Besides the bride’s dress, there is more than one perfect dress to pick for a wedding.
What will the bridal party where?
Over the years, many people have been stuck in dresses that were not flattering.
Okay, let’s be honest. Some are downright hideous.
So many brides now give options for personal style and comfort.
But some can take that liberty a little too far.
Case in point…
Redditor benicenotstupid wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my sister to change her dress, wear underwear or she is not welcome to my wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I am 26 F[emale], my sister is two years older than me.”
“My fiance is 30 M[ale].”
“We were raised in a liberal home where we were allowed to wear anything or nothing at home.”
“My sister has always dressed very skimpily, and I didn’t mind because I was used to it at home.”
“But this time I am feeling a type of way because my wedding will be in February 2024, and my sister, who is also one of the bridesmaids, has shown me what she intends to wear.”
“I was shocked, to say the least.”
“The dress shows clearly that she’s not wearing a bra or panties because it has a slit up to her waist, and her back and chest are barely covered.”
“I’m uncomfortable with her being around other people, especially my fiance and his family looking like that.”
“My parents see nothing wrong with her outfit.”
“I told her if she doesn’t find a different, more decent dress, then she is no longer one of the bridesmaids, and she’s not invited to my wedding anymore.”
“She feels that I’m being unfair since I have no right to control what people wear and I also let all the other bridesmaids choose whatever design they wanted as long as they stuck to the colors I gave.”
“Her chosen color sticks to the color scheme, and that’s okay, but the design makes me feel it’s not appropriate.”
“I don’t want my sister flashing my guests, but she called me an AH when I disinvited her.”
“Now she and my parents are not talking to me.”
“My fiance said he had no opinion on it and would go with what I decided.”
“Here is a link to show a similar dress: https://images.app.goo.gl/vfAWq58NR8cUTtWa6″
The OP was left to wonder,
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Annnd this is just one reason why people elope.”
“OP, put your foot down that your sister will not be dressing like she is going to an MTV music awards show. She will not be in your wedding.”
“Because you are the damn bride, and in this case, you can control what your bridal party- and even guests-wear.”
“Even if your parents aren’t talking to you (or don’t even attend), you can still get married.”
“And your sister can be disinvited if she doesn’t behave. NTA.” ~ YouthNAsia63
“Exactly. Being asked to adhere to a dress code for one day on one of the most important days in your sibling’s life isn’t a difficult task, and following it is the considerate thing to do.” ~ Heavy_Sand5228
“This is what is really upsetting me.”
“One day that just isn’t about you, effing deal with it and put yer tits away.”
“The insecurity is so gross and that the parents don’t see the attention-seeking as an issue and want to put it on the bride wanting control is making me angry.”
“Also, the bride can control her little piece of theatre within reason.”
“Not looking like you’re going to a club is well within reason.”
“This is OP’s wedding, not the sister’s validation event.” ~ WubFox
“Isn’t it kind of one of the duties of a bridesmaid-support and help the bride, not cause problems and turn their parents against her?”
“Her sister seems to think she’s an equal costar in this shindig.”
“Really, she does not understand the assignment.”
“Kick her out of the party. NTA.” ~ Appropriate-Dig771
“Yikes! I’m the first person to call out a bride for trying to impose a ‘dress code’ on their guests.”
“But with that comes an assumption that people aren’t A-Hs.”
“OP, NTA but your sister and parents are.”
“This is a hill I would die on.”
“P.S. I think giving your attendants free rein on their dress within the color range is a great way to go but with the caveat that you have to approve the final design.” ~ Longjumping-Lab-1916
“At most weddings, the attention would not be positive, but derisive.”
“NTA, OP, for realizing that dress is all wrong for the wedding you are having.”
“Your parents are wrong.”
“A wedding party is one of the rare situations where you do get to decide what people wear, as long as you are not being arbitrary or capricious.”
“But I wonder, if having your sister in the wedding party was important, whether you handled this the best way.”
“It sounds like you led off with an aggressive ultimatum.”
“Maybe nothing would have gotten your sister to see things reasonably.”
“But you could have started with ‘Whoa, that’s an eye-catcher for sure and would be great at the reception, but we need something a little more traditional for the ceremony itself. Let’s go shopping on Saturday!'”
“If she then wears it to the reception, just let things work out how they’re gonna work out.”
“She’s just embarrassing herself with that thing.”
“As the host, you certainly can’t embarrass any guest, but it would be a shame if some uncouth guest yelled out, ‘This isn’t the bachelor party, it’s the wedding reception; who let the stripper in here!?'” ~ Curious-One4595
“My sister-in-law had a friend when she was in her early twenties whose shtick was to dress skimpily and then pretend she didn’t realize she had dressed so skimpily.”
“She was asking everyone questions like ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me this dress was so short?’ or ‘I didn’t realize my cheeks would be coming out of these shorts.'”
“I don’t remember that girl’s name, but we just refer to her as ‘that girl who always had her clam out’ when we reminisce about her antics.”
“OP’s sister’s ‘clam out’ antics will surely not be forgotten either.” ~ MillionPtsofLight
“NTA, She has the right to wear what she wants, but then OP has the right to disinvite her if it is not in her comfort zone.”
“It’s her wedding after all, and it is only for one day as well and avoid unnecessary drama and stress.”
“Even the US Senate barred Fetterman from wearing his clothes on the Senate Floor.” ~ abstractengineer2000
“Oh, for crying out loud.”
“Dress codes exist everywhere in life, and yes, the host of an event can set the dress code.”
“Does she not have to work for a living? NTA.”
“Not only can the host set a dress code, but a bridesmaid is required to wear the dress that the bride selects!” ~ HappySummerBreeze
“Oh for… sakes. NTA.”
“How does she not understand what inappropriate is at 30?”
“Just because your parents won’t mind doesn’t mean the rest of your guests won’t.”
“What happens when a granny on your husband’s side of the family catches a glimpse of this?”
“Look, someone here needs to be an adult.”
“Since your sister can’t do it and your parents aren’t willing for this matter, you’re going to have to be the one who puts up boundaries for the good of both you and your guests.” ~ snapcrklpop
“Has your sister always been a ‘pick me’ girl?”
“This number just screams, ‘I want to be the center of attention at my own sister’s wedding!'”
“OP, this is extremely disrespectful towards YOU.”
“She’s not dumb or ‘liberal’- she knows the reaction THAT dress will get, and she wants that attention, even at your wedding.”
“Shame on your parents, too, they should know better and they’re enabling this.”
“For reference, I’m a socialist (i.e. very liberal), and I know some pretty wild people, and even they know how to dress appropriately at special occasions that aren’t about them.” ~ serenerepose
“She is going to walk down the aisle at the beginning of the wedding as a bridesmaid.”
“And so, the ENTIRE WEDDING WILL SEE YOUR SISTER’S VAGINA!!”
“And while she’s at the front of the church, they will see her nipples and side boob and be thinking about the fact they saw her vagina.”
“And in your wedding pictures, you will see your sister’s vagina.”
“It is your wedding.”
“And you and your husband deserve to be the center of attention.”
“This isn’t about being sex-positive or body-shaming.”
“If your sister wears that dress, and it’s as you describe, your guests will spend more of your day gawking and gossiping about your sister, than even thinking about you.”
“Because I don’t care how much I love the bride if I can see her sister’s labia during the ceremony, that is 100% what’s in my brain the rest of the day.”
“And I would be furious on your behalf.'” ~ Lopsided_Intention57
“NTA. Sister’s dress sounds inappropriate (or at minimum stylistically clashing) for the occasion.”
“Especially for someone in the party.”
“I don’t think OP is being unreasonable here, but sister and parents sure are.” ~ ABeerAndABook
“It’s her sister’s wedding she’s a bridesmaid I can’t believe she thought a revealing dress was appropriate.”
“She’s old enough to know better NTA.” ~ Mmoct
“NTA. That dress is totally inappropriate for your wedding.”
“This is also incredibly attention-seeking, and she’s not the main character at your wedding.”
“She should choose something else.” ~ Living-Assumption272
“Opened the link OP included expecting to find a subjectively controversial dress, perhaps a ball gown with a high split or suchlike, and laughed out loud.”
“What the hell?!”
“The dress could not be less appropriate for a wedding, no matter the vibe. NTA.” ~ spy-on-me
“Me too, exactly this. It is so ridiculously inappropriate — I am still laughing.”
“Your sister and parents are so out of line. NTA.” ~ Bubbly_Rutabaga_8192
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Your wedding, your rules.
There are plenty of other creative options to choose from in your color scheme.
Maybe the two of you can sit down together and find a few choices that suit everyone’s comfort.
Otherwise, don’t be afraid to stand up for your special day.
Good luck and congratulations.