Weddings can really rub people the wrong way and get under their skin.
Redditor Wonderful-Target3072 unfortunately found this out the hard way when she was attending her friend’s wedding.
An incident with the bride caused her to take to subReddit “am I the a**hole?” (AITA) to ask,
“AITA for leaving my “friends” wedding when she told me I needed to cover up my psoriasis?”
The original poster (OP) went on to tell her story.
“I [24-year-old Female] have psoriasis, it’s all over my body and presents like vitiligo in a way, just so you can get an image in your head.”
“I have medicated cream that helps with the itchiness, and also it helps with the dryness.”
“The psoriasis is all over my body with it stopping right on my neck, and I do have a few spots on the sides of my face near my ears.”
“I’ve always been pretty embarrassed as I cannot cake on enough makeup to truly cover my psoriasis as it is textured and thick, and on top of that, no matter what I do or however I attempt to apply said makeup it always looks horrible, my doctor also recommended not to smother the areas with makeup as it tends to make it worse and itchier.”
“Anyways, onto the story. My friend’s wedding was on Saturday and of course, I was invited.”
“I bought a dress that would cover my body fairly well as I really didn’t want to draw any attention to myself.”
“The entire week leading up to the wedding I was continuously testing concealers on the remaining spots that were exposed, which only made me itchy and I basically scratched my skin raw.”
“With psoriasis, those areas sometimes bleed if I scratch too much, which is what happened.”
“My boyfriend who was attending the wedding with me told me I shouldn’t worry about it and that it would be better if I stopped trying to cover them as it was just making it worse.”
“I reluctantly agreed, and we attended the wedding ceremony.”
“It was great, I was extremely happy for my friend and her now husband.”
“But as we were leaving to go to cocktail hour, she pulled me aside and asked if I was going home to cover my psoriasis.”
“I was a little taken aback and explained I couldn’t as the entire week I had been testing concealers and it made it 20 times worse.”
“She told me she didn’t care and that this was her wedding and she didn’t want her guests asking me questions or feeling queasy during dinner.”
“My boyfriend stepped in and told her if that was the case we would be leaving and not attending the rest of the wedding.”
“She was pissed off and extremely angry at that choice, and ever since then she’s been ranting to our friends about it.”
“AITA here?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided she was not at all the a**hole.
“NTA and honestly that would be the end of friendship for me.” – ed_lv
“NTA.”
“That would be the day our friendship ended and her blocked on everything, don’t want her to be “queasy” from having to see the psoriasis.”
“Also any friends that agree with her, are no longer mutual friends either.” – Kassy_XOXO
“NTA it’s not like you deliberately dyed your hair fluorescent pink, it’s a disease and there isn’t a lot you can do about it.”
“Did she ask if the people on wheel chairs would be covering their chairs since she didn’t want anyone asking question about it?”
“Brides are going too far these days! 🤦🏻♀️”– Lost_Special_9357
“NTA – I have eczema which can be pretty severe at times.”
”If someone told me to cover it up because it made them queasy I’d said thank god you said that, your face is making me queasy so can you cover that up since we’re being honest?”
“And that would be the end of our friendship.”
“Your BF sounds like a keeper. Keep doing you OP, you rock.” – ProfessorStrawbs
“NTA. And you should’ve grabbed your wedding gift and taken it back with you on your way out.” – someperson717
“NTA. Nice fella you have there it sounds like.”
“No need for drama at someone else’s wedding, and neither is there any need to stay where you aren’t welcome.”
“This friendship sounds like its a lot of work on your behalf to manage her acceptance. Good riddance.” – Phililoquay
“NTA. She’s a raging AH.”
“‘Oh I’m so sorry that the skin condition I live with 24/7/365 might pull a single iota of attention from you on your wedding day.’”
“‘Let me go put makeup on my skin, irritating it so it will BLEED later.’”
“Long answer short: you don’t get to ask anyone to bleed for your wedding.”
“That is not in the same galaxy as a reasonable request.” – etds3
“NTA. Your “friend” is not your friend.”
“My friend with psoriasis came to my wedding and no one had a god*mn thing to say about [it] and my husband I were just happy he was there to share in our celebration.”
“Cut that dead weight out and f*ck anyone who is so concerned with the superficial that they would rather hurt someone they claim to care about than just love and accept them just the way they are.” – Otherwise_Gear_9023
“NTA! That was insulting and rude. This is NOT a friend.”
“While I don’t normally believe in putting someone on blast…you have every right to tell your friends what REALLY happened. Hell, for this I might even post it to FB.” – MbMinx
“Nope.”
“As a full body psoriasis sufferer myself it not only is itchy, it’s sore, uncomfortable, throbbing, embarrassing, depressing, messy and just outright sh*te.”
“The last thing that you want to do, or anyone with an iota of compassion and caring would do is expect you to make a bad condition worse.”
“Well done for looking after your physical and mental health first and your BF is a dude.”
“Good decision. Also, if you can get onto a biologic, I’m not sure what country you’re in, it is incredibly effective.”
“Look after yourself, you don’t need people in your life that make it harder.” – Openmindedoldman
“NTA. You don’t have to remain somewhere where the host is treating you like that.”
“Big props to your bf for accepting you how you are and standing up for you when your “friend” was being TA.”
“Edit: additionally, if she’s that concerned, then leaving is providing her with a solution also.”
“If she really truly doesn’t want to handle someone having a medical condition near them, then you left. Problem solved.” – Marcuse0
“NTA. I’d also rescind the gift and lose her number.”
“What a sh*t friend. The audacity to say that.”
“It’s her wedding day and instead of focusing on the love of her life and one of the most memorable days of her life being surrounded by people who love them, she decided to take the time to ask you for a moment to shit on your medical condition?”
“What the actual F?”
“She’s an AH and I hope her husband realizes what a sh*t stain of a human she is and divorces her.”
“An absolutely disgusting human with zero class. I am SO sorry this happened to you.”
“You are absolutely NTA. If I were your friend, I would have been so sad to hear you even tried on one concealer at all.”
“I would have wanted you there and would have been so appreciative you (and everyone else) were able to attend my wedding and be a part of my day.”
“I would not have been focusing on your medical condition and how it ‘ruins photos’.” – archetyping101
“NTA”
“I can understand it is her wedding, but if you can’t cover it up because of a medical condition, she should not force you.”
“Your boyfriend did the right thing to go home with you.”
“She did not want to see the spots, you accommodated the only way you could, without making your condition worse.” – PureSilverChaos
“NTA”
“She is not your friend, OP. Neither is anyone who is agreeing with her.”
“Don’t be ashamed of your body. Psoriasis can be so sore and uncomfortable, you’ve got to take care of your skin as best you can.”
“Don’t be making it worse to suit someone else’s selfish agenda.” – BeeMacca
“NTA.”
“She’s more worried about how your skin looks than your health. And well done to your boyfriend for sticking up for you! She’s not a friend, forget about her.” – Unique_Luck_817
“NTA, your boyfriend did the right thing by getting you both out of there.”
“I’m sorry you have to deal with such ignorance and lack of empathy, but you’re better off without said “friend” in your life. I pity her new family…” – cinekat
The post resonated with many fellow Redditors, so the OP went on to add an additional comment to her post:
“Wow this blew up, I am trying to read through all the comments that I missed during work, thank you all for the comments, awards and the recommendations too, it has given me a lot to consider.”
“Once again thank you all!”
Maybe the next wedding bells will be between the OP and her rockstar boyfriend.