It seems like food issues have gotten out of control lately, owing to taste and other factors.
We’re not talking about allergies or intolerances.
We’re talking about people who are very particular when they dine out.
Everybody likes to substitute this and take away that.
So how do picky eaters and adventerous eaters navigate this minefield?
Case in point…
Redditor pokemonkandy wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for publicly scolding my b[oy]f[riend]’s picky eating?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Context: my (F[emale] 27) boyfriend ‘Chris’ (M[ale] 29) is the absolute pickiest eater I have ever met.”
“No, he doesn’t have food allergies.”
“No, he has no intolerances.”
“He’s just picky.”
“I don’t blame him for that; his mom didn’t know how to cook a whole lot, so Chris’ palette adjusted to it.”
“Since we’ve been together, though, we have worked on cooking dinners with one another to try and find things with ingredients he’ll enjoy that may be outside his comfort zone.”
“Anyway, last night, my parents said that they would love to go to dinner with Chris and me.”
“My parents live in another part of the state, and I don’t see them often, so I ran it by Chris, and we made plans.”
“The restaurant was a new seafood place that opened close to where we live.”
“Since I knew how picky Chris can be, I asked him to look over the menu before we went so that we could make sure there would be something there that he’d eat.”
“He told me he looked it over and would have the salmon.”
“Fast forward to this evening, when we all sat down to eat, and he made a disgusted face looking at the menu.”
“I asked what was wrong, and he told me there’s nothing he’d eat.”
‘My parents looked a bit hurt, so I pulled Chris aside and said that I couldn’t believe he’d do this, that if he wouldn’t like the food he had all of yesterday and most of today to pick a different restaurant.”
“I then commented that I was just annoyed by his picky eating because now it’s hurting my parents, and left the restaurant with him (after apologizing to my parents).”
“He told me that he was in shock that I didn’t defend him and that I ‘should have known’ he would be unhappy and was being a total AH for publicly humiliating ‘what he can’t control.'”
“Quick edit about the salmon: I had asked him about that, and I guess the problem is he read the menu again and saw how it was prepared like he didn’t care for the seasoning that was going to be on the salmon.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA… because you did everything to accommodate him, but he changed his mind.”
“But why did you leave the restaurant?”
“I’d have finished the meal and made him wait.”
“Surely there were some side dishes or appetizers he could have snacked on?” ~ Holiday_Cat_7284
“NTA, stop catering to him.”
“Next time you go out with your parents or friends or whoever… go alone!”
“Tell him that you’re eating at a place without a children’s menu.”
“If he insists on going and then does the face, ask the waiter for the children’s menu or ask him to wait in the car, and he can have nuggets or Mac and cheese or whatever he eats later.”
“He could have ordered broiled or poached salmon without seasoning.”
“Any seafood restaurant could accommodate that.”
“This is manipulation.”
“I’m a picky eater – no mushrooms, onions, countless other things.”
“I can guarantee you I eat fine wherever I go!”
“One time, all I ate was papaya because everything else was ceviche, which I despise.”
“I didn’t throw a fit.”
“On top of it, you gave him the menu ahead of time!”
“Yip – manipulation.” ~ 3doxie
“Fleeing’s never a good look!”
“Seafood restaurant; could he not have fish fingers and chips off the children’s menu.”
“Or ask the kitchen to whip up an omelet.”
“Or serve the salmon without the sauce.”
“NTA, especially as he couldn’t be arsed to read the menu properly (or is he a picky reader as well?).” ~ RickJLeanPaw
“Probably that.”
“After all, if someone has a limited diet, whether that is due to allergy, intolerance, food sensory issues or other dietary restrictions, common sense says they’d thoroughly read the menu to ensure it is suitable.”
“As long as the online menu was the same as, and had the same detail/description as, the one at the restaurant, he has no excuse.” ~ Ok-Status-9627
“100% he knows he’s a picky eater.”
“OP, it’s NOT your responsibility to cater to this.”
“It’s not normal.”
“My dear friend has extreme dietary restrictions, and if it’s just her and I, we’ll lean towards restaurants that cater to her needs.”
“However, if in a group setting, she sucks it up and goes in with a game plan of how to enjoy the company of others and allow everyone to enjoy the experience.”
“She doesn’t expect anyone else to cater to her.”
“What the BF did was ridiculously childish.”
“He’s the picky one. It’s his responsibility not to ruin a night out.” ~ Inevitable_Access_15
“I also have a picky eater boyfriend who, early in our relationship, I could see may have done what your boyfriend did.”
“I eventually got mad and told him he needs to stop making his picky eating habits everyone else’s problem.”
“This wasn’t about your boyfriend’s picky eating.”
“It was about his inability to regulate his emotions about his picky eating and ruining the meal for everyone else.”
“Eating with friends and family isn’t just about the food. It’s about enjoying one another’s company.”
“No one is enjoying themselves when someone is sulking and complaining about the food options, texture, spices, or whatever.”
“It has some upsides (don’t have to share as much when it comes to food, lol), but it has way more downsides.”
“Like you, often you get cut from dinner party guest lists.”
“No one wants to cook for someone who won’t even try anything or who sits there not eating all night.”
“When you host yourself, it gets frustrating having always to make the same foods.”
“Always having to go to the same restaurants gets old if you enjoy trying new things.”
“And it’s awkward going to restaurants and being the only one eating.” ~ vicki_chicki
“Please just get out of this relationship.”
“He is a grown man who isn’t going to change.”
“There are so many people in the world that wouldn’t create an issue with their inflexibility every single time you eat.”
“Just move on and find one of them.”
“Staying in this relationship is seriously just setting yourself up for a lifetime of unnecessary problems.” ~ kricket75
“Not only that… at just about any seafood place, you can request a broiled fish without any special seasoning.”
“Most restaurants can do steamed and broiled for special diets.”
“Source: I have too many picky eaters and food sensitivity in my family.”
“Been through this too many times. NTA.”
“ETA: he should sit through the meal without complaining.”
“A little bit of manners goes a long way.”
“He’s not a child.” ~ krisdmcc
“NTA. It’s not about him being a picky eater. It’s about him using his eating habits to be the center of attention and making other people feel inferior for ‘hurting’ him by not meeting his needs.” ~ Garamon7
“NTA. Chris is a big boy. He can use his big boy words.”
“You told him to check the menu, and he said he found something to eat. You have to assume that the adult is responsible for their own choices and will speak up if something is wrong.”
“You should not have to mind read that ‘the salmon will be fine’ means ‘I’m going to make a scene at a seafood restaurant and blame you for not saving me from the evil fishes.'”
“He’s the one with a dietary ‘restriction,’ he has to speak up for himself because no one is going to do it for him.”
“Why is he making you responsible for food availability when he won’t do the absolute minimum for himself?” ~ Natural_Garbage7674
“NTA… for what you’re asking.”
“Pretty AHish to leave your parents behind and leave with him, though.”
“Why would you punish your parents for his behavior?”
“ETA I‘m a picky eater.”
“As an adult, that’s not something you make someone else’s problem.”
“As an adult, you surely don’t let your gf miss out on an evening with her parents, whom she rarely sees.” ~ RiverSong_777
OP came back with some deets…
“I’m sorry I’m not able to respond to all of your comments, but I have read them and really appreciate all your support and kind words.”
“I’m going to spend some quality time with my parents to see a movie the three of us enjoy, and Chris will not be attending.”
“A lot of these comments have really opened my eyes.”
“And I’m not sure that this is someone I would be okay to spend my life with.”
“Unfortunately, at this moment in time, Chris and I are living together and split bills 50/50 with both our names on the lease. “
“Most likely, when the lease is up, I’ll be living by myself though and reevaluating my relationship.”
“My parents and I also had a wonderful time with the movie last night, did some catching up, and guess what?”
“We’re going out for seafood tonight because we all want to.”
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
Sounds like your partner needs to work on a few things.
Glad you found some time to be with your parents and enjoy the food you missed the first time around.