Heartbreak is never easy to deal with, but it’s even harder when you are a hormone-filled teenager.
So, it makes sense that you would need some time off to prioritize your mental health.
Redditor cyhner encountered this very issue with his daughter. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
He asked:
“AITA for forcing my daughter to go to school?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m 37M, single dad, and my daughter is 15F.”
“She recently broke up with her boyfriend and she’s understandably devastated. She has confided in me and told me that her boyfriend cheated on her with a girl from their class.”
“Two days ago she asked me if she could stay home from school because she couldn’t bear to face them. I agreed and I wrote a letter in to the school, saying that she had an upset stomach and asking her teachers to excuse her from class.”
“I took a day off from work so I could accompany her. We spent the entire day watching movies in her room and I sat with her while she cried.”
OP’s daughter is still struggling.
“Yesterday she asked me if she could skip school again.”
“I agreed and once again contacted her school. However, this time I couldn’t stay home from work because I had things to settle in my workplace.”
“So, I made her breakfast and told her to use my credit card to order herself lunch and dinner.”
“Today she asked if she could skip school yet again and I said no.”
“I told her that she couldn’t keep skipping school forever and I said that she would have to be brave and face them. She was extremely mad at me and she yelled at me, saying that I didn’t understand her.”
“She said that she wasn’t going to ‘skip school forever’ and she just needed a couple more days. I said no, she would have to go to school, so that’s what she did, but she was fuming mad.”
“I feel kind of bad now because I remember how it felt like when I broke up with my high school girlfriends and how much I couldn’t bear to see them around in school.”
“AITA?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. One day’s absence is a reasonable and compassionate response.”
“Two days is generous. At this point, it’s turning into avoidance (and possibly a bit of milking the situation simply to get out of going to school) – and you’re right that as miserable as it’s going to be, she has to figure out how to navigate it.” ~ mm172
“Agreed. A bit NAH for me though. Getting cheated on at 15 years old? And likely classmates knowing about it? Wow. That’s going to last some time.”
“But then again OP is super awesome for taking time off work to comfort his daughter. Perhaps the daughter will recover faster with an amazing dad.” ~ geary227
“Completely agreed. Daughter is only 15, and odds are this is her first longer relationship and first time getting cheated on, plus not really being able to consider long-term consequences of never going to school again yet.”
“She’s not an AH, she’s just a dumb teenager. The only AHs here are the ex and his new girlfriend.” ~ Equivalent-Unit
“My only advice to dad would have been to set the expectation of how many days off was reasonable earlier.”
“Maybe day two, ‘yeah, I think one more day is okay. You’ll have to go back tomorrow, though, so you don’t miss too much. But here’s my credit card so you can order yourself lunch. I suggest getting a dessert, too, to shore up your bravery.'”
“Letting her know earlier might have made it easier for her to psych herself up instead of doing it all day-of.” ~ UnApprovedActivities
Some were talking about the importance of being there for her.
“I am pushing 50 and there for raised by big ole boomers. A fraction of the compassion OP showed the 15 year old would not have been wasted on me.ETA: NAH” ~ k—mkay
“Right?! I fell when I was in school and landed on a book case. Broke my wrist, but only a simple break.”
“My mom thought it was a sprain. Not only did she not take me to the doctor for three days, I also had to go to school. Even the neighborhood bully took pity on me over that one.” ~ ClothDiaperAddicts
“Letting her take a couple of days off is not coddling. It’s showing compassion and love for your child. He sent her back to school to face them. He was being a good dad. All kids should be so lucky.” ~ grisley1234
“It’s unclear whether you’re saying the OP was wrong to let his daughter stay home for two days. That’s not coddling; it’s compassion.”
“There’s a difference between compassion and coddling and the OP did not cross that line. Telling someone who is experiencing heartbreak to suck-it-up on day one makes them hard and bitter. Hard, bitter people do not make the world a better place.”
“If, on the other hand, you’re supporting the father making his daughter go back to school after two days, I agree with you.” ~ Forteanforever
Others are wondering how her fellow classmates will react.
“Back when I was in high school, everyone would be supportive of the person that was cheated on. I’d hope that’s how teens are now too- overall their age group seems to be a lot more aware and sensitive to things like that.” ~ phalseprofits
“Unfortunately when I was at school/college and this shit happened it depended on which was more popular.”
“If the cheated party was popular the other two would be shunned, and if one of the cheating party was more popular the cheated person deserved it for not being good enough. It’s despicable.” ~ forgedsignatures
“Yep, also heavily depends on who gets to put their spin on the story first. Who knows what this girl’s ex has been telling people?”
“The longer she hides, the more time she gives those two to salvage their own images at the expense of hers. Being cheated on does not automatically grant you sympathy points. Especially in high school.” ~ DiTrastevere
Heartbreak takes time to heal.