Every now and then, when we go out to a restaurant, we might find ourselves being served by someone who is anything but hospitable.
How we handle their behavior is up to us.
Some will simply deal with it through the meal, and then teach their server a lesson by giving them a lower tip than they were probably expecting.
Others, however, simply don't have the patience for bad or unfriendly service and let their displeasure be known immediately.
Redditor rtice001 and his wife recently treated themselves to an evening out at a high-end restaurant.
Unfortunately, their excitement was short-lived after their server had a truly bizarre response to what kind of water they wanted for the table.
Unwilling to put up with her inhospitable behavior, the original poster (OP) decided it was probably best to eat somewhere else.
Wondering if they made the right decision, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA).
The OP explained why their server's curious behavior led he and his wife to decide to eat dinner elsewhere:
"This has been bugging me for a few days."
"Went to dinner with my wife recently to a relatively nice place ($30-$45 pp mains)."
"Quick side note, we're both in our 30s, and both work in hospitality and worked in kitchens for years, so we're generally on our best behavior at restaurants."
"Anyway."
"We sit down and are greeted by a young woman (early 20s) who drops some menus and asks if we want to start with still or sparkling water."
"I looked at the drink menu and saw the still was $9 and the sparkling was $12."
"Neither of us cares that much about fancy water, so I said tap is fine."
"She gave a sort of grimace and a small noise."
"I asked 'Is there something wrong with the tap water?'"
"She replied, 'It's very hydrating'."
"Followed by an awkward silence."
"This was very strange to me, so I essentially repeated the question with slightly different verbiage and once again got 'It's very hydrating.'"
"I looked at her with an expression of 'please explain'."
"More silence."
"Eventually, I asked, 'What does that mean?' She said, with no emotion: 'It will hydrate you.'"
"Now I'm feeling weird about the whole situation."
"And I flat out asked, with no expression or connotation: 'What's wrong with the tap water?'"
"You guessed it!"
"'It's very hydrating'."
"I stood up and told my wife, 'We're going'."
"Before my wife even realized what was going on, the waitress said 'Have a blessed day' with the smuggest smile I've ever seen."
"Am I in La-La-Land here?"
"The triplicated response seems really dumb for someone who is a 'professional' at hospitality."
"Anyway- my wife suggested I took it too far by leaving."
"In my opinion, I didn't take it far enough and should have spoken to a manager."
"But life's short- and I didn't."
"My wife was cool with leaving."
"We have a very equitable relationship."
"If one of us says to the other 'we're leaving,' or any variation of that, we trust each other to know we made the right call and will figure out the rest later."
"I'm from near there and have had the tap water in the vicinity several times without issue."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for deciding to leave the restaurant following their server's bizarre behavior.
Everyone agreed that the server's responses were, indeed, bizarre and unfriendly, and if the OP and his wife didn't feel comfortable eating there, then they shouldn't have stayed.
"NTA."
"That waitress was judging you because you don't want to spend $9-12 on water."-Georgejefferson19
"NTA."
"A good restaurant is in business to provide guests with a good dining experience."
"This waitress is chasing off good business."
"I'm fairly certain her manager would like to know that this waitress is damaging their business and their reputation."
"That waitress has no business working in a fine dining establishment."- stephnetkin
"It's also 'wet'."
"NTA."- mizfit0416
"NTA."
"Next time, instead of a tip, leave her a note that says 'money can be exchanged for goods and services."- FritosRule
"NTA."
"It is more than likely that she was judging your choice, thinking you were cheap."
"Although there is another possible scenario."
"You know when something is objectively bad, but you're not allowed to criticize it, so you find a way to compliment something random."
"Like you're at a friend's house, and they've just cooked a meal that doesn't taste very good."
"You can't bring yourself to criticize their cooking directly because you don't want to hurt their feelings, so you say something like 'Wow, your presentation is really something else tonight!' or 'These plates look so fancy.'"
"That could be what happened here."
"Their tap water may not have been great quality, or it could have had an odd taste."
"As the waitress couldn't think of a positive way to describe the tap water, she just went with 'hydrating.'"- Impossible_Rain_4727
"NTA."
"The waiter was rude when she repeated her response after you asked for clarification."
"You asked a legitimate question—for her to explain her reaction to your asking for tap water."
"I would have left, too."
"I think you should contact the owner or manager."
"When people pay a lot of money for a meal, they deserve polite service."- General_Relative2838
"I was traveling recently and was sat in the bar at a hotel."
"There was a restaurant on the 20th floor, and I asked the bartender if it was good."
"He told me it was a nice space and great for taking Instagram photos."
"I asked him if the food was good, and he just repeated the IG line."
"I got the message and went to eat somewhere else."
"Suspect you had the same type of thing going on here."- All_the_passports
"A**holery notwithstanding, this is a hilarious interaction."
"After the second 'it's very hydrating' I turn into Jim Halper, desperately looking for a camera."-Crunchy_Leaves_Slap
"She's been told to upsell."
"She thinks it's idiocy and will drive people away instead of raising ticket totals."
"She looked smug because you're making the same point she's been making to management in her head but isn't allowed to say."
"From my waitress days anyway."- obiwantogooutside
"Should have stayed and wrote 'it's very hydrating on the tip line."- givemesomedrugs
"This is hilarious!"
"What a loon! I don't think I would have left, but I might have said, 'Well, that sounds delicious! Two tall glasses of very hydrating water, please! And make it extra hydrating!'"- NuclearFamilyReactor
"NTA for getting frustrated."
"However, I think a better response would've been: 'Can I please speak with your manager?'"
"The real answer to what is wrong with the tap water is that it's free, but she doesn't want to say that."-_gadget_girl
"NTA."
"She was trying to talk you out of the free water and doing a weirdly bad job of it."- Careless-Ability-748
"NTA and also… sparkling water isn't for everyone."
"I personally can't drink it without feeling like I'm drinking a vodka soda."
"And I don't always want one of those."- J3rkoffdonni3
"I'm guessing she can't say anything negative, so went with the only positive thing she could think of to say for tap water....?"
"It's that, or she's as dumb as a box of rocks and doesn't get that water is supposed to hydrate you. She's just heard vaguely of hydration, so decided to go with that word."- Atarlie
There were a select few, however, who felt that there may have been a reason behind the server's unusual response, even if they didn't judge the OP for deciding to leave:
"NAH."
"It was an annoying answer, but I'm willing to bet she's been told she can't tell people the tap water tastes bad."
'So she has had to come up with something to say that isn't a lie but also isn't going to get her in trouble."
'You aren't TA for being irritated, though, and leaving."- Latter-Shower-9888
"I see everyone assuming she was trying to manipulate you into buying water, and maybe that's true."
"I would assume that their tap water doesn't taste very good, which is why she made the face, but she's also not allowed to say anything disparaging about anything they serve at the restaurant, which is why she just kept repeating that it will fulfill the basic function of hydration."
"For that reason, NAH because I get why you were frustrated but I can also see her being stuck between a rock and a hard place."- BoycottingTrends
There is never an excuse to be rude to anyone under any circumstances.
Making one have to wonder what this young woman was thinking with her flippant response to a fairly reasonable question.
One can only imagine that her manager wasn't thrilled to hear she lost business for the restaurant that night.
As well as the possibility of the OP and his wife ever returning to this restaurant ever again.
















New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.