One of the phases a lot of parents dread is entering the teenage years with their kids.
For those with daughters, one of their reasons is periods, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Traditional_Status78 prepared thoroughly for his daughter, but he soon realized not all parents are so well-prepared.
When he was criticized for his readiness, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he was wrong to help out.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for giving my daughter’s friend sanitary products?”
The OP prepared for his daughter to start menstruating.
“I (43 [Male]) and my ex (44 [Female]) separated when my daughter was born.”
“My ex sees our daughter monthly, but my daughter lives with me as her school is near my house.”
“I grew up with 3 sisters and was very aware of the monthly period.”
“I went out and bought my daughter a ton of products that she can choose from. I sent her a few videos to watch as well to avoid any issues.”
Not every household did the same.
“My daughter (13 [Female]) got her period two months ago and she was very thankful to have products on hand.”
“One of her friends came over for a sleepover and during the night, I heard screaming.”
“I woke up and ran into my daughter’s room. Her friend started crying, and my daughter tried to explain what was going on.”
“She then showed her friend where the products were and everything calmed down.”
The friend’s mother did not appreciate this.
“Her friend’s mom came to pick her up in the morning, and I informed her in small details of what happened.”
“Her mother started scolding me for being a creep and said I should be ashamed of myself.”
“She also said my daughter’s friend won’t be coming over anymore because of me.”
“AITA for giving daughter’s friend sanitary products?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that he was absolutely NTA.
“First off, you didn’t even do anything besides buy period products for your daughter. Your daughter is the one who helped her friend.”
“Second, what were you supposed to do, just not let the poor girl have any? Her mother isn’t being fair to you or her. You weren’t being creepy, you were being a good parent.” – torncarapace
“You’re a good parent. I got mine very early at 9 yrs old but luckily my mom had done due diligence in preparing me for it all.”
“But I once read about a girl telling a story of her getting her period on the school bus and not noticing until a boy stopped her and discretely gave her his jacket to tie around her waist. I was always impressed with how that kid was raised and it looks like you are doing the same!”
“My son knew around grade 4 or 5 only because he asks a million questions and he found my tampons.” – sixthandelm
“I’m not sure what the friends’ mother expected you to do otherwise? Just let her bleed everywhere?”
“It’s also your duty to inform the other parent of what happened while the girl was in your care. As far as I can tell the only thing that you did was investigate screaming (which of course you must do), and then your daughter took it from there.”
“The only thing I can think of that you might have done wrong was to not notify the mother when it was happening. Although, if this in the middle of the night, I wouldn’t consider this an emergency that would warrant the need to wake a parent to do so.” – LadyKojac
Others agreed and were concerned about the mother’s response.
“If anyone’s being creepy, it’s the mom for thinking there is anything sexual about a dad buying pads for his 13-year-old or about that 13-year-old sharing them with her (presumably also 13ish-year-old) friend.” – lifecleric
“I taught all 3 of my boys about menstruation. One of them has his own apartment and keeps a basket with a variety of products underneath the bathroom sink. He sets it up every time he has a female over. I’m very proud of him!”
“This mom is TA in my opinion! She should have been thanking OP, not calling him creepy, and ending the friendship between their daughters.”
“How is she even going to explain that to people? ‘Well, OP bought his daughter period products and his daughter gave some to my daughter. That’s just so creepy of OP to buy his daughter period products that I just couldn’t let the friendship continue.’ Does she not understand how bizzaro that sounds?” – bookworm1421
“My mom was genuinely p**sed off at me for getting my period at 12, because somehow that was preventable and I wouldn’t have ‘taken her little girl away.'”
“OP, there is nothing creepy, weird, or wrong about having period products on hand and calming a girl who unexpectedly started hers during a sleepover. You’re a good dad. NTA.” – BossVal
Some were also concerned at how ill-prepared the other mother made her daughter.
“I think we know why the girl was screaming, too. If the mom has that kind of a reaction to someone giving her daughter period products, then she clearly has some messed up views on the subject and probably didn’t prepare her daughter for what was coming. Poor girl.” – bluetable321
“That poor girl had no idea what was going on and her mom should be ashamed of herself.” – scpdavis
“I educated my SON in the 4th grade so he would be a little gentleman if he ever saw a female classmate with blood on her pants.”
“He was told why it might happen, not to call attention to it, not to freak out, to offer his hoodie to protect her from anyone else seeing if possible, and to quietly get the teacher or nurse if the girl needed help.”
“All I could think about was my best friend in elementary school getting her period in the FOURTH GRADE. The poor girl was horribly teased when she bled through her pants one day, and couldn’t imagine my son being like one of the boys who acted visibly and vocally grossed out.” – Dewhickey76
Despite the mother’s alarmed reaction, the subReddit did not believe the OP did anything wrong.
Rather, he did the right thing to make sure the teen was not scared, and he allowed his daughter to walk her through it girl-to-girl.
A parent likely couldn’t ask for better care during a sleepover.