Cynophobia is defined as an intense, persistent, and irrational fear of dogs, wolves, and other canines. But sometimes fear is labeled a phobia when it's actually justified.
A woman who was attacked by a dog in her teens turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after a coworker tried to force her to interact with their large dog.
Resident_Coast_5539 asked:
"AITA for walking out of my friend’s house the second she let her dog out, after promising she’d keep her in a room?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (20, female) have a severe fear of large dogs because I was badly attacked by one when I was 16. It used to be all dogs, but thanks to therapy, I’ve gotten to a point where I'm okay around small and medium ones even though, I still get a little anxious. I’m still working through my fear of bigger dogs."
"My friend M (22, female), who I met at work, has invited me over to hang out multiple times. I’ve always said no because of her dog. She has a Presa Canario and Boerboel mix who is six years old, and she constantly insists the dog is an absolute sweetheart. I’m not saying she isn't, but given her size, I don’t really want to interact with her."
"M knows all about my fear because we’ve talked about it, but she keeps pushing. A couple of days ago, she invited me over again, but this time she promised she would keep the dog put away the entire time I was there. I was still pretty hesitant, but since some of our other coworkers were going, I decided to go."
"When I got there, I walked up with another coworker, and M let us inside. Everything seemed fine at first. But right as I was taking off my shoes, M suddenly opened a door, maybe leading to the basement, I’m not even sure."
"Before I could even think, her dog came rushing out at us, barking and growling. I didn't stick around to ask questions. I just put my shoes back on, bolted out the front door, ran straight to my car, and drove off."
"Usually, my instinct is to completely freeze, so I'm actually proud of myself for getting out of there. But the adrenaline crash hit hard on the drive home; I had a massive panic attack and had to pull over."
"When I finally checked my phone, I had over 24 missed messages from M and our coworkers checking on me. I texted back saying I was fine, but had just panicked."
"At first, M seemed worried, but later she sent a text chewing me out. She accused me of acting like her dog is some kind of vicious beast and said I should have just stayed and let the dog sniff me to prove there was nothing to fear."
Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
"NTA. You only came because she made you a promise to keep the dog away. She broke the promise. You hold no blame." ~ strangefire13
"This is it right here. The issue isn't even just the dog, it's the blatant breach of trust. OP set a very explicit boundary, M agreed to it just to get her through the door, and then immediately went back on her word. You can't trust someone who pulls that." ~ CarinaKelly
"OP's been going to therapy and getting better, I hope this hasn't set her back. This is such a huge breach of trust, I would be livid." ~ QueenMotherOfSneezes
"NTA. I mean, I love dogs, and usually very large dogs are very sweet-natured, but it's not OK to deliberately surprise someone who's afraid of big dogs like that." ~ PinkPandaHumor
"Yep. That a**hole woman did it on purpose. She thought she could 'fix' OP and show her her dog was one of the good ones. She barely waited for OP to get through the door. I believe she had every intention of doing this from the very moment she promised OP the dog would be kept away. Creepy and mean behaviour." ~ AlexandraG94
"Yes, and OP should absolutely put M on blast on a group chat with all that were in attendance. M probably downplayed your fear and is steering the narrative to all involved that you were rude to leave when they might not have known the backstory."
"The nerve of her to angrily text you! OP should be absolutely indignant in that group chat and straighten that whole interaction out explaining how terribly rude M was to do her version of 'exposure therapy', with that kind of breed mix (!), when she clearly agreed to not let the dog out at all. That's not how that works. She's horrible." ~ Much_Luck2470
"100% and also I'd be tempted to advise her to go to HR about this since this is a coworker and the entire group was coworkers. The a**hole coworker is creating a hostile work environment, threatened physical assault, disregarded documented mental health needs, and is now harassing her and encouraging other coworkers to harass her." ~ Heatherjchin
"Also, with a dog like that it is normal for even people who are not afraid of dogs to feel uncomfortable. I don't like being around large dogs that are anything other than absolutely and completely chill, and I'm a huge dog person and know how to handle dogs pretty well. Totally inconsiderate of her. No excuse. I would not be hanging out with her again." ~ whale_and_beet
"I genuinely love dogs, including large dogs but that mix sends warning sirens up—both of those breeds are highly territorial mastiff breeds traditionally used for guarding, and not the sort of guarding done by livestock guardian dogs."
"While every dog is an individual, breeders will consider a dog’s temperament, doing what is possible to avoid pet and show dogs from having dangerous temperaments. No such caution is done for mixed breeds. Don’t get me wrong—every dog I’ve ever had has been a mix from the shelter."
"But knowing the dog is two specific uncommon/rare mastiff breeds—Boerboels don’t break the top 100 common US dog breeds, and Presa Canarios are even rarer, not a 'mastiff mix' makes me think backyard breeder aiming for profit over everything, including the dog’s health and temperament." ~ Slytherin_Victory
"Not only that, but the dog came out barking and growling. A small dog, I'd scoff, but a Presa/Boerboel mix? I'm not taking my chances with a large dog I have never met that comes at me like that." ~ karenskael
"Why would she trust the dog when she can’t even trust the dog’s owner?" ~ krittengirl
"NTA. M is the 'vicious beast'. She LIED to you about something that she knows terrifies you, then intentionally put you in that situation anyway. I would no longer socialize with her." ~ ArtsyGirl-and-Cat
"NTA. I love animals & if I'm ever able to buy a home, my housewarming gift to myself will be a dog. But I'm also sensitive to those that have an actual fear."
"Insisting on you coming coming over, with the promise that the dog would be kept in another room, only for it to IMMEDIATELY be let loose? That's calculated."
"She might have been testing your reaction, like some people do with allergies.I would never trust her again, and especially never go to her house again!" ~ ScareBear23
"NTA. You've been clear about this issue, M made understanding noises, then she put you into exactly the situation you were trying to avoid and proceeded to belittle you for the very reaction you told her you would have. You didn't ask her to head up a DIY exposure-therapy protocol for you." ~ Otherwise_Turnip7135
"NTA, also there’s plenty of dogs that don’t growl at new visitors or when meeting new people. M’s dog isn’t as nice as she claims." ~ External_Two2928
"And it was only four years ago that OP was attacked! There are people working through trauma they suffered DECADES ago!" ~ Dizzy_Corgi_9781
"NTA. This person is not your friend, they’re trying to use you to make a point. You don’t need that in your life." ~ mademoisellearabella
"Agreed. It makes me think of those people who try to sneak foods into things to convince people that they aren't really allergic to it, or that they aren't really vegan or something." ~ sigdiff
"NTAI just took on online harassment training course at my company today—you know, this grounds as something to report to HR about. This coworker does not respect your boundaries." ~ cartoonhurricane
"Especially if she is chewing out OP for it, you know M will frame it in a victim-blaming light to those at work. Nip it in the bud and let HR know so if rumors start at work, its already addressed by OP." ~ Wide_Concert9958
"NTA. Your coworker is the a**hole for belittling and brushing off your very real and justified phobia and essentially lying to you about their intentions with the dog. I’m a major dog lover and haver, but if I told someone I’d keep the dog away while they visited due to their fear, I would do it. Even if I know my dog is not a risk—because that’s not the point." ~ Sea_Yogurtcloset48
OP had made their coworker aware of why they feared dogs.
Releasing their large, growling, barking dog as OP walked in the door was a clear betrayal of their trust.
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