Getting suspended from social media and apps can be a problem for many.
Often times people are locked out of their accounts without any detailed reasoning.
This can be very frustrating.
There never seems to be a service number to talk to an actual person so one can appeal.
That’s why people have started to try and get “creative” to get back into accounts.
But some people’s idea of “creative” can be a problem for others.
Redditor truthisitall wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for refusing to let my friend open a Tinder account using my phone number?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My friend was banned from Tinder a few years ago.”
When he told me about this back then, he said he contacted Tinder and wrote a lengthy email asking to be unbanned.”
“They did not lift the ban.”
“Last night I received an access code via text, which I found odd because I haven’t tried to log in to any Google account anywhere recently.”
“Shortly afterward, my friend texted me that he tried making a Google voice number because it wouldn’t let him use his phone.”
“Then says he’s trying to make a Tinder account, but his number was banned some years ago.”
“Then thanks me and says he appreciates it before I even opened his text.”
“I responded by saying I can’t do that because my Google account is tied to my parent’s Google family account.”
“Then I tell him that I remember him mentioning he got banned from Tinder a while ago, but he never gave details.”
“I think it goes without saying that he was somehow violating their terms of service.”
“However, what I said to him was it sounds like you’re trying to circumvent the system… sus.”
“I think it’s worth mentioning he regularly refers to women as b**ches and can come off as rather misogynistic, which personally I find upsetting, disrespectful, and simply uncalled for.”
“Anyway, he tells me it was a ban that was unjustifiable, but on a deeper level, is a bit ashamed at my attitude because some big corporation banned him, he’s supposed to roll over and simply accept that fate from 7 years ago?”
“Over something that was equally unjustified? He says.”
“Then tells me he’s equally ashamed I’d even remotely call him out on that and take their side and not be a supporting friend.”
“He and I live on opposite sides of the country, and last saw each other 5 years ago.”
“We occasionally talk on the phone, but we’re not tight like we used to be.”
“And a lot can change in 5 years.”
“I have NO IDEA what specifically he was banned for, but imagine it must’ve been pretty bad.”
“After politely telling him no, I suggested it might be worth reaching back out to Tinder, acknowledging what he did was wrong and why, explaining how he’s learned from it and will make sure it never happens again, and then maybe ask if it’d be possible to have his ban lifted.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“He used your number without asking you to circumvent a ban from Tinder, and thinks YOU’RE the AH?”
“He’d have your number linked to whatever awful behavior got him banned in the first place.”
“The dude is TROUBLE you don’t need.”
“Block him everywhere you can, and don’t look back. NTA.” ~ MissionHoneydew2209
“OP SHOULD CONTACT THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM AND VANISH FROM HIS CURRENT EXISTENCE!!!” ~ koalawhiskey
“In this case, maybe contact Tinder and let them know what’s going on.”
“Especially if OP never intends to open a Tinder account using that number.” ~ Tulipsarered
“Alphaass is trying to pull off identity fraud- if you say yes now, tomorrow he may try to use your number/email/ id for something bigger.”
“Why do you even need this ‘Friend’ in your life?”
“NTA and block him.” ~ Calm-Management2211
“NTA. You say that you haven’t seen each other in five years and that you aren’t as close as you used to be, right?”
“So now I’m wondering: how many actually close friends has he done this to since his original account was banned?”
“My guess is that he’s burned through a lot of phone numbers before he tried to use yours.” ~ phyrsis
“NTA. You do not want to get involved with this, at all, ever.”
“If you go along, I can pretty much guarantee he’ll have some other fishy thing he wants you to help with.” ~ ParagonOfAdequacy
“NTA. He tried to steal your number without consent, almost like stealing a credit card or some other form of ID.”
“You like those kinds of friends?”
“If he takes your number for Tinder, what other site will he use it for?”
“Can you guarantee he isn’t hurting women on this site?”
“You haven’t seen him in years, he could be mentally insane.”
“Why is he obsessed with Tinder?”
“It just isn’t normal unless he considers it a steady source of women to hurt in some fashion.”
“If he does something wrong, it could follow you around for years.”
“What if a new job wants to check out your social media?”
“What if you ever want to go on a dating website, and they ban you based on your phone number?”
“No one would believe you were saying it was your friend, and even if they did, they would think you were extremely unintelligent in this matter at the very least.”
“Your ‘friend’ sounds like someone who ends up on ‘Dateline’ or ‘Cold Case Files’ or documentaries about serial killers.” ~ Violin_Diva
“Do not budge on this.”
“NTA. This feels so manipulative.”
“You don’t want his garbage coming back on you.” ~ Silent_Ad_8672
“OP… what do you get out of this friendship?”
“Consider all the things a person can do on social media, dating, and like apps without getting banned.”
“Now consider the fact that he crossed the line so much that it wasn’t a week ban or anything like that; they want him out.”
“Also, you get an ick from him in real life.”
“Look, the end state of this situation goes one of two ways; you kick him to the curb, or he gets you pegged with his behavior.” ~ TheGoldDragonHylan
“NTA! If he’s been banned he was likely doing something wrong.”
“If he uses your number, *you’ll* be the one getting in trouble!”
“Just say no!” ~ stroppo
“Why would you want to be responsible for someone who acted carelessly and against a platform’s rules from HIS OWN phone number and got banned?”
“Would he be more careful or even more careless with somebody else’s phone number?”
“Just think of the possibility that he may say something to a woman that Tinder has to share that number with the police for an investigation (such as a threat to a woman).”
“Who would police investigate in that case?”
“You’ll be in big trouble for something you are not responsible for, for a person who didn’t care about it from his own phone number in the first place.”
“He doesn’t want to get a new number because he doesn’t want to be responsible for his actions, simple as that.”
“He doesn’t care about you. He is reckless, entitled, and rude.”
“He is not your friend; to him, you are just a sucker that should go under when (not if) things go wrong.” ~ echo_c1
“NTA. That’s not a friend.”
“The LAST THING you need is the police showing up at your door when he does something stupid had you let him use your number.”
“It’s quite bold to even do that without asking you if it’s cool.” ~ SnoopyisCute
“NTA, he tried to use YOUR number without asking, and saying no is a valid response, especially if he is trying to get past a ban (that there is a (probably) justified reason for).”
“I think your friend knows that, as you live on opposite sides of the country, nothing much would change if a big argument (like this) happens.”
“He probably has not asked his friends (the ones where he lives and sees and talks to every day) for their numbers, or rather tried to use them without permission.”
“I’m probably not meant to say this, but don’t waste your time with him, he isn’t worth it.” ~ StaticOwl9825
“NTA. Even if he’s completely innocent and his ban was totally unjustified, do not let him use your phone number to sign up for Tinder.” ~ OkeyDokey654
“NTA. The only question is why you are still entertaining any contact with this skeeze who’s perfectly happy to use you without thought for any consequences to you.” ~ LurkerByNatureGT
“NTA. That’s not a friend.”
“The LAST THING you need is the police showing up at your door when he does something stupid had you let him use your number.”
“It’s quite bold to even do that without asking you if it’s cool.” ~ SnoopyisCute
“He is ASHAMED of your denial?”
“Boo hoo. I DO hope you can live with this crushing shame… and ruminate on it the full amount that is deserved.”
“About one-tenth of a second. NTA.” ~ LawyerDad1981
“NTA, and gosh, no, don’t share your phone number or give codes sent to your number to anyone.”
“The guy might have tried to use your number to get a Tinder account, but he might have also tried to get into your bank accounts for all you know.”
“Cut him loose, and don’t look back.”
“He can get a new phone number if he wants to.”
“I wish dating services made everyone upload a copy of their driver’s license/ID card and do a face ID too.”
“That would help weed out so many AHs and fraudsters from the platforms.”
“NTA. WTF is he thinking?”
“How is him getting a Tinder account your problem?” ~ kypsikuke
“NTA. It’s quite hard to get permanently banned from Tinder.”
“It takes some seriously unhinged or dangerous behavior.”
“Leave that lunatic a long way behind!” ~ No_Direction_4566
OP came back to chat…
“For those assuming I haven’t called him out on how he talks about women, you are mistaken.”
“I didn’t see it as relevant to my post in this particular sub.”
“When I’ve explained to him about how his talk of women is demeaning, he seemingly understood and supposedly is (was?) getting therapy.”
“However, it’s been long enough that I don’t think he’s making a strong enough effort to change.”
“After reading through the comments, I decided to block and report him.”
It sounds like you have this under control, OP.
This is trouble you didn’t need.
And real friends don’t bring this kind of trouble.
Keep an eye on all of your social media.
You never know where this guy could be lurking.
Good luck.