Presents, no matter the holiday, are said to be defined as a gift from the heart.
Of course, it’s nice to get nice things, like jewelry and clothes. But where is the just appreciating the thought that counts?
And what if you’re shopping for someone who wants the flash of it all?
Case in point…
Redditor livviloubee to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not buying my mom a bracelet?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (f[emale]18) am in college.”
“I worked a summer job and am planning to get one spring semester on campus.”
“I pay for everything myself.”
“Tuition and housing is covered by an education trust given to me from my late grandfather, so that doesn’t affect my mom’s savings.”
“All food beyond my meal plan, school supplies, club dues, clothes, flights home, etc I cover from my summer earnings.”
“It’s taught me how to budget and use my money wisely.”
“This year for Christmas, my mom asked me for a bracelet.”
“It was $1700 and I simply could not swing it.”
“It would leave me with about $100 for the spring semester and I couldn’t.”
“I told her I wasn’t able to do that and I hoped I’d have the money one day and I was sorry.”
“Instead for Christmas I got her two ornaments, a new wallet (her old one broke), some of her favorite treats from a store by my college (I go very far out of state), and some things that said my school mom and things like that.”
“In total it was about $250.”
“She got mad and called me ungrateful and now she won’t hang the ornaments I gave or use the wallet.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“This post is what in reality happens the other way around.”
“What a terrible mother! OP, you’re still a child and so thoughtful.”
“I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself. You’re so young and you should figure out your own life first.”
“Mom can go and buy herself a bracelet or better yet a bag of dog poop for being so absurd.” ~ ttashko
“NTA. The amount of delusion to ask your daughter who gets by on an education trust and barely afford to feed herself to buy you a $1700 bracelet is beyond astounding.”
“I would return her gifts and use the money to pay for her co-pay on her first therapy session, honestly.” ~ Schrute_Farms_BednB
“One year I wanted to buy my mom something super special, so I went to Macy’s and bought her a tiny bottle of Chanel number 19.”
“She found out about it and demanded I return it, because it was expensive.”
“I did as was asked.”
“I knew that while she was grateful that I wanted to spend that much money on her, she said that it just wasn’t important that she get an expensive bottle of perfume.” ~ LunarKnight22
“What the heck did I just read?”
“OP’s mum wants a four-figure bracelet from her kid that manages to feed itself by budgeting and being financially responsible and generally just somehow manages to pay for college + life?”
“Some people are just crazy.”
“This mum would be out of my life.”
“Sorry, but nobody needs parents that obviously don’t love their kid and would rather see it go hungry? Just for a BRACELET?” ~ Remote-Ability-6575
“NTA, you’re 18 and pay everything yourself from your basic human needs to your own education.”
“Your mom should be ashamed to ask such a gift from her child.”
“Your presence alone should have been enough.”
“I’m a graduated, working adult (27), and I would never even give my parents a 250 dollar gift, just for Christmas.”
“Maybe for some really special occasion I would.”
“You already did much more than you should have done.”
“Im sure she is the type that thinks she’s done providing once you turned 18.”
“You mom is a narcissistic a**hole.” ~ DutchBookWorm
“Definitely NTA. Your mom has an entitlement problem and needs to fix that before she completely ruins your guys relationship.”
“Other parents would be happy just to spend time with you during the holidays let alone receive such thoughtful gifts from their child.”
“She’s obviously just looking for money and expensive things from you and is probably jealous of you having that trust fund from your grandparent.” ~ CptnKitten
“NTA. Oh, my, where do I begin?”
“You’re being practical and living within your budget and she’s being demanding and ungrateful.”
“You didn’t give us any history of your relationship with her or what she’s been like before all this so I don’t know if this is totally out of character for her or if she’s always been this way.”
“Limit contact and concentrate on your studies. Please don’t feel guilty and whatever you do, DON’T give in to her.” ~ LoveBeach8
“NTA- my husband and I are both in our 30s and have fairly well paying jobs and wouldn’t spend that sort of money on each other or anyone else.”
“Asking a 18 year old on part time work for this expensive an item is ridiculous.”
“You’ve bought her a huge amount and she’s acting like an ungrateful child.”
“Leaving you with 100 dollars for a semester would be horrid and would leave you really struggling.”
“She’s being incredibly selfish to even consider asking you to do this.” ~ Betweentheminds
“Jesus no. NTA at all.”
“Your mom however… I’ve never even had a parent ask me for anything for Christmas or birthdays etc.”
“I graduated college a few years ago and am now at the age where I do get gifts but I’ve never ever had anyone actually ask for something.”
“I may ask them if they would like a certain thing but they would never get mad if I didn’t even get them anything at all.”
“There seems to be a deeper issue here.” ~ DiscoMagicParty
“NTA. I suggest getting her nothing next year. Asking a college student for a $1700 present is being ridiculous.”
“That is a gift from a lover, not a child.” ~ voluntold9276
Well OP should feel validated by you guys.
Hopefully this family can find a way forward in the new year.