When a person with assets dies, it should simplify matters if they leave behind a will.
But when their beneficiaries don’t agree with the division of those assets, conflict can ensue.
A mother who thinks her late father’s will was unfair turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback on her solution.
No_Advertising_2814 asked:
“AITA for forcing my son to sell the car he is inheriting?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“This didn’t happen yet but my whole family is fighting over this. I’ll try to make this as short as possible.”
“My father passed away in December. He owned a classic car. I believe it’s a 50s Chevy Bel Air.”
“My son (17) is the only grandson he had. I have one sister who has 2 daughters, and I have 2 daughters along with my son. So there are 5 grandkids in total.”
“My dad was never much of a girls guy.”
“He always got along with the boys more than the girls. He and my son were very close.”
“He has left the car to my son in his will. The rest of the grandkids got $4,000 each. The vehicle is valued at over $70,000.”
“We got some money too. A little more than the girls got, $6,000.”
“Most of the assets went to my mom; there were only a few things he passed to us when he died because he knew the rest of it would be when my mom goes.”
“My sister is LIVID—I am very unhappy as well.”
“It’s just blatantly unfair to his 4 other grandkids. I don’t understand the legality of the situation because it was left to him but he is currently underage.”
“The car is currently held at my mom’s house. I don’t know how to force him to sell it, but I think that is what should happen, and the money can be decided [sic] equally amongst the grandkids.”
“The way it should be.”
“My son is very upset about this; he says grandpa left him the car, so it’s his car.”
“I have money saved for his college.”
“I am almost considering telling him that his college money will be divided up amongst his sisters and cousins if he refuses to sell the car.”
“My husband thinks we should leave everything as is, but maybe speak to my mother about leaving more to the girls than to him when she passes.”
“That is where most of the money is since she has my dad’s estate. There were some things passed down after he died—like the car, some money for my sister and I plus the grandkids.”
“AITA?”
The OP summed up their conundrum.
“I’m asking for judgment on demanding my son sell the car to make things equal amongst the grandkids. I might be an a**hole because it was my dad’s wish that my son get the car.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors unanimously declared OP was the a**hole.
“YTA. Even if he sells the car, you can’t force him to give up the money. The car was clearly given to him as a sentimental item and a shared interest.”
“It was given to your son because he was the only one in the family likely to appreciate and maintain it. It’s like if your father had a Steinway grand piano—he’d give it to the grandchild who played piano, not the grandchild with an interest in pottery.”
“And as long as your son doesn’t sell the car, he’s not actually reaping that $70K in inheritance. He doesn’t somehow have $70K to spend on college or anything else.”
“He’s just got a very sentimental, valuable car.”
“Also, while the other kids got cash, your son got an ongoing bill. That car is going to cost him money to keep registered, insured, inspected, and maintained as a drivable vehicle.”
“Your son didn’t get $70K, he got something without a defined tangible value that will cost him hundreds of dollars every year.” ~ thirdtryisthecharm
“YTA. Your son is entirely correct. It’s not up to you to distribute his property and subvert his grandpa’s wishes.”
“You are supposed to act in your son’s best interests. How would those be served by your plan?” ~ Squiggles567
“You really need to think long and very, very hard about whether or not you’d like to stay in contact with your son. If you go through with this, you will be forcibly taking away the very last thing his grandpa gave him.”
“You are undermining the decision of a dead man and blatantly disrespecting and disregarding his last wishes. That would make you an absolutely awful daughter to him before we even get to your son.”
“As for your son, he is 17. If he is made to sell that car and divide that money, I see it very, very likely he uses this money he has left to get as far away from you as possible.”
“Your son is just barely under the cutoff where he’d be out of your reach about the car anyway. Do you really want this to be the last thing you do to him as a minor?”
“Is this how you want him to remember the end of his childhood? You seriously want your son to remember his mother as selfish, and greedy?”
“You’re going to take away money you’ve saved for HIS FUTURE. HIS LIFE. All because someone else left him something worth more than expected.”
“Your son has a monetary limit for how much you love him? Some mother you are.”
“I sincerely hope this puts some things in perspective for you. I sincerely hope that you can find another way to rectify this situation.”
“If you cannot, I hope your son never has to deal with you again. I hope for all things holy, you are unable to force him, and he takes the car and gets the f*ck out of dodge.”
“I hope he puts enough distance between you and him, for you to understand this is not, never was, and never, ever will be, your decision to make.”
“YTA, quite frankly you’d be a terrible, terrible mother to your son, and words can’t even describe the kind of disgraceful daughter you’d be to your father.”
“I mean, seriously, what kind of person does this‽‽” ~ HailHydraB
“OP will be on Reddit in a year complaining that her 18-year-old son has no contact with her, and she has no idea why. YTA.” ~ missiletypeoccifer
“You’ve thought about stealing/forcing him to sell his inheritance and give it away to the girls, taking his college savings away and giving it to the girls, making your mother leave him out of the will that has the majority of the wealth, not allowing him to park the car at home, your sister and daughters’ jealousy and greed, etc, etc, etc…”
“NOT ONCE did you think about him and how that would affect him, his relationships with the family and especially you, the sentimental value of the car to him, the lifelong memories and lifestyle that car could provide him with, as well as whoever he would leave it to upon his death.”
“All you have thought about is the girls. YOU ARE BLATANTLY UNFAIR!”
“Wills are not meant to be divided equally, they are meant to be divided the way the person who made it wanted it to be. It’s not your property, and you have no say in what goes to whom!”
“How dare you even entertain the idea that he doesn’t deserve to receive that car. Good opportunity to show your kids how to be happy for their family when good things happen for them instead of immediately being jealous and greedy.”
“Your dad would have left the car to one of you, but he knew you only cared about the money and would sell it like you’re trying to make him. That doesn’t have anything to do with boy or girl, it’s who he knew would cherish and keep the car that meant so much to him.”
“If your daughter happened to be the one to inherit it, I doubt you would be doing the same to her. When one of them inherits your mother’s wedding ring, you will force her to sell it and split the profits right?”
“Lady you’re absolutely disgusting.”
“Your son will always remember the day he found out he inherited something so special and his own mother and family attacking and punishing him for it until he gave it up all for everyone to get an extra $10k-$15k that will be gone so quick with nothing left to show for it, definitely nothing as special and meaningful as that car.”
“You can’t even take that back now, the damage is done. YOU destroyed your relationship with your son and his relationship with his sisters and other family for money that wasn’t even yours and it’s pathetic.”
“I truly hope he finds people that love and care about him now that he has found out how his entire family really feels. This is probably the worst thing I’ve ever read. Wow!” ~ Jbeebee1840
“YTA and your sister is also—GET REAL!”
“Your father had final wishes written down in a legal document that he paid to have drafted.”
“He gave each grandkid something; in the case of the granddaughters, it was cash. In the case of your son it was a car. By your own words, he has a strong, close bond with your son and not with his granddaughters.”
“There is no ‘what’s right’ or ‘fair’ in someone’s will; it’s literally their FINAL wishes. He could’ve also left ALL of them diddly squat and donated it to a charity.”
“But he chose to do what he did, and now you and your sister—because you perceive it as somehow ‘unfair’—are attempting to subvert that, have your son sell HIS inheritance (btw you can’t, it’s legally his property now, not your’s even if he can’t drive it) to appease the other grandchildren.”
“Please remember your Father has zero obligation to give anyone anything and chose to do things as he has. No one was left out, and everyone got something.”
“I’m sure your mother is THRILLED. You’re all making such a ruckus over this while she’s grieving her dead husband, and you’re all comparing and complaining how ‘fair’ it all is or isn’t.”
“If I was your son, I’d be telling you to pound sand, and I hope you realize you’re risking your future relationship with him by what you’re considering doing, and if he speaks to a lawyer, he’s going to find out you actually can’t ‘make’ him sell that car.”
“Since you seem to be stuck on what’s ‘fair’; your threat of dividing his college fund—due to something that was completely out of his control—is both cruel and unfair to your son.”
“If you choose to do that, I hope you understand it’s very possible your son will wash his hands of you and want nothing to do with you down the road.” ~ No-Exit6560
Talk about daddy issues.
It sounds like OP and her sister harbor some resentment towards their father.
But that’s not her son’s problem. Hopefully, OP seeks help instead of ways to alienate her son further and pit the next generation against each other.