Redditor Proof_Breakfast_2256 is a 24-year-old bride who had to modify her wedding plans to a smaller scale due to the pandemic.
Her day was further inconvenienced when she permitted a wedding guest to participate in the tradition of speeches at the last minute.
It did not go well.
When her reaction caused division within the family, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for ignoring my mother-in-law after she made an announcement at my wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I was married recently to my childhood sweetheart (Male 24). Pretty small due to [the virus] but it was planned well in advance so we didn’t cancel, just kept it to family, and we plan to have a party with everyone else at a later date.”
“For some background on my husband, his parents had him pretty young (18 and 19 respectively), and he has a very close family.”
“Our wedding reception was quite intimate, but we had the traditional speeches planned: father of the bride, best man (husband’s brother), groom.”
“It was only the day before that my mother-in-law asked if she could have the mic to say a few words when we sat down to eat, and we said that would be great, but that she would need to go before my husband.”
“Stupidly we figured she would talk about us at our wedding so we never asked what she planned to say. Big mistake 🙂 She announced that she’s expecting a baby.”
“She’s still pretty young and very healthy but it was a huge shock that just completely took over all night. What’s even worse for me is that I am also pregnant and we planned to announce it at the wedding, but I told my husband to just leave it out of his speech.”
“Everything felt a bit sour for me after that, so.”
“After the wedding I didn’t speak to my mother-in-law for a few days and I got a call from her sister (a guest) to ask what was up. I explained that I felt like the attention was taken away from us without our permission (I would have said no, but still) and it was so unfair to spring that on us.”
“Apparently I ruined my own wedding because I was obviously pissed off about the good news and that I was being ‘totally selfish’. Maybe I was, but it was my wedding day that was already ruined by a pandemic!”
“Husband is on my side though clearly feels a bit uncomfortable telling his mum that, which I get as I don’t want to have this argument directly with a pregnant woman either.”
“The rest of the family is split down the middle (my side and his) because it was such a close family event anyway and ‘we all need some happiness’. Now I’m starting to wonder if I overreacted and spoilt everything.”
“Am I the a**hole?”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors weighed in with their not the a**hole judgments.
“NTA. just because your MIL is pregnant doesn’t mean she isn’t an a**hole.”
“Everyone knows that announcing pregnancy/engagement or anything else significant is totally taboo at a wedding. This was not an oversight. You should have continued to announce your own baby news anyway (that would have diluted her news).”
“Congratulations on your wedding and your baby news.” – Maximoose-777