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Guy Threatens To File Charges Against New ‘Stepmom’ After She Steals Money To Pay For Wedding

A woman peers one eye through a handful of cash

Accepting new members into the family after divorce can be tricky.

It won’t often be smooth.

But when the person coming in has their own animosity, that makes the process even more difficult.

So everyone does their best to adjust.

However, when theft becomes an issue… things take a different turn.

Case in point…

Redditor DraculaUnited wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA because I threatened to send my stepmother to jail?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“As background information: My parents have been divorced for over ten years.”

“And me (M[ale] 21) and my siblings (W[oman] 24 and m19) met my father’s new girlfriend about four years ago.”

“Our not-yet stepmother always had a certain dislike towards us, and we didn’t like her either.”

“She always subtly implied that she doesn’t like us.”

“We have often tried to tell this to our father, but he is the ‘quiet type.'”

“He never gets involved and believes that we should ‘feel educated’ by her.”

“I moved out 1 year ago.”

“Now I have learned that my father and his girlfriend are planning to get married (her idea).”

“Even though our family has never been financially well-off, my ‘stepmother’ wants to have a big celebration.”

“Now here’s the problem: She is demanding financial support from all of us children for the celebration because we are ‘family’ too.”

“My sister (24) is kind-hearted and even offered to help voluntarily, but my brother (19) and I were super annoyed.”

“When I refused to give her a single buck and suggested that she should just make the celebration smaller, she flipped out, and we had a heated argument.”

“After that, we didn’t have any contact for a few days until I suddenly received a notification that a certain amount of money was missing from my bank account.”

“It turned out that my crazy ‘stepmother’ had her hands in our accounts.”

“Since I had a good relationship with my father, he had access to one account, which money she simply took.”

“It wasn’t a significant amount, but when she refused to return the money, I threatened to report her to the police for theft.”

“All the relatives think that I want to ‘prevent the wedding.'”

“And they say, ‘Don’t make such a fuss, family is more important than money, blah blah.'”

“But I’m angry and waiting to see if she returns it or if I actually go through with it.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. Call your bank immediately, and have your father removed from your account and tell them what happened.”

“Whether or not you take legal action, you absolutely need to change ALL of your passwords and account access on literally anything you have- if you ever logged into an account of any kind at your dad’s house, you need to change those passwords.”

“Tell your dad that you are officially removing him from anything he has access to that is yours, as his fiancé has crossed boundaries you’re not willing to compromise on.”

“Don’t cave on this–she is helping herself to YOUR money, and it definitely won’t be the last time.”

“They’re not even married yet, and she’s expecting you to pay her way- the fact that she thinks a 19-year-old and 21-year-old have money to spare is unhinged.”  ~ SpicyTurtle38

“Adding to this, OP, you should check and lock down your credit.”

“If she’s willing to steal from you this way, she may well try to steal from you in other ways as well if she hasn’t already!”

“Your stepmother is nothing more than a THIEF. NTA.” ~ Catatomical

“NTA. u/DraculaUnited, you should also tell your father what his gf did.”

“If she had access to your account, stole money from you, there’s no telling what she’s skimming from your father.”

“Lock down your accounts, change passwords, and contact your bank immediately to remove dad’s access (siblings do same).”

“How long has it been since she stole your money and you told her to return it? 48 hours?”

“No return of money… Go to the police.”  ~ MizPeachyKeen

“Jumping on top/top comment to note that your father is at least as culpable here!”

“He accessed your bank account and took the money out on her behalf, OR let her do it directly — either way, this is a huge breach of the close, and obviously trusted, the relationship you’ve enjoyed.”

“This breach of trust by your father is independent over whether it’s right for you to contribute to this wedding or not.”

“It’s certainly not right for her to have a sense of entitlement about it, and both wrong and illegal to just take money on any terms.”

“Even if it was right, or you’d volunteered to help fund, for example, just taking that money is absolutely over the line.”

“The advice you’re getting on security measures is correct, but also, I would communicate this breach of trust to your dad and pressure him to make this right immediately.”

“He must fix this and never do it again, at risk of rupturing your relationship irreparably, and you should make the stakes of this clear to him.”

“Beyond that, I’d say your father’s fiancé is a total AH, and you’re going to have problems here.”  ~ gc1

“OP needs to be blunt and tell their spineless father that the money gets returned or she’s reported to the police, and he makes sure everyone knows what she’s done.”

“No point in threatening No Contact or anything to the father as he’s so utterly lacking that he’ll just roll over and do whatever his bed partner says.”  ~ Hoplite68

“Give Dad a deadline.”

“Money is returned by Monday morning, or you call the police at 8 a.m.”

“Something like that.”

“The problem with the police angle is you gave your father your password and info.”

“It will be a civil matter.”

“You are going to need some sort of proof that she took the money; voicemails, texts, etc.”

“She is going to say it was your dad who took it otherwise.”

“So how quiet is your dad willing to be if she is going to make him complicit in the theft of your money?”

“Also, for those who say you are trying to prevent the wedding, ask them why you should want a thief in the family.”

“She’s going to keep taking what she can.”

“Maybe ask Dad to keep her away from his main account.”

“Good luck. You and your family are on a collision course for Drama City.” ~ NoFee4250

“Even if she returns it, report it.”

“If they can’t do anything about it, at least you will have documentation if something more drastic happens in the future.” ~ Hornet-Diligent

“NTA. People are seriously telling you that family is more important than money in defense of a woman who stole money from her family.”

“The cognitive dissonance is strong there.” ~ Jasnah_Sedai

“NTA. Report the theft to the police and to the bank.”

“She has absolutely no right to steal money from your bank account.”

“If she gets away with it, she’ll likely clean out the rest of your account.”

“Make sure you transfer your money to a different account, possibly at a different bank.”

“And don’t let anyone else know the account number or password.”

“How on Earth did this overly entitled AH get your bank account number, etc?”

“From your father?”

“If so, he’s even a bigger AH.”

“And if he marries the thief, she may end up taking every penny he has.” ~ Paevatar

“NTA. Call the po-po.”

“Sounds like she is the type to resist and get tased.”

“You can file a public records request later for the body cam footage.”

“Then play it during her stupid little wedding slideshow that she will make sure includes no pics of you.”

“Then post an update on here.” ~ CampfireTalks

“Ummm, what am I missing here?”

“How are you even thinking you are an a**hole at all for this?”

“She’s a criminal.”

“Criminals need to be held accountable, yea you may love your dad, but he really needs to take off those rose-tinted glasses cause this woman is not only stealing from you.”

“But she’s going to actively keep turning your whole family against you. NTA!” ~ 420Flora

“NTA – this is theft plain and simple – she asked for the money, you refused, and she took it anyway in clear violation of your word.”

“I doubt this would end well if you did proceed, and will result in grief all around, but that’s an unfortunate side effect of your father shacking up with a person displaying some very poor ethics.”

“I don’t know this woman, but it seems like even if you sucked it up and let the money go, this wouldn’t be the last time she pulls a stunt like this.” ~ Spineberry

“Hey OP, regardless of whether you follow the advice on this thread and report her, be prepared to stand up for yourself in front of the family.”

“Maybe try and ally yourself with your siblings so you don’t have to stand alone.”

“But tell your family, in no uncertain terms, that this woman who is about to enter your family, decided to steal from one of you.”

“And that they are trying to cover for it, and if that is really the kind of family they want to be, don’t let them shame you into not rocking the boat.”

“Be firm in upholding your boundaries, and call them on their hypocrisy every time they come at you, if you have the strength for it, cuz it’s gonna get through.” ~ lordmonkeyfish

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

Theft is theft.

Nobody gets to siphon your savings for whatever reason.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck.