We start learning about how to take basic care of ourselves when we are very young, and when we are teens and going through puberty, we’re taught the importance of maintaining healthy personal hygiene practices.
Otherwise, not maintaining personal hygiene can directly impact everyday life in ways that a person may have never expected, pointed out the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Hepow1118 was alarmed when their husband said that he was an “alpha male” and that alpha males do not clean themselves after using the restroom, so he would not, either.
Knowing that this was headed in a smelly and unhealthy direction, the Original Poster (OP) couldn’t see themselves staying married to him if he refused to change his mind about this.
They asked the sub:
“AITAH if I divorce my husband for not wiping his butt?”
The OP’s husband recently developed a disgusting habit.
“My husband recently started saying that he is not going to wipe his butt anymore after using the restroom.”
“He got into his head that alpha males do not wipe, therefore he no longer is doing it.”
The OP’s husband also refused to listen to feedback about the decision.
“He has been (for the past two days) walking around everywhere we go, telling guys, ‘Alphas don’t wipe.'”
“What’s worse is the last time he went to the bathroom, he didn’t wash his hands because he said he didn’t ‘touch anything,’ and flushed the toilet with his foot.”
“He is very serious about not wiping and he is not listening to reasoning.”
“I don’t know what to do and I fear that this might be the start of the end of our marriage. How do I convince him to wipe?!”
“And AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were disgusted and reassured the OP they were NTA.
“How do you ever feel the same about someone after he declares something so filthy and downright stupid? I’d be forever embarrassed to be associated with him.” – No-Management-6192
“If I were a person in a relationship with someone who declared themselves ‘alpha,’ I’m certain it would cause irreparable ick.” – Glittering-Growth246
“Oh, honey, you won’t be divorcing him over wiping. You need to divorce him for his utter stupidity. NTA.” – kam49ers4evah
“Don’t convince him to wipe; just leave him. Or you might start seeing skid marks around the house! Seriously though, if he is listening to ‘alpha males’ rather than basic elementary school hygiene, that’s a problem.” – Affectionate-Hair524
“An alpha particle is so weak, it has next to no penetration power, much like an alpha male.” – IceFire909
“You married a moron, and for that reason alone, you should divorce.” – tisselmane
“Divorce your husband for calling himself an ‘alpha male.’ That means he swallowed the Tate red pill and there’s almost no chance of coming back from that. You’ve lost a good man to the dark side. Morons and losers don’t wipe. Dump the loser.”
“It’s definitely a real thing, I haven’t heard as much about the ‘I’m not going to wipe’ crowd, but there’s definitely a crowd that doesn’t clean their a** in the shower anymore than letting the water run down it. ‘It’s too gay’ to actually get some soap / bodywash and, ya know, actually clean it like the rest of your body.”
“All of them, including OP’s husband are absolute morons.” – JanetInSpain
“These are all symptoms of a larger issue that should make you take an honest look at your marriage. You would not be the AH for pursuing divorce. I wish you the best.” – TheRealPhilFry
“Do you know what an actual Alpha Male never, ever, ever does? Tells anyone that they are an alpha male. A real alpha male has never said the term ‘alpha male’ in their life.”
“Smart people don’t tell you they are smart. Tough people don’t tell you they are tough. Kind people don’t tell you they are kind.”
“It’s obvious and self-evident.” – maverick57
Others said to wait for the medical issues to start.
“Just keep quiet. The rash will tell him all he needs to know.”
“Make him a nice spicy meal and see how long it takes to change his mind.” – adorablefuzzehkitten
“Give him another week, til his bottom becomes itchy with a bad rash, lol. He’ll start wiping pretty quickly. Feels pretty icky walking around like that, too.”
“Watch how he starts walking differently!!”
“But no sex till he starts again, lol! A UTI infection isn’t worth it!” – Ill-Professor-7487
“He is gonna be a very smelly Alpha with a irritated and infected butt very soon.” – StatisticianPlus7834
“I was just thinking, he is so alpha not touching his own butt but wait till he gets infections and he is going to have numerous men looking and feeling in and around his butthole. So alpha…” – DropDeadPlease88
“No hygiene, no sexy time. He can wash his own s**tty underwear too. If he is that disrespectful and inconsiderate of you, it indicates a much larger issue. He expects you to live with his stench? It would be an indication of the end for me.” – DtotheAtotheWtotheN1
“That’s f**king nasty. I wash my hands even when I used my foot to flush the toilet… and that’s in public restrooms, which after reading your post, I will use even less now.”
“How does he not have his a**hole burning with all that nasty feces around it, smelling? That area is riddled with so much bacteria.”
“Do you sleep in the same bed with him? Do you wash his dirty underwear too? I would stop doing both of those things, and divorce him, too. He needs to understand what he’s going to lose from doing something like this, and you deserve better.” – lisabelert
Some pointed out other things alpha males didn’t get to do, like enjoy someone doing their laundry for them.
“DEFINITELY don’t do his laundry! She shouldn’t have to look at his s**t-stained tighty whities. When he runs out of underwear, maybe he’ll straighten up. These guys are ridiculous.”
“If he doesn’t come out of this soon, I’d divorce. Absolutely!” – Magick_Merlin47
“Put puppy pads on his side of the bed. Can’t have him ruining the good sheets.”
“Or better yet, make him sleep outside, since he’s an ‘alpha’ and all.” – caffeinatedchaosbean
“He’s walking around and telling people he no longer wipes his a** to someone. I assume it’s a friend? I would hope it’s not coworkers. And he wouldn’t need to tell them, they’d figure it out soon enough.”
“Imagine that HR conversation. ‘Dude, we’re going to need you to start wiping your a** or find another job.'”
“Insecure beta is going to lose his marriage, job, and possibly home REAL quick.” – LadyBug_0570
“He’ll absolutely need her help when this happens. However, OP, you should say Alphas do their own laundry. He can deal with his own skidmarks.” – RandomCoffeeThoughts
“If you really want to stick with your man baby that doesn’t want to wipe his own butt, invest in a bidet. It will spray his butt clean and he won’t have to touch anything.” – No_Appearance_7373
“First of all, he does his own laundry from this point on.”
“Also, if he’s not wiping and taking care of his hygienic needs, he’s probably not washing his hands either. And if you plan on being intimate with him, I wouldn’t be surprised if you got a UTI.”
“Take care of yourself.” – wigglepie
“What the f**k?! Nah… Stop doing this boy’s underwear. He needs to grow up and do his own. Also, if you make food for him, stop that too, he obviously can’t adult properly.”
“F**king h**l, who raises these man-children?!” – rebar_mo
“I’m sorry, but anyone who has to clean somebody else’s dirty underwear like that unless your partner is disabled, is divorceable grounds to begin with. That man is s**tting in his underwear and doesn’t give a f**k that you have to clean that.”
“Let me tell you how this works with a normal person, The person creating a skid mark in their underwear or any other clothing is rushing to the washing machine to do a load of one article of clothing before the other spouse can see it because it’s mortifying.”
“I’m sad that this is normal for you. It sounds like you married an a**hole. Pun intended kind of.” – LaughAppropriate8288
“Oh, honey. No. Do not stay with this man.”
“If you want to document some proof for yourself, you can keep a little notebook for a few weeks while you get your ‘about to leave’ stuff together discreetly and write down all the ‘not normal’ changes you’re seeing in things he does and says, and mark the time and date to see how frequent it is getting.”
“From what you’ve described, he’s on some type of path into the manosphere where manly-men act a stupid, illogical way, like not wiping their freaking butts for nonsense reasons, and stop thinking of women as human beings with their own brains and rights. Then bring that back here to get a reality check on just how not OK it is.” – Adorable_Strength319
Not only was the subReddit deeply disgusted by how the OP was being treated in her own home, but they couldn’t imagine living with someone who willingly disregarded their personal hygiene and wanted life to go on as usual.