Being a teenage parent is a seriously difficult situation.
Kids having kids need all the help they can get.
So when others step up to pitch in, a little humility and thanks can go a long way.
Or at the very least a little respect.
The family situation is already strained with the stress of the pregnancy.
So it may be a good idea to keep things peaceful.
Case in point…
Redditor Throwawa-y1058 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my son’s pregnant girlfriend that if she keeps disrespecting me she can get the F out of my house?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (43 F[emale]) have a son (18 M[ale]) who got his high school girlfriend (18 F) pregnant.”
“It was obviously an unplanned pregnancy and it resulted in my son’s girlfriend getting kicked out of her house by her mom.”
“I never liked this girl, but I obviously couldn’t let her live on the streets now that she’s carrying my grandchild, so I let her live in our house.”
“Now both she and my son gave up on college for the near future and my son is now working a full-time job so he can provide for them in the future.”
“The problem is that his girlfriend refuses to do anything, absolutely anything all day, she just locks herself up in my son’s room eating snacks and watching videos on (my son’s) computer.”
“I need to drag her out to just help me with cooking and to clean up at least the room she’s staying in.”
“But she’s always b*tching about how I’m working her like a slave even though she’s already in constant pain cause of her pregnancy and then she’ll come crying to my son about my treatment of her.”
“Mind you, she doesn’t have a high-risk pregnancy (I know that cause me and my husband are the ones fully paying for her medical controls).”
“And I don’t put her up to do tasks like cleaning the toilet or anything similar.”
“However she really crossed the line when after I got dressed up she asked me where I was going.”
“When I told her that I was getting ready for church, her exact response was: ‘I didn’t know there were churches that were allowing people looking like striptease dancers in.'”
“At that point, I absolutely had it with her and I told her straight that I didn’t care who TF she is, I wouldn’t allow her to disrespect me while living in my house.”
“And if she can’t keep her attitude in check then she can get the hell out of my home.”
“She pretty much started crying at that point and immediately called my son.”
“Who later on also gave me attitude for treating his girlfriend like garbage when I don’t know what she’s going through (eye roll).”
“My husband also thinks that while she was definitely out of line with that, she was probably only acting out because of pregnancy hormones and that I could’ve handled the situation better without straight up threatening to leave her homeless.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. You should make it clear to your son that his girlfriend needs to earn her keep ASAP.” ~ GroundbreakingTwo201
“Completely agree.”
“There are very simple things she can do to help around the house. NTA.” ~ Ok-Ebb4485
“To be fair, being pregnant and all, that might not be realistic at the moment.”
“G[irl]F[riend] should be doing chores without complaint, and OP’s son better be busting his a** to earn ends money to move out.” ~ GroundbreakingTwo201
“Assuming she’s still a few months away from giving birth she could at least be doing some online certifications to make finding a job down the line easier.”
“The impression I’m getting is she’s going to expect to be taken care of and not have to do anything herself.”
“Hope she grows out of this.” ~ Pupniko
“Maybe she can’t find a job now because she’s pregnant, but many, if not most, women are already working when they find out they are pregnant and yet are somehow, shocking as it may sound, able to continue working during their pregnancies.
“And then going home and taking care of their s*it there.”
“Yet this G[irl]F[riend], who is having a normal (not high-risk) pregnancy, can’t even clean up after herself?
And has the sheer audacity to bite the hand that literally feeds (and houses and provides medical care for) her?
“And OP’s son is honestly just as bad as his GF.”
“After everything, his parents are doing for him, his girlfriend, and their unborn child, this little d**k allows his GF to be a complete and utter freeloader, allows her to continually disrespect his mother in her own home, and then tops it off by getting mad at mom for it?”
“Oh hell no.”
“OP, draw a line in the sand now. For both of them.” ~ Baldassm
“OP needs to turn off the internet.”
“She probably bought the laptop for her son, so she needs to demand that back as well.”
“Not sure who’s paying for the phone plan, but those settings can be adjusted too.”
“Give this girl zero entertainment, maybe she’ll find some motivation to help out?” ~ dev-246
“I really hate the hormone bulls**t excuse for bad behavior.” ~ Critical_Grab_8275
“Same here. I have been pregnant three times and my hormones were absolutely wild, especially with the last one.”
“I’d cry for no good reason sometimes, absolutely, but it was no excuse to treat people like sh*t OR to be a lazy sack of crap.”
“I was uncomfortable toward the end with the last two, but my house was clean (less so as more babies were in the picture, but still), and I fed all of us.”
“This girl is acting like she should be able to sit on her a** 100% of the time while everyone treats her like a princess.”
“Pregnancy is not a disability.” ~ oo-mox83
“I don’t know the conversation that preceded them moving in, but it sure sounds as if OP has any responsibility for how everything is right now.”
“It’s not making it clear what she expected when she moved in.”
“OP is at a crossroads.”
“Kick out the person that is disrespecting her and expecting her to foot the bill and responsibility, or she can have a serious sit down with the GF and her son about expectations going forward.”
“Both the son and GF are legal adults, but let’s face it, they’re kids.”
“They have no idea how the world works.”
“Given her attitude, it seems clear the GF was never prepared for bullshit in life anywhere near this level.”
“OP is the adult here, and her responsibility to offer proper help here, and she and her husband may have dropped the ball here.”
“For the sake of the future grandkid and her son, not even the GF, I would make a serious attempt at hashing everything expected of both of them to continue to receive the incredible help they are providing.”
“Side note: She also needs to make sure that she is doing everything reasonably possible to make the GF feel welcome.”
“She shouldn’t be holding up in the room avoiding everybody because OP makes her uncomfortable.”
“OP opened up her home to her.”
“She can’t be unconcerned with her comfort there.”
“If all goes well, everybody is much happier, and OP’s grandchild has a chance at a brighter future.”
“If it goes to s**t, OP is 1000% justified in kicking her out and whatever guilt she may feel about leaving a pregnant woman on the street, no matter how awful she may have been to OP.”
“It’s alleviated with the knowledge that she did everything reasonably within her power to help but was straight up refused.” ~ letstrythisagain30
“No one should have to have a conversation with you about cleaning up your own mess. She’s 18, not 5.”
“The girlfriend should be grateful OP opened up their home to her, yet she seems to disrespect OP every chance she gets.”
“Pregnant or not, I’m not walking on eggshells in my own home.”
“The girlfriend can get her s**t together and start being respectful or they can find somewhere else to live.” ~ Bubbles033
“If things were truly that easy, OP wouldn’t be posting here.”
“Human behavior and relationships are complicated, and it’s extremely rare for there to be 100% fault in one party over the other in any but the craziest of scenarios.”
“Even if OP is 99% in the right here, not accepting that 1% can severely hinder a resolution that leaves everybody happy.”
“So OP can focus on how she has been wronged here, and she has, or she can focus on a solution.” ~ letstrythisagain30
“NTA. She needed the wake-up call.”
“You’re all she has.”
“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”
“Called my son, who later on also gave me attitude”
“Son also needs a firm reminder of who is doing whom the favors.” ~ KronkLaSworda
“You can go with her.”
“Neither of you should be disrespected in your own house.”
“I don’t care if she’s pregnant or not.”
“I worked my job until the day I had my kid I went from work to the hospital.”
“At her age, there should be no problem with her helping out and keeping her mouth shut. Same for your son.” ~ doglover507071956
“NTA. Keep your word of kicking her out if she’s disrespectful again.”
“You are paying for her everything!”
“She’s not being mistreated.”
“Pregnancies do not cause un-abling pain, and she could at least do the bed.”
“She’s an ungrateful, entitled brat. No hormones cause this rudeness and lack of consideration.” ~ People_Watcher9306
Well, OP, Reddit is very clearly with you.
You don’t deserve disrespect.
You and your husband are going above and beyond.
This young lady and your son need a strong talking to.
Maybe it’s time to build a bridge with her family.
Good luck.