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Guy Asks If He Was Wrong To Leave 0% Tip After Restaurant Refused To Serve His Wife Who Forgot ID

Photo by Des Récits/Unsplash

One of the most irritating things about going out to eat can be getting carded for a cocktail.

Until the day rolls around when one looks their age and no one cards you.

That’s an awakening for another day.

But while you’re still young enough, you get carded.

And that can be an issue for some.

Case in point…

Redditor goseahawks4ever2020 wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for leaving a $0 tip at a restaurant?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“So my wife (34 F[emale]) forgets her ID and I (33 M[ale]) order a drink at a restaurant we frequent often.”

“Obviously they wouldn’t serve my wife a drink because she couldn’t present an ID.”

“We could be considered regulars with how often we are there.”

“Regularly spend $150-200 a night and tip 20-30%.”

“The people working tonight are not the regular staff.”

“My wife has maybe 3 discreet sips of my drink (not in front of the server) and I want to order another drink.”

“The server refuses to give me another drink because he says we are sharing drinks and watching our table like we are little kids.”

“Mind you the whole time he sets up people in the restaurant to police us and watch our table when he can’t.”

“Barely gives any service.”

“Except when we’re done with our food.”

“I have no problem with them not serving my wife because yes the law says no drinks if you don’t have ID.”

“But you deny me a grown 33 year old man with a wedding ring on, a second drink.”

“Even if the liquor board is there they check to make sure people who are drinking are ID’ed.”

“They’re not going to make a fuss if someone has a sip who is obviously over 21.”

“It’s none of your business what happens at our table.”

“You’re not top flight security. Left a $0 tip.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

YTA. It’s your wife’s fault not the server.”

“Alcohol laws are strict and businesses can lose their license over people like you.”

“Then you leave no tip for someone making 3 dollars an hour because your wife forgot her ID.”  ~ depressed_panda81

“Yep. YTA.”

“Back when I was serving, if the liquor control board found out you served a person who who didn’t have their ID, regardless of how old they looked you, the server, could face a $15,000 fine.”

“PLUS the business would be fined between $25,000 and $200,000.”

“Per incident depending on a few factors, like…”

“Is this the first documented occurrence or the 78th?”

“Was the person served actually underage, Or just didn’t have their ID?”

“Were they given more drinks after being visibly intoxicated? Etc.”

“As a server, you never know who might be working for the LCB.”

“So it’s best to be safe, since slipping up could equal a fine that will mean you can’t pay rent, or put food on the table, or your car might get repossessed.”

“OP seems to think that this was no big deal, but for his server, it absolutely was a massive threat to his livelihood.”

“OP, it was your wife’s fault for not bringing her ID with her if she wanted to drink so badly.”

“Your server was just following the law, and you decided to punish him for it.”  ~ HelloTeal

“TECHNICALLY they are supposed to card every time.”

“Again, it’s not because they don’t think you’re 21 it’s the law to card EVERYONE not who you think is 21+ and if they don’t follow it the restaurant can get fined, lose their liquor license etc.”

“Are some restaurants more lax when it comes to this rule?”

“Yes, but that’s a risk they want to take & if they want to follow it to the T they have that right and you gotta respect that.” ~ mazaltovcocktail

“Yeah I had to take (and pass) the 3 hour ABC board exam to be legally allowed to sell alcohol.”

“And in my state at least, we are legally required to ask for ID if any person appears to be under the age of 30.”

“Even if you know them personally, even if you’ve carded them before, even if they’re regulars.”

“OP and his wife would be carded pretty much everywhere here.”

“The store I worked at had it’s own policy on top of that law, anyone appearing under 40 must be carded.”

“And HELL YES the ABC board will send someone to discreetly observe how businesses operate under this law, OP.”

“That’s literally what they do.”

“That, and trying it themselves.”

“Then the business has their license revoked, has to pay thousands of dollars in fines, as does the individual that served or allowed someone to drink another’s alcohol.”

“My store would’ve kicked you both out as per policy just to cover their a**es.”

“Every business is allowed to make their own rules on TOP of whatever is required by law in that state, so long as it doesn’t go against said law.”

“YTA, OP.”

“If you wanna whine about how much of an aDuLt you and your wife are, act like adults and remember to carry your ID.”

“Which is also a requirement of adults, though I can’t remember if that’s just my state or a federal law.”

“All persons are required to carry proof of their identity, even if (say for young teenagers that can’t have a license yet) that’s a SS card, or non-driver state ID.”

“PS: Employees genuinely do not care how much ‘business’ you bring to their employer.”

“No stranger that wants alcohol is worth my paying several grand in fines and spending time in jail.”

“No one is. Selfish and pathetic behavior.” ~ AsdefronAsh

“Literally. The server & restaurant can get fined thousands each and the restaurant can lose their license for a week.”

“Location based obviously depending on the laws but where I am, this is the case.”

“I went to a bowling place to play pool with some friends.”

“They didn’t want to drink so they didn’t come with me when I went to the counter to get a drink.”

“The guy told me if I shared the drink with them, he’d have to kick me out.”

“I understood and guess what?”

“I was polite, kind and did not share the drink.”

“The guy was literally just doing his job, same as the server in OP’s post.”

“Definitely YTA especially for not leaving a tip.”  ~ throwawayxoxoxoxxoo

“What’s worse is you’re mad because the server is enforcing the law when not only can the business lose their alcohol license but the server depending on the location could face fines themselves of up to $10,000.”

“It doesn’t matter that you’re regular you literally said that it wasn’t the regular staff working that night which means this might be a new person who literally just had the training to refuse you drinks.”

“YTA.”  ~ dark-_-thoughts

“YTA. If you forget your ID, you cannot drink. Your wife forgot her ID.”

“You should have either gone back for it or not ordered drinks.”

“The restaurant could lose its liquor license for serving you without an ID.”

“I wouldn’t go back to that restaurant, by the way.”

“You made a fuss over your mistake and then didn’t tip, and if you go back to that restaurant your food will be 80% spit by volume.” ~rainyreminder

“American here, and yeah… It’s dumb.”

“But so many people here are happy to sue over dumb things (and the prevalence of fake IDs is astronomical).”

“I used to work at a coffee bar that was open late and served booze.”

“Company policy was to card absolutely everyone, ‘even if they look older than God.'”

“Which is what we were told in training.”

“The ‘well, they look over 21’ can be a slippery slope, especially in a big tourist city, with over a dozen colleges and hundreds of people trying to cheat the system every day.”

“I definitely would get some over-60s upset when I carded them.”

“But our managers were all insistent that EVERY person, regardless of age, got carded.”

“And they checked up on us every time.”

“And if they didn’t have ID, they were not to be served, period.”

“It does have an element of babysitting, and ridiculousness…”

“But over here, it’s the only option we really have.”  ~ yalldointoomuch

“Not a restaurant but a relative of mine got fired from a drug store and had to do community service because they didn’t ID the person who bought beer properly and it was an undercover person.”‘

“They go anywhere alcohol is sold pretty much.”

“YTA OP, you are not worth losing a job over.” ~ Edgeisedgytrash

“Yeah. YTA.”

“A place can easily get fined and it’s not just the business that gets fines but also the server.”

“So because you screwed up, you are taking it out on the server who could easily get fired and fined (its like a $500 for the server).”

“There’s tons of laws even when it comes to who can sit at a table with alcohol or not.”

“Like a 21 year old who is married to a 19 year old can not be drinking alcohol unless there is someone over 25 there.”

“And it’s super specific.”

“But nope, big boy couldn’t go home and fix YOUR own screw up.”

“Dropping $200 almost every night on booze and yet you forget your ID.”  ~ Marquisdelafayette89

Well OP sounds like Reddit may not be happy with you.

Rules are rules.

If this is a rule we don’t like maybe we should take it to higher ups in law enforcement.

Businesses and employees are just doing their jobs.