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Pregnant Woman Asks If She Was Wrong To Get Boy Kicked Off Bus For Refusing To Give Up His Seat For Her

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Being pregnant is hard for many women, and while they want to continue living their everyday lives, it can be physically difficult to do that.

One pregnant woman described how she was struggling at the end of the day out with her sister on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and had an altercation with a passenger.

A Redditor who since deleted her account described how when she asked for a place to sit down, the passenger refused.

The Original Poster (OP) asked the sub: 

“AITA for making a boy give me his seat on the bus?”

The OP explained how she had gone out for the day to spend time with friends. 

“I’m pregnant. yesterday I went to go shopping with my friends for the day. My boyfriend took the car for work so I decided to take the bus instead of getting my friends to pick me up (We all live quite far away from each other and the shopping center that we picked to go to was fairly in the middle of everyone. No point in them going out of their way to get me).”

At the end of her fun day, the mom-to-be was physically in pain. 

“By the time we finished, it was three-ish and my feet were killing me. When I got on the bus it was packed with school kids. Now idk (I don’t know) if this is everywhere, but where I live, if a bus is packed and an elderly person, pregnant person, a person with a baby, or an injured person asks for your seat, you have to give it to them and you can get kicked off if you don’t.”

But when the OP asked for the seat, she was met with resistance. 

“I went to a boy sitting in priority seating and asked for his seat, he told me to f**k off.”

“I pointed to the sign above his head that said that he has to give it to me. He still refused.”

“The bus driver then asked him if he needed the priority seating and he said that he got on first so it’s his seat. The bus driver said that I needed it so it’s my seat.”

“Subsequently, the boy was kicked off the bus, and he was very angry about it.”

Fellow Redditors responded anonymously, rating the OP’s request and the young man’s reaction on the following scale: 

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Most were quick to point out that the transportation’s rules and the boy’s reaction were enough to rule out the OP being TA. 

“NTA. That’s what those seats are for, and unless he had a disability you had priority.”cyfermax

“NTA. Those are literally the posted rules of the bus. He shouldn’t have gotten on the bus if he wasn’t willing to comply with the rules.”CornPorridge

“NTA. He was asked if he needed priority seating, he didn’t say he needed it but that it was his because he was there first. That’s not what priority seating is. He also doesn’t get points for cursing at you.”DogsReadingBooks

“Man you can really tell here how much Reddit hates pregnant women. So many of you are talking about how entitled and demanding OP is but I don’t really see any evidence of that. She asked for the seat, he told her to f**k off, she reminded him of the clearly stated rules, and then the bus driver intervened and eventually kicked the kid off the bus.”

“Maybe it’s biased and she was actually horrible but currently that is a complete assumption. Like I don’t really see where you’re getting the idea that she made a big scene or demanded it and the slack yall are willing to give to some kid who told a woman to f**k off after asking for the seat is crazy.”

“If he does have an invisible disability he could have handled the situation in like, an unbelievable multitude of other ways. It’s nuts how you guys are acting like she’s entitled for asking for the seats specifically set aside for those with disabilities and pregnant women. Good lord. NTA.”missluluh

A few wondered about the kid and what else the OP could have done, however. 

“Why didn’t you ask someone else? You literally got a KID kicked off the bus. Of course he’s going to be angry about it. He’s a kid, anything could’ve happened to him when he was forced to walk home. How obvious was it that you’re even pregnant?”seba-make

“If it was a priority seat then NTA although you’re taking the bus pregnant during covid and making others pay for it… if it was normal seating YTA entirely.”

“Others shouldn’t have to move because you decided you didn’t want to ask one of your multiple friends for a ride. For someone who didn’t want to trouble your friends for a small gesture to a pregnant woman, you sure as h**l didn’t feel bad guilting and kicking a boy off the bus.”

“You kicked a presumably underage boy onto the street, what if he didn’t have any more bus fare or didn’t have a phone and he ended up stranded? What if he got lost cause he didn’t know how the bus routes worked in that area? What if he got hurt trying to walk the rest of the way to his destination?”

“Obviously while these may not be likely they’re all possibilities cause you couldn’t handle the consequences of your own actions. Next time boss your friends into giving you a ride not kicking a minor to the curb.”selfimprecated

“YTA only for not asking someone else. This kid may have had a reason why he needed to sit that aren’t really your business and you could have asked any number of other riders to move.”thesoggydingo

“ESH.”

“You sound entitled, and the boy sounds rude.”

“You picked this boy at random, demanded he give up his seat to you, didn’t bother to ask anyone else in priority seating aside from him, and had the driver kick a child off a bus?”

“He shouldn’t have used foul language, but you shouldn’t have instantly jumped to the most drastic measure to get your way.”

“Seriously.”

“Nobody acted with grace here. Especially you. As an ‘adult’ you should have been more mature and understanding that children don’t have the best judgment.”

“You got a child kicked off a bus, lord knows how far from home or school. Did you give a single thought to his safety? Or did you feel justified because he’s an immature child who reacted inappropriately, as children tend to do because, you know, children don’t have fully developed prefrontal cortexes, unlike adults, who should be more understanding of children having poor impulse control and less empathy?”

“We learn empathy through experience and with age.”

“You seem to have missed those lessons.”davcode422

Undoubtedly most people want to remain seated on public transportation, and the instinct for some is surely “first come, first served.” But when it comes to those in need, it’s best to help them out instead of worrying about who got there first.

At least if the young man had considered that, he wouldn’t have lost his mode of transportation for the afternoon.

McKenzie Lynn Tozan

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.