Having a dream career is something we all strive for, but not everyone can get. And, while we all want to support dreams sometimes we need to face reality and just get a job to pay the bills.
Redditor hellomello666 encountered an issue with his wife. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
He asked:
“AITA for telling my wife to stop making my sister feel bad?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Me (30M) and my wife (30F) have been married for a year. My sister (22F) recently, got kicked out by my mom (58F) for not getting a real job.”
“It’s my sister’s dream to become a content creator. She has recently reached 3k followers on Instagram. She makes vlogs about her daily life and posts them on Instagram. It doesn’t generate a lot of money but I’ve been supportive towards her.”
“After my mom kicked her out I let her move in with us since she had nowhere else to go.”
“And this is why my wife has been mad at me.”
“She keeps telling me to tell my sister to get a real job. It doesn’t help that my wife hates pets and my sister owns two cats. She even tried to convince me to throw away her cats.”
“My sister loves her cats more than anything. The cats also don’t bother us anyway. My sister also helps us with the chores and other stuff around the house.”
OP doesn’t understand why his wife is so opposed to his sister.
“It’s not like I am financially dependent on my wife either.”
“I am financially stable and make more than her and pay 2/3 of the rent. I am the one paying for everything my sister needs. Our home is 3 bedroom/3 bathroom. So I don’t understand what is the problem with my sister staying in one of the spare bedrooms.”
“So yesterday, we were having dinner when my sister told me she just hit 3k followers. She seemed so happy. I congratulated her.”
“She was then talking about how passionate she was to become an influencer.”
“But then my wife interrupted her saying, ‘It’s nice to have passions. But passions don’t pay the bills, honey. And let’s get real here that silly little dream of yours will probably never work out.'”
“My sister was heartbroken and she went to her room crying. I went after her and told her my wife didn’t mean anything she said, she was just stressed out.”
“I told her I have faith in her that she will achieve her dreams one day. After she was alright I went to my wife and told her that was extremely mean she owes my sister an apology.”
“But she called me a fool for supporting that silly little dream of her that will never work out. Now she’s giving me the silent treatment and making me feel like an AH.”
“So my question is AITA for this? Thanks.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was the a**hole.
“YTA. You did this without talking to your wife and getting an agreement. It seems you don’t care about your wife’s feelings at all.”
“Yeah you made all of these decisions without your wife.” ~ pnutbuttercups56
“Plus his wife and mom are right. The sister has zero chance of success. The camping focused finsta I haven’t touched since 2016 has 2.9k followers last I remember – if the sister is actually attempting to be a content creator and it’s taken her this long to hit a pretty unremarkable number and she’s ecstatic about it as if it’s an actual career goal….she’s beyond hopeless.”
“Subsidizing her unrealistic ‘dream’ is letting her become lazy and entitled and ensuring she’ll never actually gain the skills and knowledge to be able to support herself.”
“So not only did he cut his wife out of the decision making process he made some piss poor decisions as well.”
“ETA: took a look at the camping account I mentioned, it has 4.3k followers now. Without any posts since 2016. I’m sure they’re mostly all bots but like if the sister is working full time on trying to make this a career and has achieved 3k only?”
“She’s absolutely delusional to think she has a snowball’s chance in hell of making a career out of this. And op is doing her a huge disservice by telling her she can and to follow her ‘dream.’ She’s going to still be there in 10 years at this rate celebrating hitting the 7.5k mark and acting like success is just around the corner.” ~ MountainBean3479
“The thing is it’s not a silly little dream to be IG famous. It is a silly little dream to become IG famous on another person’s dime while refusing to work a job.”
“Having a job does not prevent her dream in any way shape or form so the silly little dream is her attempt to do it in this fashion in this ladies house! YTA!” ~ Sea_Seaworthiness906
Being an influencer is hard.
“Yeah, 3k followers is less than nothing when it comes to being a content creator. Wife may have worded things a little harshly, but she’s absolutely right. You can work while pursuing your passions. If I were the wife and I had not only been cut out of the decision to have her there but my husband was also congratulating her on such a meaningless milestone, I probably would’ve been even harsher, TBH.” ~ EducatedOwlAthena
“Pretty much this. How is she going to generate content without anything actually happening to her or being able to buy/pay for anything. ‘Influencers’ (god I hate that people aspire to that) need money to start and go places for pics. There’s a reason most of them probably got funded by mummy and daddy to have that lifestyle.”
“She’s living rent free and has 2 cats. For that I’d be expecting her to do all the chores not some of them and be given some money on top of that.”
“OP is YTA for being blind” ~ Mirgroht
“Like most influencers, I’m assuming she’s making stuff up that looks more interesting than what her actual life is. It’s all sets and poses and convenient angles to make you look more glamorous than you are. But in her case, she has an insignificant amount of followers to bring in any amount of money, so regardless, she needs a day job STAT!” ~ WolfgangAddams
“She was already tasked with getting a job. She either refused, or failed because available jobs are not ‘content creator.'”
“If the wife just said this to her out of the blue, I’d agree with you it’s out of line and not really her place. But when this girl was moved into her home without being asked, and now is living rent free on her and her husband while she makes vlogs all day, she gets a pass to say it’s a stupid ‘career’ and it’s time to grow up. She has been babied long enough.” ~ ghostofumich2005
“I had a gym teacher that had played in the NFL. Best advice he ever gave us was ‘Don’t bet your future on the dream.’ He lived his dream but was smart enough to know that dreams don’t last. That teaching degree he had for after the dream ended up coming in really handy. YTA” ~ Livid-Flan
OP should’ve talked to his wife.
“ESH. Your wife’s right. Whose gunna pay her way while she works on her dreams? You? Sounds like you’ll be divorced if that’s the case. And I won’t blame your wife.” ~ AllThoseRedFlags
“But hey he pays 2/3 of the rent so it’s ok” ~ DrinKwine7
“I liked that part, too. ‘Our joint, marital money pays for 2/3 of the expenses, and our joint marital money also pays for 1/3 of the expenses.’ Fixed it for you, OP. Even if you have a prenup and separate finances, you’re a household.” ~ CaimansGalore
“His wife is totally right in the grand scheme of things, but I don’t think his sister celebrating a milestone was the right moment. Even waiting the next day would have been better. But definitely ESH.” ~ lisa_lionheart84
“Yeah, if she actually used the phrase silly little dream then she kinda sucks for being so dismissive and rude. People are allowed to have hopes and dreams. But she’s not wrong that there’s next to no chance of it working out and she’s old enough to support herself and work on her dreams in her spare time like the rest of us.” ~ catsncupcakes
“Doesn’t matter how old she is. My husband wants to be a writer, I would never refer to it as a ‘silly little dream’ even if we are both aware it’s a difficult and unlikely career.”
“Like I said, the sister is old enough to support herself and work on it in her own time and you’re right that OP is enabling her. Not going to try and dispute him being an AH, he is. But there’s a big difference between having a polite conversation about how she needs to get a job, support herself and work on her dreams in her own time and being completely rude and dismissive of someone’s hopes and dreams. Two wrongs don’t make a right.” ~ catsncupcakes
This decision had to be made as a couple.