Being a co-worker can be stressful.
A person may need to cover for another person now and again.
But not everybody follows the thought pattern.
Redditor Grill_Only_Outside wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
"AITA for not telling my coworker I was leaving him alone when he’s deathly afraid of ghosts?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"One of my coworkers is from a different country where ghosts are a major fear and part of their folklore."
"Let’s call him Tony."
"We work at an office at a factory where more than a dozen people have died over the past century, including the founder."
"All accidents."
"In the office, we have an informal agreement that no one will leave Tony by himself."
"He likes to work later (usually 10-6 pm) but will use leave if no one can stay with him".
"We do it out of courtesy."
"I should also note we can choose the hours we work as long as it’s 80 hours every 2 weeks."
"Last Friday, I was planning to work late."
"Tony did his usual survey of the office to see who would be staying the latest so he could plan."
"I told him I was going to be in until 6:30."
"He was happy because he could make up some time from earlier in the week."
"Around 5:30, my wife messaged me to say she wasn’t feeling well and asked if I could come home and take care of our toddler. "
"Of course, I said yes."
"Here’s where I may be the a**hole."
"I went to Tony’s desk, but he wasn’t there."
"I checked the rest of the office, and everyone else was gone."
"After maybe 5 minutes, I decided I wasn’t going to wait anymore and left."
"About 20 minutes later, Tony started texting me asking where I was, and when I told him I had left, he got really upset."
"He wasn’t yelling or anything, but kept asking why I would leave without telling him."
"I apologized and told him I needed to go take care of my kid and couldn’t wait any longer."
"Yesterday I came into the office, and it was like I was caught on tape kicking a puppy."
"Everyone was pissed at me and told me I should have waited longer."
"The way I see it is that staying late is just a courtesy."
"I get it’s a big deal to him, but my family is more important, and it’s not like I just walked out."
"I don't know if he was in the bathroom or what, but I waited for him for a few minutes."
"He’s a grown man and could pack up and leave on his own when he realized I wasn’t there."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So AITA for not telling my co-worker I was leaving work despite his severe fear of ghosts?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Her
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors declared that OP WAS the A-hole.
"YTA, when you couldn’t find him, you could have texted."
"Whilst you have no obligation to stay,"
"Basic communication to your coworkers is a reasonable expectation." ~ Quirky_Donut_1704
"Seriously."
"It would only take less than a minute to leave a message."
"Through text or a handwritten note, take your pick."
"OP really messed up here." ~ IceSeeker
"Leaning towards soft YTA."
"You aren’t responsible for his fear, but you’re aware of how severe it is, however minor it might be to you or other people, and you told him that you would be staying late."
"You had a valid reason to leave, but wasn’t there any way you could’ve told him that you needed to go?"
"Couldn’t you have texted/called him?"
"If it’s an 'informal agreement' not to leave Tony on his own and you broke that agreement, then it’s not surprising that the rest of the office would be pissed with you." ~ Wise_Sun_9910
"This is weird as sh*t."
"Grown adults should not require their coworkers to babysit them."
"NTA and that office have been its own little emotional ecosystem for way too long."
"I couldn’t work in that environment."
"If Tony needs an accommodation, he can talk to H[uman] R][esources] like the rest of us."
"And I don’t want my coworkers having my personal cellular number."
"It’s not your job to provide him with your whereabouts."
"All the people here thinking you’re the a**hole must be small, terrified children."
"LOL. Crazy!" ~ Icy-Arrival2651
"YTA. If you are working alone with someone and you need to leave early, you let them know."
"A text or a note."
"Even if he didn't have a fear of ghosts, there could be so many issues with this."
"If I were working alone with someone, especially in a factory, and they disappeared,"
"I would be so worried they got hurt and were unconscious somewhere, and I'd be scouring that place until I was able to contact them. And then throw in my illogical fear of ghosts and monsters, and I would probably give myself a heart attack while searching the place."
"Depending on the type of factory and work you do, none of you should be in there working on your own for safety reasons." ~ My_Uneducated_Guess
"YTA. Instead of waiting around, you could have texted or called to say, 'I have a family emergency and need to leave immediately.'"
"It took me all of 15 seconds to type it."
"You can be as skeptical as you like, but you put your coworker in undue distress when all it took was a minute of your time." ~ Narwen189
"Soft YTA, not for leaving, because your wife and toddler obviously came first, but for not sending Tony a quick text or calling him before you walked out."
"He had specifically checked who was staying late and made his plans based on you being there."
"You knew about the office arrangement, so disappearing without warning was bound to frighten him."
"His fear may seem irrational to you, but that isn’t really the point."
"A message saying, 'Family emergency, I have to leave now — you need to pack up too” would have taken seconds. Your colleagues are overdoing the outrage, but Tony had a fair reason to be upset. Apologise for the lack of warning, without apologising for going home. Hope this helps 🙂.'" ~AbsoluteMadness2024
"YTA. If it was generally agreed upon, even informally, you could have texted him, left a note at his desk/station/area, and I’m assuming you didn’t really wait more than 30 seconds, honestly."
"May karma prevail." ~ WickedCher0kee
"YTA. If you had texted him, letting him know you had an emergency, this would be an easy NTA."
"But as ridiculous as his ghost phobia is, it was understood by everyone that he wouldn’t just be left alone."
"Why you left without sending a quick text is hard for me to understand — it would’ve taken two seconds!" ~ YearlyDepression
"ESH. It would have been simple just to text Tony that you were leaving."
"It's just a common courtesy so that you're not leaving the very last person alone at work, because let's be real, nobody likes that."
"However, if you guys can choose the hours that you work, then Tony is definitely in the wrong for choosing a shift that ends so late. If his irrational fear is that bad that it causes him such distress, he should have switched to an earlier schedule to avoid making it everyone else's problem." ~ TNC-ME
"You're not TA for leaving, but the verdict is YTA for not texting, leaving a note, calling, or for not waiting like 5-10 more minutes."
"You left without saying anything."
"I don't care if you couldn't find him, we're not in the 90s when most people didn't have personal phones they could receive texts on."
"You literally had so many ways, including the old-fashioned note on his desk."
"Your reasons for leaving have nothing to do with why YTA."
"It has everything to do with your sh*t communication and consideration." ~ Theotherone56
"YTA. Not because of the ghost thing, but because leaving Tony alone at work - and still under the impression that you are in the building somewhere - is a health and safety risk."
"That means that in the event of an emergency or accident, he would waste time trying to call out to you for help when you had already gone home."
"It would've cost you nothing to leave a note on his desk saying you had to leave early." ~ LassLovesDogs
"YTA. There are plenty of reasons people might not like being left alone in a factory."
"It doesn’t matter if it’s because of fear of ghosts, heart attacks, accidents, or getting locked in, Tony doesn’t want to be left alone and takes precautions to make sure he isn’t."
'You’re under no obligation to stay at work until 6:30 or whatever time for his benefit, but you said you would, so of course you should have made sure to let him know when your plans changed." ~ Mystic_printer_
"YTA. He was relying on you being there, and you left with no warning."
"I get that your wife was unwell and you had to go and attend to your child."
"You could have texted him or left a note so he would at least be in the loop and could act accordingly." ~ Ryuuji-Akiyama
"YTA even outside of the whole ghost thing, you said you'd be working late, and instead of just leaving a note or sending a text saying you've had something come up and you have to leave earlier than planned, especially after you already had confirmed you'd be there." ~ pandanitemare
Reddit has some issues with you, OP.
Maybe next time text or call Tony.
Being suddenly left alone can be stressful.
Hopefully, everyone will move on quickly.
