.”
“Your brother may need to put up some collateral and payment plan. Otherwise, tell him that the full sum will make you pull the lawsuit. And why would you trust anyone in your family?” – GreekAmericanDom
“NTA.”
“‘My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I drop the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract. He said I was being an a**hole for not trusting him.’”
“This shows he had no intention of actually paying you. Get out, get your education, and never look back. Your family is angry because they’re embarrassed as hell, and the community is laughing at them.” – chaos8803
“NTA It’s not “just money” it’s your future! Regardless of how they feel about you getting an education, they took what wasn’t theirs.”
“And good on you for telling your brother you need something in writing before agreeing to let him pay you back.”
“Good luck OP!” – ExRiverFish4557
“1. You are NTA big time.”
“2. You didn’t bring this into public – they did when they decided not to pay you what is yours.”
“3. Your brother broke the trust, not you.”
“4. If your brother pays, then fine, then you get what is yours, don’t count on your thieving parents to be able to pay.”
“But be absolutely sure that you don’t leave him a loophole to weasel out. Do not drop the lawsuit before every single penny is on your account.”
“If the court rules in your favor, your brother can always pay on their behalf.”
“5. You are not a shame to your parents. They should be proud that you don’t take sh*t like that – even from them. If anyone is a shame to them, it is them.” – Legal-Equivalent-390
The OP’s great-aunt had quite the foresight.
We hope that this young woman follows in her aunt’s footsteps, as she’s already a wonderful advocate for her self, and perhaps for other women once she gets her education.