We all like things done a certain way.
Be it how we organize a shelf, fold towels or make up a bed, sometimes we can’t help but get frustrated when things aren’t done to our liking or how we’re accustomed to doing them.
But Redditor supergianthairytoe eventually had enough of her boyfriend criticizing her for not always meeting his organizational standards.
Concerned she may have been in the wrong, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not always stocking the fridge how my boyfriend wants?”
The OP first filled readers in on her current living situation and how she frequently has her hands quite full.
“My boyfriend (bf) and I have been together for 4 years, living together for over two and have a small son together.”
“My bf likes things done a certain way and will constantly correct me if I don’t do them the way he likes.”
“Examples of this are he likes the fridge stacked a certain way to be hygienic he says, but I’m studying law and watching a toddler (also have 4 other kids that aren’t his) and doing housework all at the same time and sometimes I don’t put things on the right shelves in the fridge (he’s literally labelled them to help).”
‘Another example is I apparently don’t crush plastic bottles sufficiently or ‘right’, although I’m pretty small with freakishly weak wrists and struggle to do this, he maintains I’m just not using the correct technique.”
“This is relevant because with 7 people in the house we need all the space we can get in the bins or they’ll over flow.”
“So he will just tut and take bottles off me when I’m trying to do it because I don’t do it right.”
It finally got to be a bit too much for the OP to handle on top of everything else, leading to some tension with her boyfriend.
“Anyway today I was receiving lecture number 15000 about why I need to put things on the right shelf and I had enough, he barely says ANYTHING nice to me but it’s constant criticisms of the tiniest most pointless things and I snapped, told him to F/O and came upstairs.”
“I’m just so sick of being criticized endlessly when I’m working my a** off and our toddler who is 3 in march STILL doesn’t sleep through but I’m the only one who gets up with him because my partner works (which includes him driving long distances so I do think he shouldn’t be tired to do that and he does let me have lie ins at the weekends).
“But I’m exhausted, over stressed, overwhelmed and despite me communicating this a billion times all he has for me is nit picking stupid criticisms and I can’t take it anymore.”
“He’s saying it should be an easy and simple thing for me to manage but he isn’t trying to study law while watching an unruly toddler on no sleep!”
“I say I try but it’s a fridge if I do it wrong just put it on the right shelf and leave me alone.”
“AITA here?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many felt the OP’s boyfriend was clearly overreacting and should just reorganize the refrigerator to his liking, rather than constantly telling the OP she’s doing it wrong.
“NTA he needs to ease up on his criticism and acknowledge that you are doing your best.”
“I am relating so hard to this post OP :(“.-Ok_Pay5513.
“It sounds like you ran a full fridge with 4 kids, looooooong before he came along.”
“Tell him to stop, he doesn’t get to control you like that and then put you down.”
“Why do you keep apologizing and acting like you should be listening to him if you had the time.”
“NTA.”- HurrySubstantial4890.
“NTA.”
“He’s being judgmental instead of helpful.”
“He should buy a second refrigerator for himself and keep things stacked the way he likes.”
“As to hygiene, as long as it’s not raw meat or blocking air circulation, put the food on any shelf you like.”
“Raw meat goes in clean sealed container/package on the bottom shelf.”- Meghanshadow.NTA!
“Seems like you have lots of things to deal with so if he’s so particular about the fridge I say he can start stocking it by himself from now on..”- ficklpickl.
“NTA.”
“If how you do it isn’t good enough, he should do it.”- procrastinating_b.
“NTA.”
“If he wants it done in a very specific manner, he can do it himself.”- DangerousDave303.
A few Redditors shared they had similar experiences in past relationships and warned the OP she might need to seriously consider whether or not she was in a healthy relationship.
“This brought me to shuddering horror as I lived 16 years with a man who would call me through to point out how I had incorrectly arranged dishes on the drainer and watch over me redoing it.”
“He was ‘helping me learn’ and it was for my own good.”
“In my experience it won’t get better and I can’t stress enough the toll it took on me.”
“Please think carefully about your future.”-ClareSwinnNTA.
“OP, this really concerns me, especially if he never has anything nice to say to you.”
“Does he help you at all with childcare?”
“Do you ever get breaks to do something that’s going to relax your mind and body?”- WiseBat
“NTA- I used to be like your bf.”
“My husband’s sloppiness used to give me added stress while I was working 80+ hrs a week and studying for the CPA.”
“For my sanity I gave up caring.”
“Fast forward 10 years and we now have 3 kids and I still have 80+ hr work weeks and he’s the one pissed off the house is a constant wreck.”
“Not my problem, he taught me not to care if it takes a couple days to get to dishes or laundry doesn’t get out away immediately.”- cut-the_cheese.
Here’s hoping the OP’s boyfriend will soon see a refrigerator can be easily reorganized.
Hopefully, making sure he is in a happy and healthy relationship will matter more to him than where someone puts the milk.