Depending on where we work, we might have some perks like travel miles or points we can use to book cheaper flights or affordable hotels.
This can make it a lot more affordable to plan a trip with family and friends, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Safe_Ad_6111 was excited to go on a vacation with his in-laws, which he’d organized and paid for with the points he had accumulated from travel for work.
But when his in-laws became critical of his use of points, the Original Poster (OP) questioned going on the trip after all.
They asked the sub:
“AITA for not giving my sister-in-law (SIL) and her family a luxury vacation?”
The OP organized a trip for their family and in-laws.
“I travel a lot for work, so I have so many hotel and airline points, it is crazy.”
“This summer I am taking my family to Disney World. We are going to stay at one of the resorts on the property.”
“My sister-in-law and her family had a hard time during the pandemic, so I decided to do something nice and invite them along. My treat.”
“I said I would pay for their flights, hotel, and park tickets. Their hotel includes a shuttle and early entry.”
The OP was surprised when their in-laws started complaining about the itinerary.
“Everyone was excited until she started talking to my wife. Now she is upset that we are staying at one of the resorts and they have to stay in Disney Springs.”
“Apparently, I’m being cheap by using points for their hotel instead of just paying for them to stay at the same resort as us.”
“My wife told her sister and brother-in-law to shut the f**k up and accept the gift, but they didn’t.”
“They told my in-laws that I was making their kids jealous by not letting them enjoy the same stuff as us.”
“To be clear, the hotel I booked for them is very nice. It’s just not The Grand Floridian.”
The situation dissolved into a family feud.
“So I finally talked to them and gave them the choice of accepting my gift or not coming since I could still cancel their reservations.”
“They started yelling at me for being an a**hole and taking something away from their children.”
“I had talked to them like adults, but when they started screaming, their kids heard them and found out that they might not be going.”
“Now their kids are p**sed at their parents for possibly f**king up their vacation, and their parents think I’m the bigger a**hole for making them look bad in front of their kids.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some supported the OP and found their in-laws to be entitled.
“Let me get this straight…”
“You’re gifting them airline tickets, park tickets, AND a nice hotel and they demand more?”
“Cancel their tickets. Immediately. For their benefit too so they drop this entitled idiocy forever. So the kids learn you get NOTHING if you’re being an a**. So they don’t try to walk all over you in the future.”
“NTA.”
“That’s on them.”
“Poor kids…”
“Heck, I’ll take this amazing gift with endless gratitude! Disney Springs got 4.85/5 stars. I’LL BE SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL IF ANYONE DID THIS FOR ME!”
“Guh…” – Empty_Comfort_4513
“NTA.”
“I find myself constantly just astonished by the level of audacity and entitlement people feel these days. What a bunch of ungrateful AHes! Please leave them at home and ENJOY your vacation with your family.”
“They will be a problem the entire time even if they decide to ‘slum it’ in Disney Springs. Seriously screw them. Learn from this and don’t offer something like it again.” – meadow_chef
“Choosing beggars much? Geesh. They’re getting a free trip to Disney and are complaining about it? Wow.”
“Their kids absolutely need to know that mom and dad lost them on the trip because this is NOT how one behaves when given something!”
“NTA.” – Beck2010
“Frankly, this is being too nice to these choosy beggars. Personally, I would have just canceled all the arrangements I made for these ungrateful mooches.”
“Oh, you don’t like THE FREE VACATION I set up for you? No problem, I’ll cancel the whole thing. THANK YOU for being considerate enough to tell me so I can cancel without getting late fees. And then NEVER try to do something nice like this again.”
“Actions, meet Consequences. Sure, they’ll call you an AH, BUT THEY’RE ALREADY DOING THAT. If you try to appease them, they’ll keep pulling this nonsense. NTA.” – Jedisilk015
“NTA. They are the textbook definition of looking a gift horse in the mouth.”
“I would be tempted to cancel their whole trip because the negative vibes and how they have handled this do not bode well for the rest of the trip. Personally, the lack of gratefulness would ruin the gesture for me.”
“And their kids should be p**sed at them. It’s a hard thing to learn, but some parents are id**ts. Their kids learned that lesson watching their parents be choosing beggars.” – littlerosepose
“Well, you are absolutely NTA here.”
“You got them a holiday, a free holiday, and they are upset because you did it using points? The means by which you paid for their FREE holiday is utterly irrelevant because they are going to Disney World for free!”
“The only people who were jealous were your sister-in-law, but they are responsible for making their kids jealous. They chose to do that.”
“Every choice they made has led them to being in this situation. Those entitled a**holes absolutely do not deserve that holiday (but their kids do, obviously). How dare they expect you to pay for them to have the same holiday as you?” – seriousrikk
“NTA. What a bunch of jerks! Cancel everything and never be generous with them again.”
“I’m in the same boat as you. I have a gazillion airline and hotel points and like to gift them to my family. The difference is my family appreciates the gifts.”
“If I’m going to the city, I book myself into the Ritz or the St. Regis. If I gift to family, it’s typically the Sheraton or Westin. Not the same as the Ritz but still very comfortable.” – ppr1227
But others pointed out that the OP’s trip setup was not the smartest plan.
“I know you did a kind thing, but it would be kinder to all stay at the same hotel. Doing something nice for someone should not make them feel othered. It’s like inviting someone for dinner but cooking the guest a slightly different meal with cheaper ingredients. Soft YTA.” – DecentDilettante
“YTA. When you invite people, you offer them what you are having. It seems tacky to say that you get the nice resort and they don’t. It’s like taking someone out to eat and telling them to just get a pasta and house blend while you have a tomahawk steak and are drinking top shelf.”
“You had two options to not look cheap and tacky, 1. Change their stay for the same resort as you are having or 2. Change it so you are not going together and they could not compare.” – AioliNeat640
“YTA. You knew what you were doing. You didn’t let them know that you guys would not be staying at the same hotel. You’re giving them the pity second-class vacation.”
“Either you should have used your points for the whole vacation for everybody even if it wasn’t at the Grand Floridian.”
“You could have chosen to have gone on vacation first. And then sometime after, you could have offered them a vacation using your points and you should have let them know that since the very beginning.” – AKA_June_Monroe
“YTA.”
“This reminds me of the guy who took his wife to an amazing honeymoon destination in the Maldives.”
“The only catch? He flew first class. She flew economy.”
“It’s great that you bought tickets for your in-laws. But you have to know the second-class status they’d feel if you were at an obviously nicer place. Their kids would feel it. Your kids would feel it.”
“You should’ve put them up at the same place. Or you should’ve downgraded and stayed at their place. Or just not invited them at all.” – pargofan
“YTA for the overall setup. When you invite someone on vacation with you, it’s kind of a jerk move to have them stay at another location. Airport transportation, meeting up to go to the resorts, dinner plans, and all those trip logistics are now separate.”
“I’ve been the poor kid who’s had other parents pay for me to have experiences. It’s wonderful, but I also see it take a toll on my parents. It’s not easy to see your kids have experiences that you couldn’t have given them.”
“And honestly nowhere is this felt more than at Disney World, in part because the resort is set up to have you spend more money. The hotel is going to be just the beginning.”
“If you’re dining at the resort, buying fast passes, getting your kids toys at the gift shops, and your in-laws are brown bagging it, waiting in line, and saying, ‘You have toys at home,’ all day to afford this trip, THEN have to go to bed at night in a different class of hotel, you’re taking your kids to the same place but they’re gonna have fundamentally different experiences.” – ricebasket
The subReddit was left absolutely shaking their heads, thinking of how grateful they’d be for a trip like this if a loved one organized something like this for them. Since the in-laws could only complain about the accommodations, most felt they deserved to learn a lesson about gratitude more than they deserved a fun trip.