When it comes to family, everyone has different comfort levels with showing affection for and around their relatives.
But that doesn’t mean that a person should insult someone else’s family just because they show affection differently than their own, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor kmm222 had always been close to his younger brother, but they were especially close after the loss of their parents, which led to him becoming his younger brother’s guardian.
When his girlfriend started commenting on their relationship and called them disgusting, the Original Poster (OP) decided he had heard more than enough.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for kicking out my girlfriend because she said my relationship with my brother was disgusting?”
The OP was close to his teenage brother.
“I’m (22 Male) a legal guardian of my 15-year-old brother. We’re very close and we have always been like that.”
“He lives with me now obviously. He often gets really sad, we recently lost our parents, so I comfort him as best as I can.”
“So, about my girlfriend, we have been together for two years. She doesn’t live with me, she stays over really often though, so she has the house keys.”
The OP’s girlfriend made a scene during a recent visit.
“Two days ago, she came over without warning me. My brother and I were asleep on couch. He wasn’t wearing a shirt because it was hot, and he was laying on top of me.”
“She woke us up and made a scene in front of him. She said that our relationship was weird and disgusting and she thinks it’s extremely concerning that he’s so affectionate towards me.”
“My brother was in tears and he even apologized to her. I brought him to his room and calmed him down.”
“As a side note, this doesn’t happen often. We were on couch, watching tv, and fell asleep. He laid on top of me after he fell asleep, because he moves around a lot while sleeping.”
The girlfriend didn’t see an issue with how she’d acted.
“I went back to the living room, and she was sitting on couch, watching tv, and acting like nothing happened.”
“I told her to get the f**k out.”
“She got defensive and said that she was just stating her opinion without hurting anyone.”
“I grabbed her wrist and brought her to door. I didn’t hurt her, she was following me, and I didn’t use any force.”
“She left, and she called me a few times, but I didn’t answer.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some pointed out that the girlfriend had clearly said hurtful things after making the brother cry.
“NTA. Is your brother not a person to her? What the f**k?” – Rabbitx2
“I hate when people say hurtful things, claim it’s ‘just their opinion,’ and then go about their day like no harm, no foul. Just cause no one is bleeding doesn’t mean nobody was hurt.” – Drowsiest_Approval
“These are the same people who like to say, ‘I’ve got no filter,’ as if it absolves them of consequences of their a**hole behavior.” – mar1onett3
“You know, ‘My Little Pony’ had a friendship lesson about this. Rarity asked Applejack to help judge a fashion show because she was honest. Well, Applejack was critical of the designer ponies and justified it by saying it was ‘just her opinion’ and she was ‘just being honest.'”
“It wasn’t till Rarity took Applejack to meet Strawberry Sunrise who didn’t like apples that Applejack realized that her opinions could be hurtful if she didn’t use tact.”
“I know it’s just a cartoon, but I think some people could benefit from these friendship lessons.” – demonlilith
“Let’s not forget accusations like that involving a 15-year-old could have serious repercussions, and he’s already lost his parents.” – suzi63
“Oh god yeah… the whole, ‘I say it like it is, I do,’ crowd. My father-in-law is one of them. ‘I’m honest and I’m upfront and if you don’t like what I say then it’s time to look in the mirror.'”
“No, f**k off. You’re insensitive, rude, and too d**n entitled or lazy to take the time for the social niceties the rest of us give to and expect from others. You’ve hit a nerve!” – BeholdYou_is_my_kik
Others were appalled by the girlfriend unnecessarily sexualizing a brotherly relationship.
“NTA. F**k that. Sexualizing your relationship with your brother, especially in your specific circumstances, is a huge red flag.” – Giantmato
“Sometimes people who have never had to grieve themselves don’t understand what it’s like to go through it. OP was simply comforting his brother and they passed out. No harm, no foul.”
“After my dad passed I (as a 21 Female) slept in the same bed as my mom on and off for a couple of weeks. OP, keep up the good work. Honestly, I’m glad you kicked her out, your brother probably appreciated the support.” – emlyklg
“I have two brothers and we are all best friends. Our parents have passed on the past two years. Grief will f**k you up in a big way! People don’t get it.”
“I don’t remember going on for the first three months after our mom passed but I know I was able to because of my brothers.”
“Definitely NTA, blood before others! My brothers have girlfriends now and I watch that business like a hawk. They are all I have, and no one will ever treat them badly as long as I’m around! Family over anyone, that b***h needs to go!” – sdmh77
“What really hit me was the depth of her accusations.”
“She says it’s ‘inappropriate’ or ‘weird,’ but what she’s really suggesting is that OP and his brother have some sort of perverted sexual relationship. I like that she didn’t say that though, it’d probably make her realize how dumb that sounds.”
“It’s also really weird of her that she wanted to stay after accusing her boyfriend of having an incestuous relationship with her brother!” – mind_walker_mana
“NTA. S**t, me and my brother have a pretty bad relationship, mostly indifferent. We don’t fight physically (verbally yeah because he can be a pos sometimes) or hurt each other. I don’t even remember the last time I’ve ever told him I love him. Like I do, he’s my little bro, I just don’t think I’ve ever said that.”
“Anyways, I have a pretty bad relationship with my brother and not even I saw anything wrong with what OP and his brother are doing. They’re finding comfort in the last family they have and there’s nothing wrong with that!”
“Imagine how much this girl would have exploded if OP had a sister instead of a brother!” – AnimalLover38
“I have a pretty good relationship with my brothers, but not like OP, and yet I still see nothing wrong with it.”
“The age difference between the two, and the loss of the parents definitely open parental gates to feelings that brothers might not normally show each other, but it seems like both get an emotional boost from it, so I say more power to them.”
“People who see incest-type leanings from them are just displacing their anger at not being able to open up about their issues.” – arieselectric46
“NTA. What she said was f**king disgusting and unwarranted. I used to read a lot of advice columns and was always amazed at the number of insecure girlfriends who were convinced that their guy was being inappropriate with his sister because they were close and hung out a lot. This is so much worse.”
“You have stepped up to create a safe and comfortable home for your (15-year-old!) brother in the wake of tragedy and your girlfriend twists that into something dirty?! Nah, bro.”
“Also, I’m really sorry about your parents. I hope you’re carving out some time to grieve and take care of yourself. It’s incredibly selfless what you’re doing with your brother but I have no doubt that you see it as no big deal.”
“You seem like good people, OP. Wishing you peace and happiness with your brother.” – green_velvet_goodies
After receiving feedback, the OP shared a quick update:
“Thanks for all the comments. I talked to her, and she still said that she didn’t do anything wrong. She says she didn’t hurt my brother and it wasn’t her fault that he started crying.”
“I broke up with her.”
The subReddit was absolutely appalled by the girlfriend’s behavior and accusations, not to mention the fact that she at first refused to leave and also persisted that she had done nothing wrong and had not hurt anyone.
On the contrary, she had made the OP’s brother cry, which is more than enough evidence to show that the girlfriend had, in fact, hurt someone, but also the severity of the claim that she was making about the brothers could have hurt them in a much grander way if she had informed someone of her suspicions and they had chosen to listen to her.
Thank goodness the OP did what was right for him and his brother before it was too late.