Training your pet is a way to show them love and respect. Making sure they understand clear rules is the best way to keep them safe.
However, some people are just not pet people.
Redditor whatthewhatthrowit encountered this very issue with her boyfriend. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for telling my (30F) BF (40M) his dogs are ruining my house and I’ve had it?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Ok…I’ve been dating my BF for about 9 months. The first few months his dogs stayed home with his roommate when he would stay over. Slowly he would have them with him and it would get late so they would stay over.”
“I got them bowls and was trying to be tolerant, as I don’t have dogs, nor do I allow my cats in the house.”
“It started to get more and more often and I started to not be ok with this.”
“The dogs aren’t trained. They’re 2 BIG dogs and a little tiny one. 3 total. They have accidents over night, they eat food off the counter, they get in the trash, they are just seriously not trained in the slightest.”
“I got to a point where I was losing my mind waking up in the morning stepping in pee or cleaning up poop and trash strung all over if we forgot to put it outside. I’ve seasoned meat and had it all ready to cook and more than once they’ve eaten the meat off the counter (I’m talking a plate of ribeyes, like $50 worth of meat). I’m not used to having to worry about putting it up if I go outside for a few.”
OP had to say something.
“I finally had to tell him I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to feel anger or hatred towards animals as it’s not their fault they’re not trained. I just can’t live like this.”
“I will add that he lives like that. That’s the reason I don’t stay at his place.”
“His bed is a dog bed. It’s not suitable for humans. He’s fine with dirty, torn up blankets and literal holes in his dirty mattress with springs exposed and foam everywhere from them tearing it up. He sleeps like that.”
“No f*cking way.”
“I’ve asked him to cut off his room to the rest of the house and make an acceptable place for us to sleep and I’d be happy to stay with him. Nope, he’s not willing to stop sleeping with them and giving them free reign to his room and bed.”
So, OP stood up for herself.
“I told him they can’t come to my house overnight anymore. I had to rip out the carpet and put in hardwood flooring to repair what they’ve done at my place and make it acceptable to live in without it smelling like the pound when I walked in.”
“He’s super offended. He can’t believe I’m making him leave his dogs at home if he’s staying at my place. This is nuts to me.”
“He and his parents think I’m the devil and a dog hater for this. Are they right?”
“I think I might be the a**hole for not being more accommodating to the dogs, as I knew the situation when we started dating. AITA?”
OP added some edits.
“EDIT—since there have been many comments about being an a**hole about having outdoor cats…
“I live in the country. I have a small farm and I have 2 barn cats. They have access to a heated area and are very well taken care of. I love my kitties. They’ve been fully vaccinated, both neutered and happy babes.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. I am a dog person. Love them. But you don’t take your untrained dog to someone’s house and let them damage it.” ~ scrapqueen
“Exactly! My grandmother has untrained dogs and always tries to say that training them will ruin their personalities meanwhile one has its whole face in a chip bag and the other is peeing on the floor.”
“People who let untrained dogs do whatever they want are why people hate dogs. They can be just as loving and full of personality when you train them well and teach them right and wrong.”
“Side note: who leaves nice quality meat out on a counter all night? That is a bad idea in so many ways and you would get a much better steak if you left it on a plate with a grate in the fridge overnight instead.” ~ ArtfullySnarky
“She’s not leaving the meat out all night! She pulls the meat out and leaves it on the counter while she goes outside for a few minutes (check the grill, have a smoke, get the mail, whatever). In those few minutes, the dogs grab it.” ~ The_Final_Analysis
“Oh I totally read that wrong. My bad, lol. That does make the dogs even worse though. I feel bad for them, its not their fault their owner doesn’t care enough to train them.” ~ ArtfullySnarky
Most agreed OP and her boyfriend weren’t compatible.
“This relationship is never going to work, OP. End it now. You have different values about animals and cleanliness. The fact you won’t even stay at his place says it all. NTA for getting frustrated, but he will choose the dogs over you every time.” ~ Far_Administration41
“Honestly, I was seriously surprised when op admitted they don’t let their own cats in the house. I don’t think this couple is going to last much longer.”
“Regardless if the dogs are trained or not, she doesn’t want them there and she had the right to ask them not be there. What do you wanna bet he’s so pissed off about this not just because he knows she’s in the right for asking but because he knows if he tries to leave them alone again they’ll go full Hooch and eat through his doors and figure out how to drink his beer?”
“What’s so stupid is this is easily correctable behavior. A month of training maximum would get them to stop most of these behaviors. He’s had all pandemic to try. He’s just too lazy and I bet he also wants op to control his dogs for him so he doesn’t have to put in the effort.” ~ LittlestEcho
OP is right for caring about her space and the dogs.