Sometimes it’s best to keep the sentences and thoughts that run through our minds; in our minds.
Not everyone wants to know what another person is thinking about certain topics.
When people react to other’s honest thoughts it can lead to some drama and chaos.
Case in point…
Redditor Ash-569075 to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for my response to my sister’s boyfriend’s ‘brutal honesty?'”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My F[emale] 35 sister F 27 started dating one of those ‘brutally honest’ guys a few months ago.”
“He can be quite rude and make backhanded comments about me and the family sometimes, which is bothersome.”
“But my sister says he’s not malicious but is just the brutally honest time and we should get used to it.”
“I visited my parents house to celebrate my sister’s birthday and my husband couldn’t come with me because he was busy.”
“After the party we all sat down for dinner and my sister’s boyfriend said it was weird that my husband and I don’t have kids despite being married for 6 years now.”
“I was shocked that he brought this up but I gave a short answer stating that it’s because of infertility issues.”
“He asked on which side and I didn’t wanna answer but my sister said it’s on my side.”
“I got uncomfortable as he looked at me for a second and said that maybe not having kids now is a good thing.”
“Because he thought women over 30 might ‘produce’ defective babies due to age.”
“I told him it was none of his business but he said that he was just giving his ‘honest opinion’ and that’s all.”
“I, in return, told him while maintaining eye contact: ‘trust me, if I wanted an asshole’s opinion, I would’ve farted!'”
“Literally everyone at the table bursted into laughter and my sister and her boyfriend were stunned.”
“Few seconds later her boyfriend excused himself out and my sister followed then sent me a text after they left saying I was mean and disrespectful towards her boyfriend and insulted him maliciously.”
“Just because he stated his honest opinion.”
“She also said I ruined her birthday by being petty and making her boyfriend the joke of the night in front of the family.”
“I didn’t respond but she demanded an apology via mail as soon as possible.”
“My mom agreed that I shouldn’t have said what I said and should’ve just ignored him knowing how he is.”
“I think AITA but I’m not sure.”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Repeat after me…”
“He should’ve just ignored me. He knows what I’m like. I’m older than him; I can’t change now. I am who I am. I was just being honest. Seriously, that’s my opinion of his conversation.”
“What’s that? Those excuses are toxic bulls**t, mum? Cool cool.”
“Good to know you won’t be putting up with anyone’s crap from now on. NTA.” ~ Rowanever
“’You know how he/she is’ is the biggest cop out response for those people who everyone knows is a rude bully.”
“If everyone called those kind of people on their bullshit instead of tolerating it, either they would realize they’re inappropriate a**holes.”
“Or they would at least be on notice that people disagree with them.”
“Yeah, it’s easier to say nothing, but why suffer a**holes?” ~ PrincessTroubleshoot
“’Brutal honestly’ is a defensive term for insensitivity.”
“Uncouth, insensitive comments — particularly in mixed company — should not be excused as ‘honesty.'”
“A filter is important in social situations.”
“That’s how adults behave.”
“NTA OP. You matched uncouth with uncouth.” ~ UrsusRenata
“I like to throw s**t around supermarkets for fun.”
“I go up to small children look them in the eye and insult their appearance in great detail.”
“I take it upon myself to borrow old people’s financial information to take out loans for ‘me time.'”
“Often I decide to drive on the wrong side of the road.”
“Shrugs IGNORE ME, IT’S JUST HOW I AM!!” ~ gigantesghastly
“NTA. Brutally honest is a synonym for a**hole.”
“‘Brutally’ is not a nice adjective, it means savage and violent way.”
“If he identifies himself by that, that says a lot about him.”
“Also, I’m surprised he is offended at being called an a**hole, considering that what he said is the equivalent to verbal diarrhea.” ~ Slow-Bumblebee-8609
“As I’ve said here before, it’s strange how these brutally honest people are never ‘brutally honest’ about how good your new hairstyle is, or how flattering your new glasses are, etc.”
“No they’re always ‘brutally honest’ about something bad.”
“Could it be that ‘brutally honest’ is a synonym for ‘how to say you’re an AH without saying you’re an AH?'” ~ bofh
“It’s the satisfaction in the face afterwards, that nice shot look, that gives it away.”
“There’s no innocence here, it’s calculated.”
“We know this guy. NTA!, and an awesome comeback.”
“He probably only went after OP like that because her husband wasn’t there, so he’s a coward too.” ~ JonesinforJonesey
“It’s funny how the original party who started the bulls**t never has to backtrack but it’s the responsibility of the offended party to have grace and not respond to make things easier for everybody?”
“No, I’m so glad you called him out on it, this is beyond.”
“It’s like going up to a fat person and calling them fat.”
“Just… why? It’s mean hearted, deliberately cruel, and unnecessary.”
“Also, your sister is more the AH than some random jerk.” ~ Powerful_Mixtape
“Every shade of honesty has its place.”
“But brutal honesty is best equipped as punctuation against those who are brutally escaping reality, not for pleasant conversation.”
“It’s like dropping a heavy and loud item to emphasize importance.”
“And using it as your go-to idea to base your personality around is an idea best dropped like its hot.”
“The absolute lack of self awareness that her boyfriend excretes is infuriating.”
“But I’m oh so glad to see that an adult who has raised children to adulthood (the mom) fell so quickly behind this display.”
“I left my /s at home for use with the word glad.” ~ Ishouldnt_haveposted
“’Brutal honestly’ is a defensive term for insensitivity.”
“Uncouth, insensitive comments — particularly in mixed company — should not be excused as ‘honesty.'”
“A filter is important in social situations.”
“That’s how adults behave.”
“NTA OP. You matched uncouth with uncouth.” ~ UrsusRenata
“I literally cannot stand people like this. ‘Brutally honest.'”
“It’s just freaking rude.”
“Nobody asked for his opinion literally.”
“I also find it completely unacceptable that the sister decided to talk about her sister’s fertility and who is having the issues.”
“NTA your response was hilarious.” ~ Typical-Garlic-7308
“It feels like OP’s sister is picking up ‘brutal honesty’ from her BF.”
“And if she was willing to divulge details that OP shut down, shutting down the original question would probably have got the sister giving the whole story anyway.”
“NTA, OP.”
“The response you gave is the only way to shut that breed of ‘being an a**hole is fine if you rebrand it as brutal honesty’ down.”
“And as to your mother?”
“The words, ‘She taught you manners; she didn’t teach you to get walked all over’ come to mind.” ~ Thess514
“OP would be an asshole if she stared her sister down and said ‘Oh wow, I hope your boyfriend doesn’t think you’re defective if you decide to have kids after 30, because you’re getting pretty close!'”
“‘Hope infertility doesn’t run in the family! Just being brutally honest!'”
“Because it seems like bf thinks being an a**hole is the same as being ‘brutally honest.'”
“Also OP’s sister literally outed her infertility issues????”
“So f**king rude, insensitive, and a blatant disregard of privacy.”
“I honestly hate people like this especially when they dish it but can’t take it.”
“Shutting them down forever is doing a kindness for yourself lol, and I don’t care if their feelings get hurt.”
“They clearly don’t regard mine with the same respect and I’ve been walked over enough times in my life.”
“So now I treat people the way they want to be treated, not how I want to be treated.” ~ videogamekat
“Him getting up from the table and not firing back with more ammo let’s me know that he really doesn’t understand that he’s an a**hole.”
“And that people have been allowing him to be this way for some time.”
“Regardless, that’s not OP’s problem, I would not apologize.”
“I would double down and tell him and my sister that he has to stop.”
“And that if he doesn’t, I will continue to roast his a** and make him equally uncomfortable as the people he is being ‘brutally honest with.'” ~ Eeblirpa
Well OP, Reddit is behind you.
Your “brutal honesty” seems to be a hit.
Some people really need an education in truth, insults and honesty.
It maybe time for a serious sit down with your sister.
Good luck.