The work life/home life balance has gotten very blurry the last decade.
It's been especially foggy since COVID.
Many office people want to leave the office out of their home.
That can be a problem when your office wants to live with you.
Case in point...
Redditor Dangerous_Spot_5372 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the
“Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:"AITA for not letting a coworker move in with me when she might become homeless?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:"I (32 F[emale]) live alone in a 1 bedroom apartment." "Recently a coworker, let's call them Aly, has been coming to my supervisor to talk and visit almost every shift." "They've been talking about how Aly has had a downturn in job performance and might be laid off soon if things don't improve." "Aly is nice and outgoing but not reliable when it comes to office work." "The past couple of days my supervisor has been very interested in my living situation." "Always asking how the area is, how I decorate my space, and how my relationship is with the property management." "They have even started making comments about how lucky I am to live alone and how important community is." "Yesterday after Aly's usual gossip visit my supervisor messaged me on the company chat asking if I knew of any open apartments that Aly could rent for cheap." "When I told them that there are only a few apartments in my building and they are all occupied they asked me to come over to their desk for a talk." "It turns out that Aly's current roommates are breaking lease and she needs a place to stay." "For over a half an hour they went on about how I could let her live with me." "And how good it would be to carpool, split expenses, and have company at home." "I tried to keep the shocked look off my face as I told them, I felt for Aly and her situation but that I want to live alone and that my lease doesn't allow sublets." "My supervisor got visibly upset by this and kept pushing how we need to take care of our own and I have all this space that I could surely share for a while." "I repeated that I am not looking for a roommate and left to get back to work." "Not long after Aly walked past looking very upset and got into a whispered argument with my supervisor before storming off." "Ever since then several coworkers have started giving me the side eye and water cooler talk quickly turns to how we are a family culture here." "And how nice it is to work with caring people.""So AITA for not taking in a coworker I don't really know when they might get fired soon?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It's a tricky situation.
Let's hear some thoughts..."NTA. If they're so upset, she can move in with one of them." "It's easy to be generous with other people's space, time, and money." "They can all put up or shut up." ~ neverthelessidissent
"Exactly, I wonder why no one offered if they are so concerned, not even the supervisor. NTA." ~ harry_boy13
"Honestly, I might also report the supervisor and coworker to H[uman] R[esources]." "That's likely to make it a hostile work environment though, even though it seems like it is now." "Secondly, your apartment doesn't allow sublets." "If your landlord found out there was one, YOU'D be homeless." "And even then, how is a one bedroom supposed to work for two people that aren't in any kind of relationship where you could share the one bedroom?" "I don't know what the hell is going on with your coworker and supervisor thinking you could or would do that, but it's really messed up to even ask you." "And I doubt your coworkers has heard your side." "So your coworker and supervisor very well could've lied or exaggerated that conversation to your other coworkers." "No, NTA at all." "It's yours, you didn't move in there to share, you didn't ask to someone to share with you." "It was a highly inappropriate situation and you handled it well." ~ Please_Do_Share
"So much this!" "I was actually going to say I would love OP to write to Alison just because I'd love to see her response!" "OP this is all so wildly inappropriate I don't even know where to begin, except I think this is definitely one for HR." ~ ACatGod
"It makes me question if Aly and the supervisor are related or best friends outside of work." "Even in the deepest BS 'We're not work, we're family!'" "Places I've worked, never in a MILLION years would any supervisor have asked an employee to let another employee move in with them." "OP needs to find a new job, honestly." "This place sounds so effed up." "She should not know that Aly is on the verge of losing her job and being homeless unless she and Aly were close enough to discuss it." "Supervisor gossiping with other employees, or even just letting their disciplinary conversations be overheard, is such a red flag." "And now they turned the entire office against OP for setting a very reasonable boundary? No way." ~ anndor
"I was waiting for that comment!" "Who do they think they are?" "You boss and colleague have no right to ask that of you and pressure you!" "It would be something else if she was a good friend of yours that worked with you, but a simple colleague?" "It is not because you live alone that you have the space for a roommate!" "If you only have one bedroom, where would she sleep?" "In your bed??" "And what if she gets sacked (since she's about too) how will she contribute?" "Go to HR! OP is NTA!" ~ MagicUnicorn37
"NTA. She sounds like the sort of person who would stay forever, not clean up after herself, eat all your food, and never pay rent." ~ No_Issue_7904
"Don't do this." "HR is only there to protect and help the company NOT YOU!" "Document this for a wrongful termination and hostile work environment lawsuit." "I am sorry to say this is the end of working for that company for you." "These type of places are more about control than production." "She unreliable and is gonna get fired, but you should let her move in with you." "Where you would eventually be responsible for this adult." "Shake my head protect yourself. Vote NTA." ~ There_R_NO_MOUNTAINS
"Except that there has been no wrongful termination and this is not legally a hostile workplace." "There is no lawsuit here." "If OP's company has good HR, they'll coach the manager to has less personal relationships with direct reports." "And that it's inappropriate to volunteer someone's living space and pressure them about it." "If it's serious enough, HR can recommend to higher-up managers to either fire or demote this one." ~ dalpaengee
"My thoughts exactly and OP I would report supervisor and Ally to HR immediately!" "The fact that you live alone doesn't give anybody right to impose others in your private space and time!" "And tell any coworker that as family they they should be generous then and welcome Ally in their own house, not someones else!" "NTA - what's with this new 'culture' that single people and people without kids should put up with harassment and be generous with their own space time and money." "Like the fact they are single or child free makes them less human and with no rights on private life!!???" ~ CrazyMath2022
"Omg this!! So much." "I just bought my first place." "And my mom kept going on about how big it was for just one person and pissing me off." "Like first of all it's not that big." "Yeah there are probably smaller houses but there are way bigger ones too." "I wanted a 3 bedroom because I work from home so I needed one to be my office and my nephews always want to come over." "So having the extra space to accommodate them seemed like a smart idea." "And even if it too big for one person why the hell does that matter?" "It's mine I get to decide how much house is right for me." "But it's just really weird to me that ops boss is going in about how much space she has." "Uh it's 1 bedroom. That's not big." "How hell is that supposed to work for more than 1 person/a couple?" ~ evil_moooojojojo
"OP needs to go to HR immediately, this is such an inappropriate thing to ask of a coworker!" "Not only did they try to pressure OP into moving in with someone she doesn’t want to live with, they’re making a hostile work environment by spreading things about OP." "Also they knew what they did was wrong." "That’s why they talked to you instead of continuing on emails/messaging client." "Go to HR." ~ Butterkupp
OP... Reddit feels you are completely in the right.
So feel good about your decision.
Your house, your rules.
