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Redditor Balks After Coworker Blames Them For His Massive Overspending On Work Trip Hotel

Frustrated man on the phone in front of his computer.
Thomas Barwick/Getty Images

Having to constantly rely on others can be a very slippery slope.

Most of the time, there is always someone who is willing to help you and doesn’t see anything wrong in doing so.

What they might not be aware of is that always being at someone’s beck and call can result in their being something of a crutch and can be very problematic when this individual is forced to deal with something all on their own.

A recent Redditor and their work colleague were selected to participate in a conference, where the accommodation did not come cheap.

On the day booking opened, the original poster (OP) was asked by this colleague to help them book their room, which the OP was unable to do.

As a result, the OP’s colleague found themselves spending far more money than they had planned and placed the blame for this solely on the OP.

Wondering if they truly were the one at fault, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for allegedly causing my coworker to lose out on $4,000?”

The OP explained why their colleague blamed them for the larger-than-expected price tag the conference wound up costing them.

“My coworker and I have been chosen to attend a work-sponsored international conference at the end of the year.”

“As the conference has 1100+ attendees, the workshops and discounted hotel rooms fill up/sell out pretty quickly.”

“I’ve been monitoring the conference website daily and even shared the site with my coworker.”

“On the day the registration opened/discounted hotel rooms became available, I texted my coworker early in the morning to give a heads up.”

“My coworker replied to my text asking if I could book him a room, to which I replied I couldn’t because the hotel required a lot of info that I didn’t have.”

“When I got into work, he was visibly upset.”

“He showed me a printed invoice for a hotel room that he had booked on a third-party travel site that added up to $4,000 and was non-refundable (the discounted price I paid was around $1800).”

“In addition, he had the conference website open and was complaining that the link to the discounted hotel rate was not visible.”

“I was in shock as this coworker prides himself on being the least impulsive/fiscally responsible person in the office.”

“I didn’t want to upset him further, so I offered to help him look up the cancellation policies for the booking company.”

“He became increasingly upset, and finally, I asked if he wanted me just to leave him be to figure it out.”

“He raised his voice, ‘Yeah, leave me alone!'”

“Later on in the day, I attempted to check in on him, to which he ignored me.”

“When I went to turn in my travel info to our boss, my boss mentioned that my coworker had canceled his reservation with the booking site and was waiting to see how much he could recuperate.”

“It’s been three days, and today I confronted my coworker to talk about what happened.”

“He angrily replied, ‘If you aren’t going to help me to get my $4,000 back, we have nothing to talk about’.”

“I was in disbelief as it sounded like he is blaming me for his actions.”

“I feel really bad for him possibly losing out on this much money but AITA?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for their colleague spending $4k on their hotel room.

Everyone agreed that the OP did nothing wrong, and it seemed like their colleague was just looking for someone to blame for his own mistakes.


“Why didn’t he just do what you did and book it himself?”

“You were nice enough to give him a heads up.”- Little-Martha31204


“You’re not responsible for his poor decision-making.”

“He had access to all the same information as you, and you even pointed him in the right direction.”

“Why he chose to book through someone else or try and blame you for his apparent impatience is beyond me.”

“NTA.”- Binge_Gaming

“Time to have a meeting with your supervisor.”

“Screenshot and print the text exchange and present it to your manager.”

“He/she/they need to deal with your coworker.”

“Tell them exactly what has occurred since the site went live.”

“Your coworker’s inability to book a room in a discounted block is NOT your fault or issue.”


“And if it continues, you need to go to HR.”- Beck2010


“Your co-worker is a child.”

“Exactly ZERO parts of this are your doing or fault.”

“This is 100% their doing and their mess to either clean up or live with.”- 1u53r3dd1t


“Come on.”

“You researched well in advance.”

“You found something.”

“Instead of keeping it yourself, you shared the link and messaged when it opened.”

“That itself is above and beyond.”

“You couldn’t book for his cause of details.”

“He isn’t your responsibility.”

“He needs to take accountability for his own actions instead of blaming you.”- phoenix_ekawa


“Come on.”

“You researched well in advance.”

“You found something. Instead of keeping it to yourself, you shared the link and messaged when it opened.”

“That itself is above and beyond.”

“You couldn’t book for his cause of details.”

“He isn’t your responsibility.”

“He needs to take accountability for his own actions instead of blaming you.”- phoenix_ekawa

“NTA, he is the AH though.”

“There was no way for you to reserve his room for them.”

“They should know that.”

“You gave him heads up, and he failed/could not do it.”

“Not your bad at all.”

“He needs to grow up and stop acting like a child.”- drownigfishy

“NTA, it sounds like your coworker is upset about what happened, but really it’s their own fault.”

“I would just give this person some space and see how they’re feeling in the future.”-ShowMeYourWifesA**


“You’re not his travel agent.”

“You already did him a favor by telling him that the site had opened; you didn’t have to do that.”-Individual_Ad_9213


“Your coworker is projecting on you.”

“Seems like because they made a mistake, they are trying to pass the blame on a semi-sub-conscious level and you seem to be the easy target at the moment.”- Maleficent_Owl9248

“NTA, and I would drop the topic from now on – as others have said, this is all on him, and I don’t understand why you’re feeling bad about his poor decisions.”- fruskydekke

“Why would you need to help him negotiate reimbursement from your common employer?”

“Are you his mother or his assistant?”

“Not your problem.”

“NTA.”- lessa_flux

“NTA unless you gave him the 3rd party link, but it sounds like you didn’t.”

“He’s a grown man. He can figure this out.”

“You did nothing wrong.”- pange_the_adventurer


“He lost that money himself.”

“Did you force him to use a 3rd party site?”

“Did you tell him to book it right away?”

“Did you tell him not to research anything?”


“Then stop beating yourself up for something you didn’t cause and had no control over.”-Altruistic_Isopod_11


“I’m really confused as to why this is your problem.”

“Unless you were assigned to book people’s reservations, this is not your problem specifically.”

“I have never been on a work trip that wasn’t booked and paid for by my company.”

“Then again, I haven’t been on many of those, so maybe my situation is the rare one?”-NewZookeepergame9808

“NTA and I don’t even understand his argument about HOW you lost him 4k.”

“He asked you to book him a room. You said you couldn’t.”

“You gave him a link.”

“Theoretically, what did he want you to do?”

“I’m almost certain he is mad at himself but taking it out on an easy target.”

“Leave him alone.”- Huge_Put8244


“But also, stop checking in on him.”

“It’s not your responsibility, and by constantly checking in, you assume some responsibility, at least via perception.”

“He’s a big boy. he can do it himself.”- hazelowl

“NTA, you texted him in the AM to book his reservation.”

“After that, it’s not your problem.”

“He’s a grown adult acting like a child.”- PHARTBOI

“NTA unless booking his room is part of your work responsibilities.”- Theodora1976

“NTA, but leave him alone and stop checking on him.”

“He clearly doesn’t want your help.”- Independent-Oil5695

“NTA, but I’m curious about how you wrote this.”

“You said you were ‘chosen’ to attend this event.”

“Is it mandatory?”

“And if so, why are the two of you paying out of pocket to attend this?”

“Your employer should be footing the bill for this if that’s the case.”- North_Comb9994

It’s hard to see how the OP’s colleague could possibly think they were the one to blame.

As it seemed to be their lack of tech-savvy and attention to detail that landed them in this mess.

One only hopes they will be able to get some of their money back, and they might be a little more careful with these matters going forward.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.