At this point, we all know that there are some disabilities that aren’t always visible.
But does that mean we remember?
Redditor Swimming-Contact6122 unfortunately lost one of her legs and now goes through life with a prosthetic.
The Original Poster (OP) is particularly self-conscious about her prosthetic, so she typically goes around in long pants so it’s not visible.
The OP recently needed to sit in the disabled/elderly/pregnant seat of a bus and was told off for being a “lazy child.”
This interaction ultimately drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA for not giving up my seat and embarrassing the woman who demanded my seat?”
She went on to explain.
“A few years ago, I [16-year-old Female] lost my left leg in an accident.”
“I’ve been using a prosthetic leg since then, and because my family is well off, it is a pretty advanced one to the point where it just looks like I just have two normal legs whenever I wear long trousers.”
“Which I usually do because I’m really self-conscious about showing my prosthetic.”
“These days, I can pretty much do anything I like without issues, walking, running, going up stairs, etc.”
“The main issue is keeping my balance when there are sudden changes in movement in places like trains and buses. Which is where the topic of this post comes in.”
“I was riding the train and sat down in the seat reserved for disabled, elderly, and pregnant women.”
“It was pretty busy, so there were no other seats available, and a few stops later a woman came up to me telling me I needed to move because she needs that seat and I shouldn’t be sitting there.”
“I told her I was sorry, but I needed the seat myself.”
“She got all argumentative that I just need to get up because the seat is meant for the elderly, and I’m just a lazy child who is more than capable of standing.”
“I again apologized and said I really needed the seat myself. She left and got the train conductor, who also told me to get up from the seat.”
“I was really done with being treated this way now, so I rolled up my trouser leg, showed my prosthetic, and told her I wasn’t going to move.”
“She suddenly got very red-faced and mumbled something before she got off at the next station.”
“That’s why I always wear long trousers so nobody can see or has to know.”
“AITA? I could have said I have a prosthetic right away, but it’s a really touchy subject for me and it makes me feel very self-conscious.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA”
“We’re all built differently. I’d have just pulled up my pant leg and been like, ‘you f*cking serious?’ But you did it differently and more politely than would have done.”
“You cannot possibly be an a**hole for handling it more graciously than most would.” – He_Who_Is_Person
“I would’ve taken it off and swung it around whilst yelling at her.”
“Seriously though, what’s up with people thinking that young people can’t possibly be disabled or in pain? I had a friend of a friend in college who had to get surgery as she’s deaf in one ear.”
“One of her professors wouldn’t accommodate her. She showed up to class with her hair messy and the part that was shaved for surgery, with fresh stitches on her head and all.”
“You could legit be dying, and old people think you can walk it off/you’re exaggerating/you’re lying/it can’t possibly be that bad.”
“Imagine if we treated the elderly that way. It wouldn’t be fair, right?” – Sparklingemeralds
“NTA – No one is obligated or entitled to know your disability. You shouldn’t have to “prove” that you belong in a disabled space. Some disabilities are less obvious or even invisible.”
“This woman and especially the train conductor had no right to question you this way. It was inappropriate and unprofessional.” – CrimsonKnight_004
“NTA. We don’t need to reveal our disabilities or conditions to every rando. The train conductor is a proper official, so you did what is necessary.” – NatashOverWorld
“NTA.”
“Anyone who wants to take things to that degree to try to get you in trouble needs to be put in their place.”
“You are not required to tell the world your situation. She forced your hand. Maybe she will think twice next time.” – Fairmount1955
“NTA. I’d be fuming that either she or the conductor just assumed and INFORMED you that you don’t need the seat.”
“They aren’t entitled to know your disability and should, at the most, ASK you if you can stand up, to which the answer is ‘no, I am unable to stand for lengthy periods on moving vehicles.’”
“The end.” – Raedriann
“NTA, you shouldn’t have to talk about your health/medical status to strangers. People need to check their privilege.”
“Just because it’s uncommon for a young person to have a disability doesn’t mean you should assume any teenager sat there is doing it selfishly.”
“I’ve seen groups of teenagers/chavs make sure others move for elderly, pregnant, or disabled people. They may have hoodies on, but 99% still have a moral compass.” – greenapple_redapple
“NTA. And please complain about the conductor. Invisible disabilities suck.”
“Others will argue that complaining is overkill, but it’s not. It’s education that we, the invisible disabled, desperately need.”
“He may have learned his lesson by your interaction, but my amateur analysis says there’s still way too many a**holes out there. Complaining reinforces the message.”
“Sorry this happened to you. What really sucks that no one else gets is that we already feel bad enough having to use these accommodations.”
“After 20 years, there’s still a bit of imposter syndrome whenever I use my Placard because I’m not in a wheelchair.”
“I admire your restraint. If I had a prosthesis, I’d have taken it off and beaten her senseless with it.” – AdOne8433
“Several years ago, I [38-year-old Female] worked with a [55-year-old Male] who was missing his entire left leg – it had been amputated up to his left butt cheek.”
“He has got bone cancer at 22 [years old], and they had to cut it off to stop it from spreading further into his body.”
“He had lived a rough life, understandably, after dealing with chronic depression and shame.”
“But when I met him, he was an extremely happy and positive person and had found peace with his situation.”
“Anyways, we worked next door to a physical therapy office that had many elderly patients.”
“My coworker didn’t always park in the handicap space because he felt capable of using his crutches and was thoughtful enough to spare the space for others.”
“However, if he were having pains in his leg/phantom leg, he would occasionally use the spot.”
“One day, he parks in the spot, and the head PT storms into our store a few hours later and demands to know which one of us parked in the handicapped spot.”
“He had disabled and handicapped patients who needed the spot, and how dare we abuse the spot!”
“Before I could interject, as I knew the PT fairly well, my coworker jumped up from behind the counter, grabbed his crutches, and said he would move his vehicle.”
“When he came around the corner with only one leg, the PT went white and stammered, frozen in place, trying to backpedal.”
“My coworker moved his car, and the PT just stood in silence staring at me, absolutely mortified! My coworker came back inside and said ‘my apologies for abusing the space’.”
“It was a hysterical moment to watch someone have f*cked up SO bad!!!”
“Btw, absolutely NTA!” – keydashian
“So frigging not NTA – it is wholly unacceptable that she made you go to this level.”
“You are disabled and you absolutely should not be humiliated into undressing to show some @$$hole the circumstances you live with every day.” – MojoInAtlanta
“NTA – invisible illnesses exist, yes, you can physically show her your prosthetic, but you shouldn’t have to.”
“And there are many other people who can’t ‘show’ their illness like COPD or cystic fibrosis for one example out of many.”
“There is a fair likelihood that if you casually said, ‘I have a disability,’ and she would have walked away understanding.”
“But an equal likelihood she would have demanded some kind of proof or demand that as a teenager you can’t be disabled or some other ridiculousness.”
“You did nothing wrong, keep on trucking.” – TheSharkInvestigator
“I have multiple friends with ‘invisible’ disabilities, and the thought of them ever being treated like this pisses me off. This is totally NTA 1,000%.”
“Also, I don’t know if you have friends with similar situations, but I hope you do, or at least good friends who help you know that they just see you at the end of the day.”
“One of my college friends had a limb difference (his “nub” he was born with), and the stories he came up with to mess with people when they first met him were hilarious.”
“He was able to grow up with this difference, and it was just a part of him in his eyes and all of his friends.”
“I can only imagine how adapting later in life, especially in a world that puts emphasis on looking a certain way, would be.”
“I hope you can get to the point where your emotional state surrounding what was likely an incredibly traumatic experience can match your physical recovery!”
“And if you don’t have people around you who are cool with it, I promise things can and likely will get better as you get older.”
“Good luck, and keep giving crazies like this hell if they mess with you ❤️” – Ill-Instruction4273
Like the last comment said, give ‘em hell, OP.