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Bride Upset After Dying Fiancé’s Parents Plan To Crash Their Honeymoon Since They Paid For It

Couple on the beach
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Redditor Teacher0002 is experiencing a uniquely tumultuous time in her life.

Her unique circumstances have her rightfully cherishing alone time with her fiancé even more than one typically would.

Recently her in-laws surprised she and her fiancé not only with a honeymoon, but with their presence on that very trip.

The Original Poster (OP) found herself confused as to how to handle her unique set of circumstances, driving her to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

She asked:

“AITA for being upset that my in laws are coming on my honeymoon?”

She went out to explain her compelling circumstances:

“So here is the low down: my [28-year-old female] fiance [27-year-old male] and I met our sophomore year of college and started dating post grad.”

“We have been together for two years. My fiance was not close with his family growing up at all. In the two years we have been dating I have only met his parents like 3 times.”

“That doesn’t bother me, like I said, he has a lot of resentment due to his upbringing and just doesn’t particularly like spending much time with them.”

“Nothing bad happened to him on their part but outside of his basic needs being taken care of there was little emotional support.”

“My fiance was given a terminal diagnosis a few months ago with a two year life expectancy. Treatments are not an option so we are just living life to the fullest.”

“After he learned of his illness he and his family have gotten a bit closer in that they see each other more often.”

“His family (very very wealthy) gifted us our honeymoon as our wedding gift. My husband and I chose puerto Vallarta because we wanted a relaxing resort vacation and to go snorkeling together.”

“One last boujee trip for our bucklist. But – his parents also chose the dates of the honeymoon without asking us.”

“So they chose to book the trip so that his birthday was during it. Then they said they wanted to spend his last birthday with him, so they also will be joining us.”

“They did get their own suite at the resort, and both of his siblings got rooms at the resort too. Dont get me wrong, I am really grateful they are gifting us this experience.”

“But im annoyed they deliberately made it during a time that they could conveniently join our HONEYMOON.”

“I know he is sick, and I know they want to spend time with him. My fiance won’t say anything to them because he doesn’t want to fight with anyone during his final time here (which I understand)!”

“I think I just wish they could have booked a separate trip for the family to go on rather than during our honeymoon, a time that we could have spent together alone…”

“…which honestly we get rarely these days. Between hospital visits and seeing friends and checking off things he wants to experience, we are pretty busy!”

“Like I mentioned earlier, money is not an issue and could easily have been made into a separate trip, but they CHOSE to make the trip during his birthday so they had the excuse to join in.”

“When they told us that they were also coming on the trip, I said that was a little strange.”

“Now they are mad at me for not understanding how important it is for them to spend my fiances birthday with him.”

“The entire family thinks that I am wrong for being upset about this. His parents have said I will barely even see them so I shouldn’t be upset.”

“But we are all staying at the same resort, with rooms right next to each other.”

“So, AITA for telling my in laws it’s weird that they are coming on my honeymoon with us?”

“ETA: our honeymoon is delayed. Our wedding is in February. We had originally asked for a honeymoon to be a month later, in March.”

“They chose to make it in June, so that his birthday would fall in it. Also, we do intend to take a separate trip!”

“We cant afford much, or take much time off of work, but we will try to do something!!”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“Here’s a hot take: this is a vacation. Treat it as such. If they’re paying, great.”

“Enjoy it. Then go on your own honeymoon with just your spouse.”

“Overall while it’s a weird situation, I get that they’re desperate to squeeze out every last enjoyable second they can before they lose their child. NAH” – ironchef8000

“I’m sorry to hear of your partner’s diagnosis.”

“That said, if your partner’s family is paying for the trip, you don’t really get to dictate the terms of the trip (as with any other gift).”

“Does it suck that they offered a honeymoon trip – which most people would reasonably assume would be the two of you – and then planned to join? Yeah, sure.”

“My advice? Enjoy what sounds like a very nice trip, then plan a separate honeymoon.”

“If the timing is important to you and they planned the trip at the time that you and your partner really wanted a solo honeymoon trip, it’s fair to ask for the trip to be another time…”

…to allow you two to enjoy a honeymoon (that you’d pay for yourselves).”

“NTA, I get wanting an actual honeymoon trip, but again, doesn’t have to be this trip – so I wouldn’t push that point.”

“Hopefully you can all give each other some grace in a really sad circumstance.” – co_carolelaine

“NAH. This situation is not the typical honeymoon situation.”

“I think it’s understandable that you’re annoyed but it’s also understandable that his family would want to make some great memories with him before they lose him.”

“The worst thing that could happen would be for your husband to have to witness you and his family fight over him and how distressing that would be for him.”

“Those aren’t the kind of memories anyone wants to be making.” – IamIrene


“Just stop calling it your honeymoon and consider it a family trip. Schedule and pay for your own honeymoon with just the two of you.”

“It’s ok to be frustrated, but considered it’s a massively expensive GIFT from them, I would swallow the frustration and be grateful for the free vacation.”

“Just do something else with just the two of you for your honeymoon.” – andromache97


“It’s totally understandable why you are upset. This is your honeymoon and it should be what you & your husband want.”

“Unfortunately, this is his family’s way of making amends for not being there for him emotionally as he was growing up.”

“They should have asked you and your husband what you wanted. But they aren’t being rational. Grieving often begins before the loss occurs, and can make people make emotional decisions.”

“It sounds like your husband really does not want to push the issue. Because of that, and because of the importance of keeping the peace in the time he has left…”

“I’d plan a separate honeymoon with him and not tell any family members. If you’re able to do this prior to the family trip, it may make the trip with them more enjoyable.”

“I’d also recommend talking with a grief counselor during this process if you’re not already. If his family is trying to make up for lost time, this may not be the last issue that arises.”

“Thoughts are with you OP, this is a very difficult situation.” – retrozebra

“NAH – I get that this is supposed to be your honeymoon and therefore don’t want the in laws around.”

“But if I’m reading this right you are getting married around your husband’s bday and as such will be gone on his bday, and his parent’s want to spend what might be his last bday with him.”

“Could you see about not having rooms right next to each other. Because if that’s the case you literally might only see them when at designated meet up times (ex, dinner).”

“Or IDK how much vacation time and disposable money you have or anything like that, but if it’s possible maybe use this as a family vacation…”

“…and then fly from there to your actual honeymoon vacation or even look into staying a few days longer than what the in laws will be there for.” – judgingA-holes


“Wow! This is a hard one. I would step back from calling this a honeymoon and maybe treat it more as a family vacation (or celebration).”

“The very last thing your fiancé needs or wants is to be a cause of familial tension in his final months.”

“You mention his family is quite wealthy. Perhaps you could talk with them and your fiancé (and his doctors)…”

“…about what’s going to happen over the next year or so and plan several bucket list adventures or activities for him – some with just the two of you and they may join in others.”

“This could include visits to childhood haunts or long lost friends.”

“Take his health into consideration so perhaps a bit more active early on and maybe more cruises later. View it as a celebration of his life – not a farewell tour.”

“And continually reevaluate the plans to make sure it’s all positive rather than overwhelming. Just being there for him is what’s important – not where you go.”

“I’m so sorry you’re struggling through this. I certainly wish you the very best of luck and as much quality time with your fiancé as possible.”

“I lost my sister last summer – she had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer ~1 year prognosis.”

“We planned multiple outings with her – especially with her niece, but they never really came to fruition as the end came so much faster than anyone thought.”

“While I wish we’d had more time, I was deeply touched and honored to help her through her struggles too. Even more meaningful than the trips would’ve been.”

“Truly cherish and celebrate the time you have left together now – especially the quality time.” – AppropriateScience71

No a**holes here, in my book. We wish this family the best on their nuptials and getaway.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)