Planning a wedding is full of decisions, stress, and excitement for the happy couple-to-be and the wedding party, but sometimes the bride or groom loses sight of what is the most important during this momentous time.
Aesthetics, while important, should not come before the comfort of the bride’s wedding party, for instance.
It should hardly be the bride’s goal to see her loved ones freeze during the celebration, considered the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Due-Resolve4835 was starting to dread her friend’s wedding, for which she was supposed to be a bridesmaid because the bride didn’t want them to wear winter coats despite being outside for her winter wedding.
When it was confirmed the wedding would take place in sub-zero temperatures, the Original Poster (OP) was considering dropping out.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for asking to wear a coat in sub-zero temperatures at a wedding?”
The OP was starting to dread the weather for her friend’s wedding.
“I’ve been asked by a close friend to be a bridesmaid for her wedding. We’ve been friends for years and she’s usually fairly calm.”
“But the wedding is this weekend. It is in the rural north of England and the temperatures are set to be -4 (degrees centigrade) with highs of 1 degree.”
“This is COLD, and we are wearing thin, viscose dresses and open-toe sandal-style shoes.”
But the bride’s aesthetic requirements made the situation worse.
“We’ve been told we are absolutely NOT allowed to wear coats throughout the whole day since it will ‘ruin the photos.'”
“I’m genuinely dreading this wedding now since I am quite thin and feel the cold horribly. I also am worried about my health!”
“When I asked about alternative plans due to the super cold weather, she just basically told us all to lump in.”
“She even kicked up a fuss at the thought of wearing thermal leggings.”
The OP didn’t know what to do.
“Help. AITA for causing drama this close to her wedding? Will the photos be ruined?”
“All the other bridesmaids were very silent on the WhatsApp group so that wasn’t very helpful either!”
Some could not believe the bride thought this was a good idea.
“My wedding is in two weeks in Northern England and I couldn’t even fathom an outdoor wedding. Never occurred to me.”
“I’ve got a lovely thick cape to wear (satin with faux fur trim and hood) for outdoor photos and No bridal party but if I had one I’d definitely get them faux fur jackets or something.”
“Absolute insanity expecting people to stand freezing their actual tits off in sub-zero temps just for your aesthetic vision.” – Aurora_1702
“If I were to have a wedding in December, I would plan around the weather and have a beautiful winter theme and winter-appropriate wedding. And I also most likely would have an indoor wedding.”
“If the bride wants a summer wedding, she should get married in the summer.” – Dramatic-But-Aware
“The friend is acting like a Bridezilla. If her photos are really worth more than the people at her wedding, you might need to rethink your relationship, OP.”
“These demands are ridiculous and unreasonable, and they are putting people at risk. Bring a coat, scarf, and different shoes. And maybe bring extra pairs in case the other bridesmaids don’t. It is dangerous.”
“And if she’s really that insistent on the clothes, then tell her you’ll have to drop out. NTA.” – MarzipanBlue
“Does Ms. Bridezilla not realize coats, etc., can be taken OFF when it’s photo time? That’s how it’s done in the modeling world where they often do summer clothing shoots in winter (I did gofer work on some catalog shoots many years ago so have seen it in action).”
“Also, she should have taken the opportunity to get some cool fluffy hooded coats with those fluffy white hand muffs that look so awesome on Christmas cards as part of her theme.” – Jay-Dee-British
“NTA. Hypothermia is no joke. You have to put your health first, above your friend’s unrealistic expectations, selfish reasoning, and superficial desires for perfect pictures in freezing temperatures while trying to force her wedding party to suffer and risk their health.”
“If you still want to attend, I’d bring a coat, wear the leggings, and pray there will be hot beverages provided, or bring a thermos with the hot beverage of your choice.” – Educational_Exit_218
“This bride is awful. Who wants blue, shivering people in photos? This is seriously dangerous and you should reconsider attending this event.” – yramt
“NTA. Listen up, OP, my sister-in-law was in a winter wedding, and they had winter shawls/boots when they took pictures outside and this is poor planning on the bride’s part. No one can smile nicely while freezing. How did the bride not plan for nice matching shawls for the church or outside?”
“Here are my suggestions:”
“Maybe you can plan a matching shawl/lovely scarf/sheer cover to help you. Have it at the front where you will sit before the ceremony or have your plus-one put it there.”
“Bring your own nice looking bag with your boots, nice shawl, gloves, and winter jacket for pictures outside. In my SIL’s case, when they walk to the location to take pictures the ladies and my SIL took off their things (but kept the boots on). Is the dress long enough to shield this?”
“Maybe call/speak to a couple of the bridesmaids separately to see what they are planning. But you bring something otherwise they will accuse you of wrecking the pictures by looking frozen and unable to smile.”
“When you walk out of the church (and before you get in the vehicle), have your plus-one meet you with your bag/winter jacket, etc, or say you will drive yourself.”
“I know this is stressful as the bride has left you to fend for yourselves (which is very stupid and poor planning). So please have a plan A, a contingency plan, and definitely bring warm clothing for yourself no matter what anyone says.”
“If anyone gives you heck, practice this line: ‘I wanted to ensure your day and your pictures would be fantastic, and given that I am prone to cold, I would not be able to smile for the pictures or perform my bridesmaid duties if I am freezing.'”
“The shorter version is: ‘I’m not Elsa, and the d**n cold does bother me always.'”
“Good luck OP!” – Mandaloriana_2022
Others considered the “amazing” photos the bride would end up with.
“Oh, but just think of the picture opportunities!”
“The arrival of the ambulance, the fashionable warming blankets, and the delightful wail of the ambulance as it takes away most of the female members of the bridal party…”
“Yeah, NTA and a coldly delivered verdict of TA to the bride!” – Downtown_Evidence_46
“Annnnnddd, you might want to point out that people who are cold tend to have runny noses, which then get red and shiny from being wiped.”
“NTA. And your friend is acting unhinged.” – AccomplishedPhone342
“The photos will look horrible if everyone is freezing. It’ll be runny noses, shivering, red skin, and uncomfortable poses.” – ughwhyusernames
“Their lips can be the bride’s something blue.” – Interesting_Try5190
“I’m guessing Ms. Bridezilla is thinking about candid photos and not just posed ones. But I mean, are the guests also not supposed to be wearing coats either?”
“I really can’t wrap my brain around this ‘Let’s have a wedding in freezing weather but pretend it’s not freezing’ mindset of hers.” – Born_Ad8420
“NTA. A frozen corpse will also ruin the photos.”
“And since when are weddings more about the photos than the marriage or the day itself? I feel like her priorities are amiss.” – Silver_Advantage8576
“I did family photos in November one year. It was a pretty cold day, and we did the pictures without coats (but everyone was wearing warm plaid jackets).”
“You can see my oldest shivering in some of them (we cut the session short). I look at the pictures now, and all I can see is how cold he was, and I feel so guilty.” – Agitated_Pin2169
After receiving feedback, the OP shared a brief update.
“Aw, thanks, everyone. Well, at least lots of people think I’m NTA!!!I”
“will pack my emergency bag with shoes, socks, and a scarf. I have my hand warmers and thermal leggings, and the leggings have since been allowed.”
“And I will signal to my partner when I need to be rescued.”
“All the comments about corned beef and blue lips made me laugh too! It’s not going to be a good look and I hope she sees sense.”
The OP’s fellow Redditors were left shaking their hands and bundling up at the thought of attending this chilling wedding.
The bride clearly needed a reminder of what her special day was actually being planned to celebrate, and then maybe she’d be able to remember what was the most important on her wedding day: her love and future life with her partner, and celebrating this special day with the people she loved most.
Not turning them into life-sized ice pops.