in , , ,

Dad Calls Cheating Ex ‘Delusional’ For Expecting Him To Be Father Figure To Her ‘Affair Baby’ Son

Mother holding young boy’s hand
PhotoAlto/Odilon Dimier/Getty Images

Redditor Neat-Dog-5716 has a son with his ex-wife. His ex earned the prefix after she got pregnant with another man.

The Original Poster’s (OP’s) ex-wife has always wanted him to be the father figure to her second child, but the OP doesn’t have any desire.

However, seeing the little boy repeatedly disappointed to not be joining his older brother and the OP on visits has made the OP think twice.

He turned to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) for feedback.

He asked:

“AITA for taking my son for my custody time and not his half brother?”

He went on to explain.

“I [30-year-old Male] have an 8 year old son with my ex-wife. During her second pregnancy I was still married to and thought the baby was mine.”

“But then I learned she cheated and she had told the other guy that he was the father.”

“I left the marriage and filed for divorce and when ex’s son was born I took a DNA test which proved I was not the father to her younger son.”

“We also did DNA on my son during the divorce. He is my biological son.”

“The divorce went through. I pay a small amount of child support to even things out at her house, because I earn more than my ex.”

“Ex was with this other guy for a few months of her son’s life but then he was no longer around. Once he dropped out of the picture she tried crawling back to me.”

“She said our son was lucky to have me and she’d love a dad for her second son. I told her she better go out and find a good man then and not cheat on him.”

“She looked shocked and I told her she was delusional if she thought I would trust her again or want to raise her son as my own after what she did.”

“She told me it would be better for the boys to be together always and that with a 4 year age gap they will never know the half stuff if she and I were to work together and raise them as ‘ours’.”

“I firmly said no and told her she needed to focus on finding someone else if she wanted to give her son a father figure.”

“Four years on and my ex did not find someone else and she still tries to push her son onto me.”

“I had to bring her back to court to arrange a neutral place for us to do exchanges of our son because when I picked him up from her house, she would have her younger son ready and waiting to come with me.”

“It became a problem and she refused to stop. So I thought meeting at some location for exchanges would help.”

“It worked for a small period of time but then Friday when I was picking my son up for my parenting time, she brought her younger son along and he had a bag packed and waiting to come with me.”

“He walked over with my son and held his arms out like he wanted to be hugged/held and said he was coming too. He looked so happy. I felt bad because I was not going to bring him.”

“I gently told him to return to his mom. Poor kid looked so confused. I left with my son quickly so no fight could ensue.”

“Ex started texting me late Friday night and all day yesterday saying I was a d*ck and I should have had my heart melt enough to let him come.”

“She said I have proven to be an amazing dad to our son, and she just wants the same for her son. Then she told me our son wanted his brother at my house, and I was an a** for ignoring that too.”

“I spoke to my son yesterday, and he never asked for that or said he wanted it.”

“He did say his mom told him to say he wanted his half-brother at my house, too, and that he wanted me to be his half-brother’s daddy. But he didn’t care.”

“Ex’s words get to me, though. Maybe because I know her son doesn’t really have anyone outside my ex and my son, and my son is more into friends than his half-brother.”


Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

“NTA. It’s pretty clear that the major AH is your ex, who is getting your half-brother’s hopes up without your consent.”

“She messed up, and I understand she wants the best for both her children, but she really should be telling bio-dad this. Not you.” – Medical-Cat-821

“Nta but godd*mn that poor kid… That poor, poor kid. I can’t imagine what she’s telling that little guy in private. He just wants love and … God d*mn.”

“ALL I can think about is that look on that kid’s face.” – JamilViper_Nrc


“Your ex is still not taking ownership of her cheating nor the consequences. She is trying to force you to be her 2nd son’s father.”

“By telling him he was going with you and his brother was cruel, and I’m in no doubt she is calling you his father.”

“You need a talk with you ex about this bc it can’t go on or that little boy will have issues later in life. You need to tell her that boy isn’t your son and the reason is bc she cheated on you.”

“Tell she needs to find his father so he can have his real father in his life.” – Dalton402

“‘It worked for a small period of time but then Friday when I was picking my son up for my parenting time, she brought her younger son along and he had a bag packed and waiting to come with me.’”

“‘He walked over with my son and held his arms out like he wanted to be hugged/held and said he was coming too. He looked so happy.’”

“This breaks my heart. That poor, poor baby. Your ex is feeding him hope about you being his daddy … only for him to be crushed every time.”

“That boy will be traumatized for life.”

“As tragic as that is, this is NOT on you. This is all on her. You’ve been firm with your boundaries from day 1.”

“Your ex is the one who is dragging an innocent child into adult drama he doesn’t understand. On top of that, he’s dragging your son into it by coaching him to lie to you.”

“If I were you, I’d be going back to court and getting this documented, for both of the boys’ sake. She is going to do so much damage to both boys if this doesn’t stop, now.”

“NTA” – Final_Figure_7150

“That poor baby boy. He is going to grow up hating his mom, probably hating you and life in general. And he would be fine if she stopped with the pushing.”

“My two grandsons have two different dads. When older boys dad comes to pick him up, his little brother greets him wit. ‘Hi, Charlie’s dad!’ He is three and understands the difference.” – Tinkerpro

“NTA it is real alarming that she tries again to push that child to become yours again!”

“In my opinion (I am a woman), she needs to stop this behavior because it is hurting the younger kid.”

“And please go to a lawyer to tell that she already whispering in your kid’s ear that your child has to say that he wants to have his younger half-brother with him!”

“Then ask what you can do about it because of the fact that you think it is hurting your child and his younger half-brother!”

“Then something else, the reason she is doing it is because she is seeing now that her actions have consequences and that she has lost it all.”

“So did her youngest child, but that is not your problem. Don’t feel sorry for the child because this is something that his own dad is doing! He has to learn to cope with that!”

“You’re not his real dad! And I do want to say that it is normal to see a child that has no dad to feel sorry for it!”

“But if you are going to act like his dad, this boy is going in the end having a lot of problems with it because he was lied to him about the dad!”

“And last, this is the most important one! You know that she is doing it to get you back! Because in her mind, when you are going to love that kid, she could have you back!”

“She doesn’t want to be accountable for her own actions. She does everything by the book. The manipulation of her kids and you!”

“And that is a real red flag 🚩 So be careful when you have another woman in your life because I think your ex might become crazy…..” – Deathlykitten78

That is some truly cruel and manipulative behavior.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)