Redditor aitathrowSDGNU349 is trying to balance his parenting with keeping the bills affordable.
The Original Poster (OP) keeps the thermostat in the upper 80s in order to keep the AC bill low.
The OP’s son typically hangs out in his underwear because it’s so hot.
But the OP wants his son to wear more clothes around the house.
This caused a disagreement between the OP and his son, ultimately driving the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
He asked:
“AITA for telling my son he has to wear clothes?”
He went on to explain.
“My son [Male age 19] loves to just wear underwear in his room for whatever reason.”
“He’ll throw on a shirt and pants if he has to step out to go to the bathroom, come to the kitchen, talk to anybody, etc but otherwise, he’s just in his underwear.”
“I’ve [Male age 48] told him multiple times that I dislike this and that he has to wear clothes in case his mom or I have to come into his room.”
“He says that if we start knocking he’ll throw something on and then it’ll be okay. I told him he still has to wear clothes and then he made another excuse and said it was too hot.”
“In the summer, I tend to set the thermostat to around 85 or 87 to save money. I turn it down to around 80-82 once the sun goes down because then it takes less energy.”
“He says that it makes him sweat when he’s just sitting around not doing anything and I rejoined by saying, ‘if it’s so hot go spend a couple hours outside, see if it still feels hot’”
“We live in Oklahoma, and it routinely gets up to 100 in the summers.”
“He rolled his eyes at this and we just kept arguing.”
“I’m wondering now if I’m the a**hole.”
“Am I?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“YTA – huge one. 1. He’s not naked around the house; 2. Why do you actually care; 3. 87 degrees in the summer?! That’s torturous”
“4. Your ridiculous temperature requirements are the reason he’s wearing only underwear in the first d*mn place.”
“You want him to get dressed? Keep the house a humane temperature.” – Alloddscanteven
“This is his room, where he can spend the day naked if he wishes. Why does it bother you so much that he’s in his underwear in his own room ?”
“Knock on his door, and he’ll get dressed before he opens it – it’s the best solution for everyone.”
“YTA” – Waterslide33
“A teenager living at home has very little privacy. Their room is the only safe place they truly have. Why would want your son to be uncomfortable in his own room?”
“I do understand the need to save cost, I also live in Oklahoma; however, 85+ is a bit hot.”
“And he needs to cool off and relax. Let him be comfortable in his own space, please.”
“YTA.” – Drakmarr628
“YTA – I’m not trying to be rude here, but this isn’t how you treat someone you love.”
“You need to see a therapist and figure out why you need to control your son’s life down to the micromanagement level.”
“There is no good reason why him sitting in his own room, his safe space, the only physical space he can call HIS, bothers you whatsoever.”
“Go see a professional and repair what’s left of your relationship with your son. And use your godd*mn air conditioner.” – pianistafj
“There’s this thing… where you balll your hand into a fist and hit it lightly on the door to alert someone you’re there. yta and it’s too hot stop being cheap.” – kykiwibear
“This post is a joke, right?”
“If it was 85 degrees in my house, I can promise you I wouldn’t be wearing anything at all – not even underwear.”
“YTA” – _mmiggs_
“He’s in his room and his door is closed.”
“You should be knocking, and you should d*mn well have the respect for your 19-year-old to wait seventeen seconds while he pulls on pants in preparation for your entry.”
“Get. Over. Yourself.”
“YTA” – tosser9212
“YTA for policing how he dresses in his own room behind a closed door and for keeping your house at 87 degrees and not understanding why someone would be uncomfortable.”
“He’s 19 years old, stop trying to control his behavior. Certainly, you have bigger problems than this to contend with.” – 21stCenturyJanes
“YTA”
“What is the point of having AC if you’re going to use it to slow-cook your family?”
“If you’re trying to save on energy costs TURN IT OFF and open your windows and use fans. Or use it to actually cool the house.”
“(Opinion from an Aussie who has no AC and over 100F high temps for summer).”
“Also really struggling to work out how his nudity in his bedroom affects you. If you barge into an adult’s private room without warning, you’re probably gonna see skin. Just knock.” – 286Hog
“YTA. Let the adult man living in your home wear what he wants in his own room. He’s putting on clothes when he’s around people, so what is your actual problem.”
“And what is this ‘if we start knocking’ thing? Do you not knock when you go into his room? Are you those ‘no one has a right to privacy in my house’ parents?”
“And 85 is way too hot for most people. I lived in the desert, where it would routinely get over 110, and if my house was 80, it was almost unbearable.”
“He’s just trying to make the best of the crappy temperature situation-which is your right, as it’s your house and you pay the bills.”
“But let the guy hang out in his underwear in his own space.” – Very_Stable_Princess
“YTA. If he is in his own room and not wandering around in the common areas in his underwear then why is this a problem?”
“He is 19. You absolutely should always knock before entering his room – and don’t forget to wait until he says you can enter.”
“Why on earth can you not respect HIS PRIVACY!” – another_online_idiot
“YTA.”
“87 Fahrenheit is like 30 degrees, right? You are setting this high temperature in the summer and still complaining?”
“What is wrong with you? Between 20-22 degrees (68-72 Fahrenheit) is normal temperature, not 30 degrees!”
“(The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language identifies room temperature as around 20–22 °C (68–72 °F),[1]…”
“…while the Oxford English Dictionary states that it is “conventionally taken as about 20 °C (68 °F)”
“He is wearing clothes when he needs to interact with other people or needs to go common areas, so, what is the problem?”
“Also, you are not supposed to enter a teenage boy’s room without his permission.” – ThungstenMetal
“If the kid is hot & is respectful enough to put clothes on when he leaves or someone enters the room…. what exactly is your issue?”
“You don’t have to sit & watch him sit in his room. Why do you care?”
“eta — YTA — this is silly drama for no good reason.”
“If you’re going to keep the house temperature set at sweating an** off miserable then you should expect all your family to be wearing just their underwear.” – Alarming_Reply_6286
“Good boundaries build good relationships. You are stomping on privacy and boundaries and deteriorating your relationship with your son.”
“Unless your son has a medical condition where you would need to rescue him regularly… you should knock first, await an answer, and then only enter when you receive permission.”
“It doesn’t matter that he’s in his underwear in there. Hell, it wouldn’t matter if he were naked.”
“If you really do barge in, serves you right for being uncomfortable. You wouldn’t be uncomfortable if you waited.”
“As for ‘my house, my rules.’”
“Cool, you wanna take that logic a little further? Can the HOA come in any time because their neighborhood, their rules?”
“What about the mayor? His town, his rules.”
“The governor? Her state, her rules!”
“The feds? Their country, their rules!”
“Do you see how much better this goes when everyone respects each other’s space? How entering without permission is only reserved for safety concerns and needs a legal document allowing it?”
“Why don’t you treat your kid better? Why does it bother you that there could be a single space you aren’t in control of? Why do you feel entitled to your adult child’s room? Can he barge into yours?”
“Just maybe have some empathy for your own flesh and blood.” – SquishyButStrong
“YTA -“
“1. nothing in your home should be so critical you need to enter a room unannounced and if the situation warranted it I think seeing some undies are your smallest worry in the moment.”
“Just f*cking knock…”
“2. there are swimming trunks that are more breathable than underwear. You so upset buy him some ask him to wear them.”
“Get him a box fan too evaporative cooling is super helpful and less expensive than a compressor and forced air.”
“3. your house your temp I won’t begrudge you that, but you do not get to set everyone’s body temp.”
“suck it up don’t like the undies, make it so cold he has to wear pants…”
“…but what you cannot do is force your way into his personal space and demand how he dresses behind closed doors…” – noxiouskarn
His body, his choice.