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Woman Furious After Her New Boyfriend’s Mother Demands She Be On Birth Control If She Wants To Date Her Son

Tat'âna Maramygina / EyeEm/GettyImages

Most parents want what’s best for their children and will do anything to protect their well-being.

Because of this, meeting the parents of the person you’re dating is probably one of the most intimidating moments in a budding relationship.

Redditor mentoillness420 had a disastrous dinner with her boyfriend’s parents – one of whom didn’t even allow her ample time to make a good impression.

The Original Poster (OP) took to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit after her reaction to being asked a very private question in front of everyone at the dinner table.

Her subReddit headline was:

“AITA?//my boyfriends mother told me i’ll need to go on the pill if i want to date her son.”

The OP wrote:

“So I met my boyfriends parents for the first time last week and we had dinner.”

“During dinner we were talking and his mother asked me if I was on the pill right in front of my boyfriend, his twin brother and his father.”

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“I was very embarrassed and I told her no when she said that I would have to go on it if I wanted to date her son and that I would need to prove that I was on it next time I met her.”

“I got quite upset at this as it was very embarrassing for me. I apologised and stated that I would be leaving when she told me that I was being rude and it was only a question.”

“At this point I kind of snapped and told her that it was a very personal question and she shouldn’t have asked me that in front of everybody and that if she had asked me in private maybe it would be different.”

“I’ve told other people this story and they told me I was kind of an a**hole about it but I would like to know what you guys think?”

The OP also clarified her age in the comments.

“We are 18 and we have been dating for about 4 months.” 

Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

“NTA. Your medical information is none of her business, and ESPECIALLY not the entire dinner table’s business.”

“And even MORE not her business when she’s meeting someone for the first time.” – cocoemerson

This Redditor suggested that two could play this game.

“OP shouldn’t have answered her question.”

“Instead maybe OP should ask to see the parents medical records before she risks a possible pregnancy with their son.”

“Inquire about inheritable diseases, alcoholism, mental problems, longevity, convictions, divorces, illegitimacy etc, in their family lines. Tell them that you hope rudeness isn’t inherited.” – Lily_Roza

Redditors dragged the mother by giving sarcastic solutions.

“I have am IUD. How should I prove that? Jump up and down and hope that it rattles?” – wittylittlepieceof

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“I use nuvaring. I wonder how she’d feel about me making a point to fish it out and show her every month?” – Cambridge_Comma

“How would you even prove something like that, show her the half empty prescription bottle where OP could’ve thrown some pills away?” – Chipmunks95

“I have an IUD, would she want an X-ray to prove it was in place?” – jarvisleguin

Redditors pointed out that engaging in safe sex was a two-way street.

“NTA. How about the thing that actually matters: ask the mom to prove that her son wears condoms which protect both partners from pregnancy and from STDs.”

“(He should wear condoms if you plan to have sex, whether or not you are on the pill. And your body is NOT her business.)” – bobbyspankster

“NTA. Ask her if she made her son buy condoms. He is the only one she should be concerned with.”

“I always wonder about these women worried about babies. There is a whole lot of other shit out there that you can catch and spread around by NOT wearing a condom.”

“A baby ain’t the worst thing that can happen after unprotected sex you know.” – RudeAndBrutallyHones

People wondered if the boyfriend was silent during the interaction, which to them indicated a red flag.

“NTA. But I want to know what did boyfriend said during all of this?”

“Because if he said nothing then you should shut the door on this asap.” – andwhiskersonkittens

“The real question is how did your SO respond? If they didn’t stand up for you, that is the root of the problem you have.” – theinnocentincident

“Imagine things work out with this dude. This could be your mother in law!!!! If he’s not stepping up he never will and I would run for the hills.” – hungryamericankorean

“I can give him the slightest of passes if he was too shocked at the moment to say anything, but if he didn’t talk to her very soon after to explain it was absolutely inappropriate, or if there is any indication the family thought this was normal, goodbye.” – Cambridge_Comma

The same Redditor added:

“NTA. I’m glad you left. What she did was a power move designed to tell you that you owe her an explanation for the most intimate details of your life and that she will make sure everybody knows your business.”

“She’s trying to train you early in the relationship with her that you are powerless and she can do whatever she wants to you in front of others and it is OK.”

Regarding the boyfriend’s reaction, the OP confirmed:

“he was really embarrassed about it and apologised later and told me he had a talk with his mother.”

This Redditor was not satisfied.

“Nope. Not good enough.”

“I guarantee you his ‘conversation’ went ‘mooooom, why’d you have to do that? Gah!’ And she made some stupid a** excuse like ‘that’s just how I am, you know that!’ And the meal continued like she’s not the raging psychopath she obviously is.”

“RUN.” – passivelyrepressed

Cambridge_Comma chimed in again with their input and cut the young man some slack.

“This seems OTT. She’s met his mother once. Mother acted a damn fool. Boyfriend appropriately acted mortified, apologized, and talked to his mother.”

“Until she has another interaction with the mom, this is harsh. We shouldn’t be punishing an 18 year old guy for having a sh**ty mother when it sounds like he was trying to do the right thing. If nothing changes, then sure, reevaluate.”

“NTA, but boy howdy was Boyfriend’s Mom a major one. If that conversation didn’t set of Klaxon Red Alert Alarms in your head, than I’m not sure what will, because this woman needs to be avoided like a mixture of [the virus] & the Bubonic plague.”

“If you try to stick with your BF, she’s going to try & control every single aspect of your relationship, and it is not worth it.”

“Run. Run away. Right now.” – bored-now

Redditors were unanimous in their judgment that the mama bear was out of line and rude.

The OP has not updated to say if there was a follow-up dinner with his family.

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Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a New York-based actor and writer. Originally hailing from Los Angeles, he received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese. Disney parks are his passion, and endless cups of coffee are a necessity. Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1