It’s not news that many people have food allergies and intolerances and that we should take those allergies seriously.
But some people just can’t seem to get the memo, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor powrwnder recently had a heated argument with a new acquaintance, who insisted they knew more about lactose intolerance than the Redditor.
But when friends said they took the argument too far, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if they should have let it go.
They asked the sub:
“AITA for arguing with someone when he said I was lactose intolerant and didn’t have a dairy allergy?”
The OP had a dairy allergy from an early age.
“So I have a dairy allergy. I’ve had it my entire life.”
“When I eat dairy, my mouth and throat get itchy, and sometimes my nose gets runny.”
“I guess when I was a baby, my parents gave me cheese, and I kept itching my eyes. They took me to the pediatrician, and he determined I had a dairy allergy.”
The OP’s friends recently wanted to order pizza.
“I was hanging out with some friends yesterday, like 4 people, and my friend brought his friend ‘Allen’ along.”
“My friend said something about getting pizza and I said, ‘You guys can, and I’ll get a burger or something somewhere, because I can’t eat pizza’ (people forget, no big deal).”
The OP’s new acquaintance didn’t take them seriously.
“Allen was like, ‘Why can’t you eat pizza? Are you lactose intolerant?'”
“I said, ‘No, I have a dairy allergy.'”
“He was like, ‘It’s the same thing, just take a Lactaid, and you’ll be fine.'”
“I said, ‘No, it’s not. My reactions are different. This is an allergy, not an intolerance.'”
“He was like, ‘Dude, there’s no such thing as a dairy allergy. It’s lactose intolerance.'”
“I said, ‘Well, if I eat dairy, my throat gets itchy, and if someone has lactose intolerance, it upsets their stomach.'”
“He was like, ‘It’s lactose intolerance. Dairy allergies aren’t a thing.'”
“I told him if he wanted someone to explain it to him, I’d give him my doctor’s number, but I’m done discussing it, I had zero intention of doing that, but I was sick of going in circles.”
The OP’s friends didn’t agree with the OP’s argument.
“After Allen left, my friend that brought him said that I should have just agreed with Allen instead of arguing with him, because he’s ‘argumentative and always has to prove he’s right.'”
“They said that I antagonized him by feeding into it?”
“AITA? Should I have just said sure and let it go?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said Allen was assuming to not something about the OP that he didn’t.
“My brother is allergic to cocoa and milk, among a long list of other, not food-related stuff.”
“For him, it actually got better with age, but if he eats too much, he’ll get these large, red, itchy dry spots in the hollows of his elbows and knees. He was absolutely miserable as a kid though, they’d appear everywhere, except maybe his face.”
“Dairy allergy is very real, painful, and can be deadly. OP needs better friends, seriously.”
“I am lactose intolerant, unlike my brother. The worst that will happen to me if I eat dairy is I’ll get the s**ts. Which I tolerate on regular basis, because pizza is amazing, and non-dairy cheese tastes like a**.”
“It will get out of my system and I’m fine the next day. He will suffer much, much longer. Not the same d**n thing!” – Nik-ki
“Ask Allen where he received his MD (Medical Degree) from, because he needs a refund. Allen is uninformed and does not know your medical history.”
“NTA” – dellaevaine
“I have a severe form of Celiac’s (like unable to function sick with issues for weeks after a single exposure), and I’ve had to deal with a ridiculous amount of random people thinking they understood my condition better than I do, because they read something on the internet one time.” – LostUpstairs2255
“Why do people have to accommodate the Allens of the world to avoid inconveniencing them?”
“You explained it to him.”
“I learned there are dairy allergies, and those are not the same as being lactose intolerant. If I learned the difference by you, why couldn’t he? He can take it or leave it, not your problem.” – dystopianpirate
Others agreed and questioned the quality of the OP’s friends.
“What kind of a**holes is OP hanging around with that are telling OP to agree with the a**hole who says he knows OP’s health history better than OP!?” – FeuerroteZora
“As someone who became deathly allergic to chocolate, I’d never make it if my friends and family didn’t have my back about this mess.”
“‘I’ve never heard of it so it can’t possibly be true’ is some serious red flag material. Some people have even tried sneaking it into recipes to prove something. Luckily I keep an epi-pen on hand, and the people close to me know what to do.”
“OP needs better friends, and dude needs some brain cells to rub together.” – StarFyreMoon
“That is the part that gets me. OP needs to stay strong and tell her so-called friends, ‘No, he needs to be informed so that he doesn’t try to sneak cheese into me and then hand me a Lactaid saying HAHA, this will fix you.'” – tphatmcgee
“The reason Allen wanted OP to agree with him that all OP needed was Lactaid was to force OP to consume pizza, causing a painful reaction.”
“The friend is a major a**hole. This wasn’t being pedantic; it was about reasonable accommodation of a real disability.” – HavePlushieWillTalk
Though the OP’s friends thought they should just let the conversation go and let Allen be right about the dinner, the subReddit did not agree.
The OP was happy to eat something else while the group enjoyed the pizza; ideally, that’s where the conversation should have ended. In a perfect world, people would respect other people’s food preferences and needs, not pressure them into their own.