Today’s episode of “Bridezilla or not?” is brought to you by the bride’s teenage sister, Redditor Background_Boat_4498.
The Original Poster (OP) became bald at age 10, and now at age 17 is just now becoming comfortable with rocking her bald head.
Because of her newfound confidence, the OP politely declined her sister’s request to wear a wig at the wedding.
Instead of being supportive of her sister, the bride called the OP “unreasonable”.
This has the OP turning to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) for feedback.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to wear a wig to my sister’s wedding?”
She went on to explain:
“When I was 10 years old, I [17-year-old Female] lost all my hair and have been bald ever since. It bothered me a lot at first so I would always wear wigs to hide my baldness.”
“Since about a year I’ve kind of come to accept it, and now I even think I can look pretty cute even without wearing a wig…”
“…so I started wearings wigs less and less, and since about three months ago I stopped wearing them completely.”
“Now my older sister [24-year-old Female] is getting married in a few weeks, and she asked me if I would wear a wig to her wedding.”
“I said I wouldn’t, and she asked me again to do it for her, because it’s just a small effort on my part.”
“I refused again because I finally got comfortable with my appearance, and I don’t want to hide it anymore.”
“She told me I’m being unreasonable because it’s such a small thing to do for her wedding day and walked off.”
“Now my parents are also trying to convince me to just do this one little thing for my sister on her special day to make her happy, but it feels like everyone is just trying to hide that I’m bald.”
“I’d understand her point if I had never gone anywhere without a wig before and this would be the first time everyone saw me without a wig, but everyone has already seen me without a wig.”
“Everyone already knows I’m bald, so there wouldn’t be any attention stealing.”
“AITA for refusing to honour my sister’s request about wearing a wig?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA.”
“I’m getting married this year and one of my friends has missed out on so many wedding parties because they look different and ‘don’t fit the aesthetic.’”
“When I asked them, I specifically said I want them exactly as they are.”
“Because I love them exactly as they are, and the whole point of asking them is that I want the people I love to stand up there with me.”
“Your baldness is part of what makes you YOU.”
“A bride’s requests stops at attire, and even then that’s limited. It does not extend to the existence or color of your hair. Or tattoos.”
“Or to requiring people to dress contrary to their gender identity. Or suggesting dresses contrary to individual religious belief.”
“If one of those things bothers you, don’t ask the person to be in your wedding party, sister or not.”
“TBH I would counter with, I’m going as Me or I’m going as a guest. Let me know which you would prefer.”
“And hold that line. Worst case scenario you don’t have the pressure of standing up with everyone.”
“ETA: and if you’re starting as a guest, that’s an even stronger WTF request on your sister’s part. NTA. Hold your ground. Go as you or not at all.” – NeverSayBoho
“NTA”
“Tell her something like this:”
“‘I finally grew comfortable in my own skin, with my head and I think I’m beautiful, just the way I am.’”
“‘Are you saying that you think I’m not, or are you saying that you believe that people can’t see around it.’”
“‘I get that it’s your wedding, but are you really thinking that some people are so shallow that they would not see you? Do you really think so little about others?’” – RemoteBroccoli
“‘Dad/ Uncle John/ Gramps doesn’t have hair. Do they have to wear a wig? Or is it just because I’m a girl?’”
“NTA, you do you :)” – StrictlyMarzipanOwl
It’s always ‘just a little thing’ for these people until someone says ‘no’.”
“Then suddenly it’s a REALLY REALLY REALLY BIG THING WHY DO YOU HATE ME I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY ON MY DAY…”
“…AND YES MY HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON YOU BEING UNHAPPY, SO WHAT?, but also remember it’s just a little thing, why are you being so irrational and mean?”
“NTA. Your sister is gross.” – dremetrius
“NTA. Your sister is and so are your parents for trying to convince you to wear a wig.”
“Your sister evidently doesn’t care about your comfort and yet again it’s all about the photos and wedding aesthetic.”
“I’m glad you no longer feel conscious to the point you feel you need to wear a wig – keep firm and refuse to do so if you don’t want to.” – LittlePea0617
“I’d probs be petty and wear one of those brightly coloured 80s spiky comedy wigs.”
“Wear the most hideous wig you can find on the day and then be like ‘it’s the only one I have – it’s this or nothing’.” – ShutUpMorrisseyffs
“Absolutely NTA. I have a daughter in her early teens who has developed alopecia. At the moment she is covering her head.”
“If or when she decides to show her balding head, I will be supporting her all the way. And if any relative asked her to wear a wig for an event? I’d be cutting them off.” – Green_Aide_9329
“NTA – it’s incredibly insulting. If you had lost an arm, would she want to photoshop one into the pictures?”
“It’s absolutely beautiful that you have accepted yourself. I imagine it has been powerfully freeing for you! And she wants you to go back to hiding and feeling not good enough as you are??”
“She and your parents should feel ashamed of themselves, it’s abhorrent.” – Living-Highlight7777
‘NTA. I’m a bald woman, too. 52 years old, started losing all of my hair in my 20’s, and have only recently come to terms with it and started going out without a wig.”
“Society puts such ridiculous value on women having beautiful hair that it’s treated like some deformity when we have none.”
“It’s amazing and wonderful that, at 17, you are brave and bold enough to be yourself, and embrace your own kind of beauty.”
“It’s petty and offensive that your family wants you to hide yourself for any reason at all. Your sister has no right to ask this of you.”
“I hope your life goes wonderfully in the future, and is filled with people who not only accept your uniqueness, but treasure it, and appreciate your strength.” – frejawolf
“NTA – If your dad or other male family member were bald, would she insist on a toupee? I doubt it. Not only rude, but sexist.”
“If it means so much, the wig can attend the wedding in your place.” – SilverDarner
“NTA, and I think it’s pretty mean of her to insist. You got to a place of self-acceptance, it sounds like this was a long journey for you, so it’s huge really, and it sucks that your family is disregarding that.”
“It’s not a ‘little thing’.” – cheesy_bees
“Had she asked you to wear a dress with sequins instead of a plain dress or something to that effect it maybe a different answer…”
“…but it comes across like she wants to hide the fact you’re bald as if it were embarrassing for her in some way. I also would stand my ground out of principle, so NTA for me.” – MasRemlap
“NTA at all. Your sister is telling you that your appearance is unacceptable-whats she going to do next? Insist all bridesmaids lose weight to a dress size 4?”
“Sack any bridesmaids that are too tall or too short? Demand laser eradication for bridesmaids with visible body art?”
“She’s being cruel and offensive, she’s saying you don’t have the right look to be in the wedding party…”
“…and she’s more concerned with superficial appearances rather than having her loved ones celebrating with her. You aren’t TH, but she most definitely is.” – chubalubs
“NTA – I think it is unfair of her to insist and for your family to ask you to just do it. You are bald, you have accepted that and it sounds like its been a journey for you.”
“I don’t even understand why she is asking this to be honest…what difference does it make to her.”
“You are her sister and this is how you look – I wouldn’t want my sister being anything other than comfortable at my wedding!” – deathandtaxes2023
“NTA”
“This is not a little thing, they are trying to cover up their own embarrassment.”
“As you say everyone that will be there has seen you and knows you are bald you are comfortable with your image, you need to be you.” – Successful_Bath1200
Verdict: we have a Bridezilla, folks!