All. parents hope that their children will turn out, more or less, just like them.
Unfortunately, most parents learn much earlier than expected that their children have little to no interest in living their lives in the same way as their parents.
In some cases, parents adjust to it, and accept that their children’s lives will not be what they hoped they would.
Other parents are much less accepting.
As was the case for Redditor Vegetable-Bad8521, who began to realize that she didn’t fully align with her family’s strict belief system the older she got.
So much so that the original poster (OP), even went directly against her family’s beliefs by making a sizable change to her physical appearance.
A decision which, unsurprisingly, did not sit well with her father.
Having doubts about her decision, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for donating my hair to charity without my dad’s permission.”
The OP explained how her decision to partake in a fairly common occurrence was met with anger from her family.
“I (15 F[emale]) live in a Christian household, where cutting your hair is strictly not allowed.”
“I never liked long hair and always felt uncomfortable with mine, it never helped with my low self-esteem and body images issues.”
“So one day, I found out the local cancer treatment clinic, whatever it’s called, was accepting hair donations.”
“Without thinking twice, I cut my hair completely until it reached my shoulders, and donated it to the clinic.”
“When my dad came back to work, he found out about it and got mad at me for not following the Church doctrine and for doing it behind his back without his permission.”
‘He called me insults and many bad things, and now he doesn’t want to leave me alone on my own anymore out of fear I’ll do something behind his back again.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for getting her hair cut.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s father badly overreacted, with many particularly confused as. to what chapter of Christianity wouldn’t support her donating her hair to cancer patients.
“Body autonomy 101: the ability to do whatever the fuck you want with your own hair.”- Mabelisms
:You donated to charity, your father is a fake christian because he was mad at you for doing something that the bible, aka, the central book of his religion, ays is usually a top priority, while saying the religion says you can’t cut your hair, which is a new one to me.
Save your money, and leave the cult house you live in the day you turn 18.- No-Personality5421
“Your father’s views is outdated but unfortunately there’s nothing you can do until you’re legally an adult.”
“I grew up in a pentecostal household that held the same belief. Would always hear ‘a woman’s hair is her glor’ once my grandmother got upset with my hair dresser for cutting my dead ends.”- Impossible-Peach-985
“It’s sad when religion becomes an excuse to oppress people.”
“Hopefully your dad will one day realize that he’s lost perspective on what is important.”
“Kudos to you for doing such a great thing for cancer patients·”-MidniteProph
“NTA I wish you the best of luck escaping this environment.”- sabaegsa404
“But what Christian church is telling its congregation not to cut hair?”
“As a Christian myself this is the first I’ve ever heard of this.”
“Anyways, it’s just hair.”
“Nowhere in the Bible does it say not to cut your hair.”-Eldest_of_Five
I hate this shit. I’m pregnant, have no religious affiliation, but would never force my kid into my beliefs.
“I hear constantly about how faith is super personal, blah, blah, blah.”
“Which don’t get me wrong, I agree with. But if it’s soooooo personal, why the hell do some parents not allow their kids to express their religious beliefs in a different format than them?”
“You did not thing wrong, and your dad needs to get over the fact that you have different beliefs than him.”
“You cut your hair, you didn’t rob a bank.”
“NTA how exactly does religion prohibit cutting your hair but does not prohibit insulting your 15 year old child?”- Dangerous-Law-5569
“NTA and I really despise these cult-like sects that think males have the right to control a woman’s body in any of its aspects.”
“You are probably stuck with this misogynism until you are a legal adult, but any parent who insults their child and demands this groveling, no-free-thoughts-of-your-own level of obedience is not a good parent.”
“His idea of ‘Chrisianity’ is the type that is causing the group as a whole to loose members at an increasing rate because it is all about power and control and abusing others, nothing about love or concern.”
“I think all you can do is keep your head down and try to fly under the radar until you are a legal adult. “
“What you do after that is up to you, so please try to prepare to make your own life and choices as soon as you can.”
“Good luck to you!”- Dipping_My_Toes
“NTA, regardless of the reason you cut your hair.”
“You’re entitled to bodily autonomy and your father is being abusive.”- beyondsouthernreach
“Your hair, your choice.”- mango-waffles
“Ew to whatever church you belong to.”
“Your body and only you get to decide how it looks and what you do to it.”-Tiffm09
“Your body belongs to YOU.”
“Your. Body. Belongs. To. You.”
“Not your dad. Not a religion.”
“Not a friend. Not a spouse. YOU.”
“Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to about this?”
“Because your dad is being abusive to you.”
“This isn’t normal behavior from a parent.”- Interesting_Order_82
“If this is real NTA.”
“And if you aren’t homeschooled I’d suggest a visit to the schools guidance counselor because your father is treating you like his property rather than his daughter and I bet this is the least of his controlling behavior.”- Hadtosignuptofothis
“NTA, and may this lead you to start thinking about whether or not any of the other religious beliefs you were raised with make no sense.”- headdeskreact
“NTA at all but do be careful and safe.”
“Is there a second parent in your household or other close adult in your family who you trust?”-Moon-Queen95
“There is a biblical verse that some conservative religions base this belief on.”
“Corinthians 11:15, KJV: But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.”
“You are at an age where you are beginning to think for yourself and question beliefs and develop your own belief system and values.”
“Unfortunately for you, your family belong to a religion that has fairly restrictive beliefs.”
“Your dad thinks you are jeopardizing your eternal salvation, not adhering to his beliefs.”
“He’s going to react as such.”
“I am strongly in the NTA camp but buckle up if you plan to follow your own mind while still a minor.”
“You might consider trying to go along for the ride, so to speak, for the most part until you are old enough to step out from under your parent’s rules, unless you are up for an ongoing battle.”
“Good luck to you.”- francesknows
“Sounds like you did a proper Christian thing to do.”
“You donated to charity, to helping out the less fortunate and last I checked that’s something that Christ would want you to do.”- GlassturtleOG
“It could grow back.”- cptnstup1d
“You did a wonderful thing.”
“Thinking of others is certainly a godly mindset in my book.”
“Your faith and his are not the same.”
“Listen to your heart.”- venturebirdday
“There is no Christian doctrine on women keeping their hair long.”
“That’s some cult stuff.”
“Your dad is.”
“You did a selfless, generous thing.”
“I would be proud of my kid.”
“As someone else said, your father is caught up in legalistic worship.”
“You did what Jesus would have done.”
“Shoulder length hair is still considered ‘long’.”
“I donate my hair every two years.”
“Your hair will grow back.”– prplemonkeedishwashr
“Your hair isn’t his property.”
“This hurts no one and possibly helps others.”- mdthomas
“There’s no hate like Christian love.”
“Thanks for being better than that.”
“Go ahead and ask your dad to pull out that chapter and verse so that you may pray over it.”-ScammerC
One of the major cornerstones of Christianity is treating those less fortunate with you with the dignity they deserve.
Which is exactly what the OP did by giving away her hair.
One can’t help but wonder what form of Christianity the OP’s father practices that he should feel anything but proud by her actions.