Sometimes we can't tell how someone feels about us until we come to them vulnerable and in need of help.
It's shocking and incredibly painful when a family member or close friend fails us in that moment, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Forward_Exchange_972 discovered her stepdad's and her mother's priorities and lack of loyalty toward her when a hurricane was on the way, and she was not allowed to stay in their home instead of her small rental if she brought her cat with her.
When she refused to leave her cat behind, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked that they still wouldn't let her come inside, even with her cat tucked away in a pet carrier.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting by being this upset that my mom and stepdad won't let me and my cat come inside during a hurricane?"
The OP was renting a guest house from her mom and stepdad.
"I’m 38 (Female) and currently live in a small guest house on my mom and stepdad’s property. I pay rent, much more than I should, and the guest house is separate from their main house."
"My stepdad has a strict rule against animals being inside his house because he doesn’t want them damaging his belongings."
"I have a cat, and while he says he loves my cat, he’s always been very particular about keeping animals outside of his house."
"I’ve respected that rule under normal circumstances."
But then a Category 3 Hurricane came.
"However, we’re now facing a Category 3 hurricane, and this is where the disagreement started."
"I was concerned about sheltering in my guest house because it’s a small building surrounded by large trees. To me, it doesn’t feel as safe as the main house."
"My parents are boarding up the windows and taking every precaution on their main house but seem to think the guest house is fine as is."
"I’ve never experienced a hurricane alone before, and I genuinely don’t know whether the building is safe enough to withstand the storm."
"The entire family is sheltering in the main house. My mom, my son (18 Male), my stepdad, and my uncle. It’s a brick house and sturdy."
"My mom believes the guest house is safe. I disagree, and my son also expressed concerns about its safety."
"To be fair, none of us actually knows how well the building would hold up, because we haven't lived here that long. But I’m personally scared to death; I don’t have experience with hurricanes, and I don’t want to be separated from my family."
"I assumed that because this was an emergency, my mom and stepdad would make an exception and allow me to bring my cat into the main house. Just to ride out the storm for like a day."
"Apparently, I was wrong."
The OP's stepdad still refused her cat, even in an emergency.
"My stepdad refused to allow the cat inside because of his rule about animals."
"My mom defended his decision, telling me that he’s the homeowner and I need to respect his rules."
"I told them I’m not leaving my cat."
"I understand that it’s his house, and under ordinary circumstances, I wouldn’t expect him to change his rules for me. But this is a hurricane."
"I started looking into hotels, evacuation routes, and even boarding facilities for my cat because I didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone in the guest house. He would probably be terrified. By the time I found out, it was too late."
The OP called out her parents, only for them to put the blame back on her.
"I told my mom that the situation had really hurt my feelings and made me feel like my safety and my cat’s safety weren’t priorities."
"My mom thinks I’m taking my stepdad’s rules too personally, and she genuinely believes the guest house was an acceptable place to shelter."
"From my perspective, I wasn’t asking them to permanently change their household rules. I was asking them to make a temporary exception during a potentially dangerous emergency. I would have been perfectly willing to keep my cat confined to a room or carrier to prevent any damage."
"I also want to add that we just moved here, so it’s not like anyone has experience with these two buildings in a hurricane."
"Am I overreacting for being this upset that they won’t let my cat and me inside the house during a hurricane?"
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some were disgusted by the stepdad's lack of priorities.
"Jesus f**king chr**t! What kind of an a**hole is your stepdad?"
"That he is willing to kill a family pet, just so they don't come inside?"
"And your mother is not much better for not standing up for you. This is awful. NOR." - ParticularHappy6587
"During a hurricane, our niece, boyfriend, kids, prairie dog, cats and dogs all came to our house (not that big) as they were being evacuated at the last minute. We had two of our own dogs."
"WE MADE IT WORK! Your stepdad is an AH." - BlueDiamondSolataire
"I don't know how people like this exist."
"I am pretty sure we’d have all the chickens in our house if we lived when there was a hurricane, if we didn’t think we could secure them in the garage and out buildings safely. All the dogs would be inside too."
"We don’t live where there are hurricanes, though, thankfully. We’d bring the horses inside our house, too, if it was needed." - Lizardgirl25
"You offered a carrier. He refused. That's not about property; it's control. Your fear is valid. A Category 3 is no joke, and leaving you out there is cruel." - Wowzery_Games
"I’m allergic, and I’d let your cat in. Please start saving up to move out. Your dad’s priorities are definitely odd." - ObjectiveRepulsive18
"He sounds like a small man whose rules are more important to him than your lives."
"Since you mentioned they were boarding up THEIR windows, where was this strong handyman when it came to YOURS? What the hell is he teaching your son, when it comes to his mother?"
"Especially since he'll be sitting in the main house, knowing that you're in danger that could have been prevented?"
"NOR." - Notte_di_nerezza
Others agreed and were also furious that the OP's mother sided with her partner instead of her daughter.
"Stepdad aside. That the woman who gave birth to you is taking his side against you and is willing to sacrifice your LIFE for his sick rules makes me want to vomit."
"I’d plan for how to get myself and my child and cat away from there, and then I’d think hard about how much contact I’d want with these people. NOR." - NicolinaN
"My mom thinks I’m taking my stepdad’s rules too personally."
"Stepdad: I don't care if you f**king die in a hurricane!"
"Yeah, NOR. People go no contact with their parents for less than this." - darkmythology
"'My mom is a pick-me that would rather see me dead than risk becoming single.' NOR." - Successful-Doubt5478
"What a horrid man, and a spineless mother. A category 3 hurricane and they don’t care?!! Jesus."
"Does he have antiques from Versailles or something? Even still, there must be a mudroom or basement or attic or freaking bathroom you can keep your cat in that won’t be destroyed, right?"
"This guy hates you Op. Or he’s a selfish monster." - nycsee
"NOR. What the h**l?! I'm in south Louisiana and hurricanes are standard stuff for us."
"During a big hurricane, my sister let us stay at her brick house because I live surrounded by trees. She's allergic to cats, but still told me to bring my two cats because she's not a flaming a**hole like your mom and stepdad."
"As the owners, it's 100% their responsibility to board up your residence. As your family, banishing you to experience a hurricane alone is monstrous. The cat can stay in the kennel if they're truly worried about damage. This was done to punish and exclude you." - RedneckDebutante
"NOR, obviously. I can't give advice on the hurricane as I've never experienced one, but I will say this."
"Afterwards, start quietly making plans to move out, saving up if you have to. Don't mention it to anyone, just do it on your own. Your mother has just essentially chosen her husband over her daughter. She's shown where her true loyalties lie. She quite clearly thinks her husband's household rule is worth the risk of her daughter potentially dying."
"She's chosen him over you. She'll do it again in the future, and may have even done it before, and you just haven't realized."
"As soon as you can, make plans and move out. Only tell people after you've secured somewhere else and moved. And if people ask, if you want to, tell them the truth: you were abandoned by your own mother in a hurricane in favour of her husband's household rule."
"My own mother put my stepfather first over my sibling and me since the day they married until this day (they've been married nearly 30 years), even through obvious abuse from my stepfather to my sibling and me (our mother turned a blind eye and claims she knows nothing about it)."
"It ruined our relationship with her and showed her true colours. We tried, but it never got better. I'm no contact with him and low contact with her, whilst my sibling has cut them both off completely."
"If your stepfather isn't going to allow your cat in his house during a hurricane, then he is evil. Even if he cares about his house, you can put your cat in a carrier or confine them to one room with minimal damage, zero if they are confined to the carrier."
"Personally, I wouldn't speak to your stepfather again, and I'd distance myself from your mother too, as she's made her choice and damaged your relationship."
"Obviously you can do what you want and feel is best, but that's my advice. Good luck." - Evangeleina
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update:
"UPDATE: We are fine!"
"My son is 18, and he refused to be in the main house if me and the cat weren’t coming. I told him he absolutely would not be with me and needed to be safe."
"But my mom ended up changing her mind. She also backtracked heavily and said she 'didn’t realize the storm was going to be that bad' (she absolutely did)."
"For everyone saying I’m 'too old to live with my parents,' I pay a significant portion of their mortgage to help them out. They’re my landlords, and in my opinion, I’m paying way more than I should be."
"Thanks for all the concern, advice, and opinions."
Fellow Redditors were still disgusted by how the OP had been treated.
"So OP is helping mom and stepdad pay their mortgage (or is it just stepdad's mortgage since mom says he's the homeowner), yet stepdad isn't willing to make a reasonable exception and allow the cat in during a category three hurricane if it's kept in a crate, and mom is too spineless to tell stepdad to back off?"
"OP is definitely NOR and may want to look into making other housing arrangements for herself, her son, and her cat that might be less costly than what she's paying now. It would suck to be them when they lose OP's financial help. They can figure out how to pay the mortgage without OP's money." - sunnygal001
"Wow, NOR. Guess you know you can't count on them in an emergency. For goodness sake, it's just for the duration of a storm; I think his belongings will survive."
"On the other hand, if the guest house is destroyed, you or the cat might literally die. His stuff vs. the health and safety of living beings. You see what he prioritized." - Kittyceltic
"Sounds like the parents are willing to let the daughter die too because she made it clear to them that she is not leaving her cat behind, and they still stood their ground and acted like the guest house was safe." - uxoehptz
"Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced that prosecutions are coming for anyone who abandons their dog or pet in the path of Hurricane Isaias."
"DeSantis said, 'You BETTER TREAT THEM PROPERLY. If you don’t, if you leave them in the path of a hurricane, YOU WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.' The warning follows the rescue of a dog named Trooper, who was tied to a fence on I-75 in Tampa with floodwaters rising during Hurricane Milton. A Florida Highway Patrol trooper saved him."
"That incident led to 'Trooper’s Law,' which makes it a felony to leave a dog tied up and stranded during a disaster. Residents are urged to take pets with them or bring them to free hurricane shelters." - Texie1976
"How sad to live in a world where you have to be reminded to take your pet with you when leaving a dangerous environment." - imcjoey13
"If she's alright after the storm, she should take the cat and son and move as far away as possible from the heartless scumbags." - DifficultyNeat4520
The subReddit was disgusted by how much the OP's mother and stepdad failed her, her cat, and, quite honestly, her son, because of their poor priorities. Not only did they put the OP and her cat in danger, knowing she wouldn't leave her pet behind, but they almost put her son in danger when he didn't want to leave her, and they certainly didn't set a good example of how to treat a woman.
Hopefully, the OP would make other arrangements that would not put her safety and her little family's safety in jeopardy for the next storm.
