When we’re out having a good time, it’s normal for something to be offered, like a party game or a new drink, to keep the party and the fun going.
But even while we’re having fun, we are responsible for our own safety and what will keep us comfortable on the party scene, pointed out the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor throwawayhempcig was taking a quiet moment at a family party when his cousin’s wife asked him for one of his cigarettes.
When he pointed out what kind of cigarettes he had, she still wanted one.
Later, when she embarrassed herself in front of everyone at the party, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked when his cousin’s wife blamed him for “drugging her” instead of admitting that she might have had too much to drink.
They asked the sub:
“AITAH for ‘drugging’ my cousin’s wife at a family BBQ?”
The OP just attended a pretty wild family BBQ.
“My aunt hosted a family BBQ yesterday.”
“She has one of those frozen margarita machines that comes out for every party, and we were all having fun drinking margs, eating food, and catching up.”
“I excused myself to have a smoke, and my cousin’s wife, Jessica, said she would join me.”
“She asked to bum a smoke, and I said sure, but I let her know they weren’t tobacco, they were hemp, and asked her if she was fine with that.”
“She said she only smokes when she’s drunk anyway and that it was fine.”
“At this point, I had switched to water because I was feeling pretty tipsy and still had to drive home later. Jessica, on the other hand, was going HARD on the frozen margaritas. I’m not one to count drinks, but her glass was never empty.”
When Jessica had an accident later, she blamed the OP’s cigarettes instead of her drinking.
“This is where things got messy. Jessica, clearly drunk at this point, ended up falling in the pool.”
“We’re talking full dress, makeup, phone, everything.”
“I ran over to help pull her out, but once she was out, she started freaking out on me. She started yelling that I had drugged her, and that that was why she fell in the pool.”
“It turned into a huge scene. Everyone ran over. Jessica was bawling and screaming that I had given her a weed cigarette and she didn’t realize until it ‘hit her,’ and that she had been stoned ever since.”
The OP tried to explain himself, but Jessica was not having it.
“My whole family was staring at me while I tried to explain that it was definitely not weed. It was a hemp cigarette that I literally bought on Amazon. I’m in the process of quitting nicotine, and these are helping take the edge off.”
“I pulled out the pack and showed everyone where it says, ‘Zero percent THC.'”
“I told Jessica I was sorry that she fell in the pool, but that it was most likely because she’d been drinking all day, not because of a hemp cigarette I gave her hours ago, that she fell in.”
“In a very classy moment, Jessica threw a margarita in my face.”
“My uncle told her and my cousin that they needed to leave, and she said she was going to call the cops and press charges against me.”
“My cousin apologized and said Jessica is just going through a tough time, and that he’d make sure she calmed down.”
The OP later felt conflicted about what happened at the party.
“I thought that was that, but when I told my friend what happened, she said, ‘I don’t think she should have thrown her drink at you, but you gave someone a hemp cigarette when they were already drunk, which is kind of sketchy.'”
“Now I’m wondering. I did tell her it was hemp and pointed out that it doesn’t have any THC in it, but maybe I should have just said no to giving her one? Was I the a**hole here?”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that he had given Jessica the information, and she acted on it.
“NTA.”
“Drunk or not, you told her it was hemp, and she made a decision. She then blamed ‘weed’ for her tipsiness (not how weed works instead) to save face, considering she was drunk (which does cause you to lose balance). You then even showed her it had zero THC, thus she couldn’t be high.”
“To top this all off of her big show, she had a fake meltdown and threw a drink at you. Your uncle and her BF removed her and apologized to you as they knew she was in the wrong.”
“She owes you an apology.” – Big_Reddit
“She is an adult who chose to get drunk and smoke. If you know you can’t control or handle it, why do you do it until you can’t?”
“NTA for you. YTA for her.” – sosopandicorn1
“NTA. You very clearly told her what it was, and she said she was a social smoker.”
“That f**king said, zero percent is zero percent. I know, as do any regular cannabis user, if it doesn’t have THC, YOU AREN’T HIGH. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE.”
“Like you said, gal was drinking like a fish and likely is an alcoholic in denial.” – EthanDC15
“NTA. Even if it was actual THC containing cannabis, if you’re willing to share and you accurately describe the name of the drug and its potency, you’re still NTA.”
“It’s the responsibility of the other person to decide what to put into their body, and to know what the drug is and what it will do. It’s not your fault that she made a poor decision, and it wouldn’t be your fault either way.”
“She’s an adult that’s responsible for her own choices, and as long as she is properly informed, it’s on her if she decides to smoke.” – daylight1943
“NTA, but I usually don’t introduce new things to people I’m not very close to. I’ve seen people do that, and it doesn’t often end well. I saw a guy try weed once, and later blamed a fight he had with a friend on the effects.”
“Weed doesn’t make you angry; it mellows you down. But since he wasn’t familiar with the effects, he chose the first thing that was new and blamed it on him.”
“The thing is, most people who aren’t habitual smokers would hear hemp and think weed. Everyone doesn’t know the difference. She likely thought it was a weed cigarette, ignored the impact it might have, and then took it too far with the drinks.”
“When it came to the fall, her mind went to the weed immediately, likely because she thought she could handle alcohol which she may be more familiar with.” – Famous_Variation4729
“Why would you even consider that you are at fault for this woman’s atrocious display of drunken, sloppy behavior? You clearly stated that there wasn’t THC in the cigarette, so clearly you didn’t have a part in her ridiculous antics.”
“That being said, this is so hilarious, it’s fun to contemplate the mental gymnastics she’s doing.” – MasterSpeaker4888
“Why does your friend think a hemp cigarette was sketchy? There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding around hemp.”
“Definitely stay away from Jessica. If you find yourself at the same family gathering as her, give her a wide berth – no conversation, no interaction, no nothing.” – InterruptingChicken1
Others agreed and were sure that Jessica didn’t want to accept responsibility for her fall.
“NTA. She was drunk. It sounds like she was embarrassed that she made a scene and embarrassed herself, so she wanted to blame someone else.” – Proud_Fee_1542
“She brought this on herself by drinking frozen margaritas like they were slushies instead of booze.”
“NTA.”
“By the way, throwing a drink at someone is assault, so in case she tries to involve the police… ya know, you have something to report.” – No_Thought_7776
“She was drunk. It sounds like she would have fallen into the pool even without smoking anything. Definitely NTA.” – Oddly_Appeased
“NTA. Being drunk isn’t an excuse for bad behavior.” – mistyofmaverick
“NTA, this was all on her. She got drunk of her own accord, and she smoked a cigarette of her own accord, knowing exactly what kind it was.”
“You did nothing wrong. She just can’t control her drinking. She owes you an apology.” – winterworld561
“NTA at all. She just sounds drunk, embarrassed, and more drunk. While hemp cigarette does sound sketchy, to the unsuspecting, but you proved it was not anything of concern.” – purplespaghetty
“Even if it was weed, you warned her, and she took it. This is all on her. She needs to apologize and maybe get some help with her drinking if she’s having a hard time and turning to alcohol because of it.”
“Your friends saying you’re the AH are weird for saying as such, and you might want to reevaluate those friendships. NTA.” – PaigeMaster89
“NTA, but she is definitely a drama scene. And apparently, everybody who chimes in likes the drama. I personally would just forget about it, move on, and let them hash it out.”
“She’s a grown woman. You didn’t get her high. She just didn’t want to admit that she was drunk and sloppy. They’ll figure it out.” – No_Hope_Left_72
While the subReddit could understand trying something new and not working out quite the way they might have expected, they still felt it was Jessica’s responsibility to know what she was accepting, especially based on the information the OP gave her.
If she felt embarrassed by her own actions, that was one thing, but it certainly wasn’t something the OP had to take responsibility for.