It’s never easy being a working parent.
Daycare is outrageously expensive.
It can literally be equal to a monthly house payment.
So finding the right one is a miracle.
But it doesn’t come without issues.
Case in point…
Redditor CeleryKey9938 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for getting a daycare worker fired at my daughter’s center?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“AITA?”
“So my eight month old baby goes to daycare four days a week.”
“Before all the anti daycare parents come, this is my only form of childcare.”
“Anyways I love the center it’s very clean and well taken care of.”
“There’s an app where you get hourly updates which have never gone missed and you can request to see cameras whenever you want.”
“The center is very highly rated and has a long waiting list.”
“I like the girls that work there, but there’s one particular girl that I just don’t really like.”
“I didn’t care about her until one day when I was speaking to the director, I could see her holding my daughter and kissing all over her face.”
“Yes my daughter was smiling and looked happy but I was disgusted.”
“There’s a pandemic and I just felt it was too far.”
“I brought it up to the director and she turned around shocked and said she would talk to the worker.”
“I didn’t think it would be much of an issue moving forward.”
“But since I saw that I noticed she seems obsessed with my baby.”
“She’s always holding her and cuddling her.”
“I went back and looked through all the pictures they send and realized she’s literally in almost every single one.”
“Mind you there’s five teachers in the room and lots of babies.”
“I was picking up my daughter a few weeks ago and she wasn’t there.”
“I was speaking to another worker in the room and asked her who’s my daughter’s favorite.”
“She told me it was the girl and that my baby is her favorite and ‘her baby’ and no one else can hold her except for the girl.”
“It was an older women saying this with a smile but I was just more creeped out.”
“What sent me over the edge was when I was picking up my daughter last week who was asleep on the workers lap when I walked in and as she handed her to me.”
“She kissed my daughter on the forehead and said she was gonna miss her so much.”
“She literally looked sad.”
“Mind you there’s like a dozen other babies in the room too.”
“I went out to the director and told her my concerns and that I felt uncomfortable with the worker with my daughter.”
“I didn’t understand the specific fixation.”
“I recommended she get switched to another room because I didn’t want her around my daughter.”
“To my surprise when I was dropping off my daughter this morning the director called me into her office and let me know she ended up letting go the girl.”
“I felt justified until I told the story to my sister in law, my brothers wife.”
“She actually got upset and said she worked in a daycare throughout college and it’s normal to have a favorite baby and that she herself had a baby she loved in her center.”
“She said I’m an a**hole and that I overreacted and I shouldn’t have complained about something so dumb to a director since if they don’t fire her it’ll look bad on the company based on the type of report I made.”
“And that I should be grateful someone really loves my daughter.”
“Am I really the a**hole?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. You addressed the kissing and she didn’t stop.”
“I used to work at HeadStart and you would 100% get terminated for kissing on a child.”
“Also, the other worker reported the woman was calling her ‘my baby’ and would not let any other worker hold her. That’s not ok.” ~ SnazzySusieQ
“Exactly, OP asked for something totally reasonable — to have the worker moved to a different room.”
“So I don’t buy the whole ‘oh they had to fire her once there was a complaint or it would look bad.'”
“There was a perfectly good solution available that would have addressed OP’s concern.”
“The fact that it didn’t happen and that the girl was fired is clearly to do with last-straw type of concerns, or other complaints, or if the worker reacted badly and inappropriately when asked to move rooms and it escalated from there.”
“Absolutely NTA.” ~ sarita_sy07
“Yeah, I had a favorite child when I worked in church daycare but I never kissed her, that’s inappropriate.”
“I also didn’t single her out.”
“If she wanted to play with me that was fine, but I spent time with all the children and tried very hard not to show favoritism.”
“What OP is describing sounds very Allen v. Farrow to me, and I wouldn’t risk it.”
“Bottom line, OP said kissing the child is not okay and the daycare worker should be let go for that alone. NTA.” ~ Blondieonekenobi
“Yeah, as someone who was previously a camp counselor, there’s a huge difference between having a favorite kid that you love dearly and doing… whatever weird, possessive crap that woman was doing.”
“We’d casually refer to our specific campers (’cause they were broken up into groups) as ‘our kids,’ yeah.”
“But there was also only 1-2 of us working with each batch of 6-12 children, so it was just for convenience’s sake.”
“We’d also give ’em hugs sometimes if they wanted them, but we would never give them kisses.”
“That’s just… really weird to do for a child that isn’t yours and isn’t related to you in any way.”
“There were a lot of red flags behavior-wise in this post.”
“OP is absolutely not an AH for feeling creeped out by this employee exhibiting such obsessive and possessive behaviors towards her child.”
“Especially since the employee didn’t change her behavior re: the kissing after OP expressed discomfort the first time.”
“She was literally behaving like OP’s baby was her own.” ~ DumpstahKat
“NTA, you didn’t ask for them to fire her and what she was doing was totally inappropriate and I’m a pre school teacher.”
“It’s fine for them to have favorites but to the point where she won’t let anyone else with her IS sketchy.”
“I’ve seen stories of women stealing people’s children in this same way.”
“It’s not necessarily abuse but theres an extremely fine line between what is appropriate and what isn’t and this was crossing it.” ~ Double-Ad4986
“I want to be very clear that I don’t have kids, but my nephew is a toddler.”
“His daycare has a very similar setup as OP’s (app with photo updates, no cameras though) and a teacher that did favor him, but she never ever kissed on him or stopped others from holding him.”
“This post made me feel sick to my stomach as I read it.”
“OP, always trust your gut when it comes to your kids.”
“You didn’t make the decision to fire her, you didn’t ask for her to be fired-just for your child to go to another room.”
“The daycare made that decision, and it’s entirely possible she was let go because other parents or coworkers raised concerns about her as well. NTA.” ~ Ok-Aardvark-6742
“I used to work with kids ranging from 6 months to 12 years (nursery with an after school program) and I absolutely had favorites.”
“Some of those kids would give me massive sloppy kisses and cuddles (not gonna stop a baby from gumming my cheek ya know) but ultimately I was there to do a job and whilst I’d steal extra cuddles when I could I wasn’t territorial over them.”
“I remember one specific little girl one day ran to me as she was leaving and where I was expecting a hug she full on planted a big smacker on my lips.”
“I looked up at her mum thinking ‘oh god I’m gonna get yelled at’ but her mum was just like ‘oh I love how much she loves you guys.'”
“When parents are okay with it? Sure.”
“In this case, OP is NTA.”
“It sounds like the girl is just inexperienced with what’s appropriate, and while she was probably an excellent caregiver it’s something you need to learn.” ~ Nutmeg1729
“NTA. A highly rated daycare centre that has a long wait list wouldn’t fire an employee because one parent asked for the employee to be switched to another room.”
“Something else was going on.”
“My guess is your complaint is one of many issues they’ve had with that employee.” ~ imaguestage
“NTA. Also sounds like borderline kidnapping territory.”
“OP should contact the director and get the full reason for was fired for safety reasons.” ~ percythepenguin
According to Reddit, it sounds like OP did the right thing.
You can’t be too careful with your baby.
Nobody wants to get anybody fired, but protecting your baby is a must.