Redditor Secure_Profile_2864 recently got married.
The Original Poster (OP) and their husband had a substantial amount of leftover food, even after offering their guests to-go boxes.
However, the OP later learned that their leftovers were raided by their new sister-in-law without permission.
This drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) where they asked:
“AITA for not wanting the share my wedding left overs with my SIL”
They went on to explain.
“AITA or am I just being petty over my SIL raiding my wedding leftovers.”
“So my wedding was a Saturday and we had guests in from out of town leaving on Sunday…”
“…so we had MIL take the leftovers to her house to store until we could make room and freeze any leftover cookies.”
“I easily had eight trays of food, ten boxes of cupcakes and three trays of cupcakes left.”
“We arrived Monday after the wedding to retrieve our stuff to take to our house only to be informed that we were now down to three food trays, three boxes of cookies, and some cupcakes.”
“I was furious but bit my tongue until a couple of days later. Turns out the SIL went and raided our stuff, taking food and cookies to take home with her.”
“Keep in mind I allowed people to take togo stuff from the wedding and expected what we took home was ours.”
“The same day we picked up our stuff, we also received a phone call she wanted more of our cookies and cupcakes to take to work.”
The OP was left to wonder,
“AITA for getting pissed off and causing a fight with my husband after only being married a few days?”
The OP gave us some additional context.
“The food was packed up and taken to MIL’s house following the reception because she had the room at the time to keep it for us, knowing we would not be able to get there until Monday to pick it up.”
“Had the SIL asked, I would have been more than willing to share. It was a decent amount of food and sweets.”
“I’m upset that she didn’t ask us, took it upon herself to help herself and then had to nerve to ask for more. I’m not a selfish person, but I was upset when I wanted to get something it was gone.”
“I’ve said to my husband many times while we were dating about his sister’s behavior because this isn’t the only time she has acted entitled…”
“…and he just blows it off, maybe because he knows how his family is. Don’t get me wrong, I love my in-laws, but sometimes they really overstep their boundaries”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA I could see her taking a tray or two of food, but she took five trays of food and seven boxes of cookies in 1 day, if that’s correct ?”
“You don’t take more than half the food that someone else paid for without asking; that’s just rude.” – ckptry
“NTA, for sure! You paid for the food; you decide who gets the leftovers. SIL is an entitled AH. Draw the line in the sand now, or it will only get worse.”
“If your spouse doesn’t back you on this and address his family’s line crossing (and it’s his job, not yours), then he’s an AH, too.” – MabsMessenger
“NTA this is just not done. It is consulted beforehand. And usualy if even the close family doesn’t offer, you don’t even ask.”
“And one thing is to think maybe you are entitled to take without asking.”
“Ok you might act on this and take one ration of each, not polish more than a half of what was left and then ask for even more.”
“It almost sounds like the mother-in-law said to her daughter, What on earth they will do with this stuff you take it… I mean, a mother of the groom could probably not think twice and ‘help’ her son.”
“Or a huge spoiled prince syndrome that the sister has…..” – icepeak12222222
“NTA. Did you have plans for all the items? If so, she needs to replace them.”
“If there was a casual feel that people can take things home at the wedding, maybe she was operating under that assumption.”
“You’re running high on wedding emotions – congrats btw! – and this soured the afterglow. Of course, you’re angry she didn’t ask, and she just took. And that’s ok!” – SnooHesitations9269
“That is beyond rude, and I would probably let SIL know that you’d had plans for the food from YOUR wedding.”
“Perhaps when it is her birthday or Christmas, you include a note that says, ‘your gift was the cookies and cupcakes from our wedding’.”
“MIL didn’t even have the decency to contact you first and ask if it is okay. They were in her fridge so she should have said to SIL you can’t take without checking with you.”
“I’d make sure never to have MIL or SIL alone in your home!” – IamMaggieMoo
“NTA. It sounds like SIL took a LOT of food, food that you and your new husband paid for.”
“While it sounds like there was a ton leftover (had you really wanted ten boxes of cupcakes?), that doesn’t mean that anyone could take whatever they wanted whenever…”
“…(since they were told they could take it at the wedding, and this was after the wedding). I think you should have asked what you wanted to keep and how much SIL could take before she did.”
“On the other hand, I do think that it would be best to ere on the side of it being a miscommunication and not have been done with malice and letting it go after perhaps a simple explanation to SIL…”
“…that you’d planned to keep the food and wish she would have asked first (maybe she considered the wedding weekend to be included, or MIL didn’t want to bother you…”
“…and / or that there was so much food that would seem to go to waste if not packed up properly or eating soon and thought eaten was better than tossed, etc).” – fallingintopolkadots
“NTA. It sounds as if you had a lot of leftover food. She had no right to just take the food YOU paid for. if she had asked would you have given more?”
“You need to put your foot down now and set some boundaries otherwise, this will continue” – Tall1SF
“NTA OP, and since your husband doesn’t appear to have your back on this, I’d suggest going to marriage counseling, or the next thing y’all will be discussing is alimony.”
“Just going by what you said, your SIL Is so entitled that she thinks it’s okay to take copious amounts of food without asking for permission first…”
“…which makes her a huge AH.” – Jaded-Permission-324
“NTA. Your husband is spineless. It’s not too late to rethink this marriage, tbh.”
“This is how it’s going to be now and in the future should you ever get into confrontations and arguments with his side of the family.”
“I’ve been there. It is not worth it.” – a**chekk [username censored]
“NTA. Our wedding dinner was a barbecue, and my BIL took ALL the leftover meat home. Nothing else, just the expensive meat.”
“I was furious. OP, I would 100% bill her for everything she took.” – RepulsiveInterview44
“NTA but understand that this is going to set the tone for your relationship going forward. I would absolutely call her out on taking the food that you paid for without permission.”
“It’s effectively stealing, and I would tell MIL that you are disappointed she didn’t do what she promised” – hello_reddit1234
“NTA. I would give SIL an invoice for the cost of all of the food that she stole.”
“I would absolutely expect her to pay for the food because she bulldozed over you by the sheer volume that she took without permission.”
“It is one thing to take a reasonable amount, but she is like a locust wiping out your leftovers.”
“Or if you want to really embarrass her, send the invoice to her work stating that apparently you provided catering for an office function, and they need to pay the invoice.”
“Your SIL has taken greed and audacity to an all-new level.”
“And you already have a husband problem with the ink hardly dry on your marriage certificate. Your husband has clearly shown you that he does not have your back where his family is concerned.”
“This will not get any better.” – Freya1957
“Who DOES that? Absolutely NTA. Plus, she’s taking it to WORK, she not even eating it?!”
“If she works in like unhoused outreach or something charitable, I’d maybe let it go, but based on the situation of her not even asking my money is on that not being the case.” – MildAsSriracha
“NTA for NOT wanting to share food you paid for.”
“However, you chose a man who has no spine (going by comments). So you have to decide if you are willing to be the “BAD guy” with your in-laws to set the rules of behavior.”
“Or if you want to be a good gal along with hubby’s good boy and keep taking it on the chin.”
“You made a choice to marry him, knowing who he was. Did you expect him to change magically? If you did, that was pretty foolish of you.” – MountainMidnight9400
That’s not an inexpensive theft.
What do you think, readers? Let us know in the comments below.