Vacations are a time when people get a chance to let loose, have fun, and find peace.
However, vacation planning can be stressful.
Especially when one is traveling with a group of loved ones.
Everybody has an opinion or a requirement.
But making that good time happen can take a lot of work.
Case in point…
Redditor ThrowawayJAQ123 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITAH for refusing to share a bed with a male friend for weeks?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (F) am going on vacation with five of my friends.”
“We want to rent a whole house together.”
“Four of them are in a relationship so that they will have two rooms as a couple.”
“So there is me and the male friend left.”
“Of course, it would be way cheaper if we slept in a room together and would not have to rent a 4-bedroom house.”
“I’ve shared a bed with him before during a short vacation and he’s a good friend, but this time I insisted on having my own room.”
“I’m going to spend $1600 on a 2-week long vacation.”
“I’m honestly sick always to have to share a bed with someone I’m not in a relationship with or sleep on the couch during vacation, just because I don’t have a partner.”
“I know he doesn’t have any intentions to make a move on me.”
“I just want to have some space for myself to relax and not have to worry about another person in my room (changing clothes, different sleeping schedules…) during my vacation.”
“I even offered to pay extra for having a room to myself.”
“The problem is, he can’t afford to pay extra.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITAH for still insisting on having my own bedroom?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. There’s nothing wrong with wanting privacy on your vacation.”
“To be honest, I’m not really comfortable sleeping in the same room with someone else, let alone the same bed.”
“Even when it’s a friend.”
“If he can’t afford to pay extra, maybe he’d be ok sleeping on a couch or a mattress in the living room?”
“Or maybe he shouldn’t go on the vacation at all.” ~ _guesswhomd
“I think this would be a really good solution.”
“He pays less and you respectively more, and the whole group doesn’t have to find a new house.”
“ETA: NTA. The singles tax is real.” ~ Ms_Meercat
“OP isn’t responsible for her friend’s finances, and I think OP shouldn’t have to share a space for two weeks if she doesn’t want to.”
“She could offer to loan him the money, or she could pay for him if she wanted to, but she is in no way obliged.”
“OP should have made it clear before they booked, though, so they could have a look for somewhere that was within everybody’s budget and comfort.” ~ EmployerNeither8080
“Everyone should pay the same amount, and everyone should get a room of their own, the couples and the two single people.”
“It’s only fair.”
“It’s two weeks, and they’re all friends going on a vacation.”
“Everyone should be accommodated fairly, especially if they are all good friends.”
“The couples shouldn’t expect those two to share a room just to save a buck.” ~ No_Banana_581
“Yeah, I don’t see why the couples wouldn’t be okay paying $100 extra for their friends to be in suitable accommodation.”
“I get cheaping out sometimes, but if my friends refused to pay a cent extra for a bigger place because they still occupy just one room, I’d be reconsidering the friendship.”
“It’s an extra $7 a night each if they all split it equally.”
“I’ve chosen hotels that are $30 more a night just because the bedspread looked dated.” ~ Helpful_Kangaroo_o
“Same. My husband’s friend group likes to rent houses from time to time because everyone is spread out across the USA.”
“We split the cost per bedroom equally, not per person.”
“One time, we ended up taking a house that had a pull-out couch in the den, and one single guy in the group took that area.”
“We didn’t include him in the split; he bought groceries for the house instead, and everyone was happy.” ~ MangoandCoconuts
“Agree with the NTA, but this solution actually makes no sense.”
“They have six people.”
“If they pay for a 4-room, then someone has to pay for the extra room.”
“If the guy sleeps in the living room, then why are they paying for an extra room?”
“If they stay in the three bedroom.”
“Then everyone pays the same.”
“In which case, OP and the guy have equal rights to sleep in a bedroom since they are paying the same. Tricky situation.” ~ skyarix
OP came back to chat…
“Since there are still questions left, going to try to explain it better.”
“Renting a 3 bedroom house = 2 people/room.”
“So we’d divide the costs equally.”
“Me having a single room means my friend will have a single room too.”
“So let’s say the costs increase by $600.”
“For me, it would be fair to divide the costs between us two, so each of us has to pay $300 more..”
“The problem is he can’t afford the +$300.”
“So I’d have to cover the difference alone while we both have an upgrade, and I’m wondering if that’s fair.”
“It just feels like I have to pay more to have the same comfortable holiday as the couples, just because I’m not in a relationship.”
Reddit continued…
“NTA- hello, perpetual fifth wheel here (male).”
“When my couple of friends and I plan a trip, we start with two basic premises, all base costs are split per person, and we ensure we have a sleeping space for each person.”
“I’m not sure where you’re traveling to, but if you’re planning far out enough, there has to be at least one house with four distinct sleeping spaces you guys could make work.”
“If you or the others are able/willing to kick in a bit more because you want a specific feature or amenity, that’s fine, but base price should be equal.” ~ Istolethisname222
“I don’t think that would be fair either. She states that she pays a lot of money, so she wants a comfortable sleeping situation. Understandable.”
“But so is he; he is also paying a lot of money for the vacation and therefore deserves a comfy sleeping solution- it would be fair if he paid less for having no room for himself, just his part of the cost for the mutual living space.” ~ Wise-Cockroach-7627
“Get all the couples to split up and sleep with the wrong person, and you’ll soon see why you’re… NTA.” ~ Bluebehir
“Okay, your plan makes the point much better, but I was thinking of a different twist – OP and single guy rotate through the single room and the other couples’ rooms/beds.”
“Then, of course, they’ll all have to agree that what happens in the house, stays in the house.
“OP, you are NTA.” ~ bobhand17123
“NTA as long as you offered to pay extra per room.”
“And if the couple’s friends are not happy about that solution, then maybe take the total and divide it per person instead of per room.”
“So everyone pays an equal amount.”
“We have done that before in friends groups so as not to put single friends at a disadvantage.” ~ lakeviewdude74
“NTA. Anyone who insists you share with him isn’t your friend.”
“Either get a room for yourself or don’t go.”
“You shouldn’t be pressured to have a person in your personal space.” ~ murphy2345678
“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to do that either, and I would never expect my friends to.”
“It’s strange that that’s the default option and it’s somehow OP’s responsibility to fix it if she doesn’t accept an uncomfortable vacation.”
“By paying more for her room AND subsidizing his, or probably getting blamed if he can’t go.”
“The single people getting single rooms should have been the default, in my opinion.”
“Then if someone can’t afford it, they should search for cheaper accommodations, or the whole group can split the bill equally.”
“Or everyone chips in to cover for that person.”
“Or they can sleep on a couch.”
“Or, in the worst case, that person has to sit that one out.”
“OP can pay for her own room. She shouldn’t have to share just because someone else can’t. NTA.” ~ LindenStream
“NTA. It’s bizarre that someone would even expect you to sleep in the same bed with a male friend who isn’t your boyfriend.” ~ forgeris
“NTA… him being broke is 0% your problem; it’s your vacation, and you deserve comfort.” ~ the_great_alexander
“NTA. He can bring an air mattress and sleep on the living room floor.”
“You are paying for your vacation and the sleeping accommodations you want.”
“You shouldn’t be forced to share a bed with anyone.” ~ Foreign_Company6090
“NTA. Honestly, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then definitely get your own room.”
“You shouldn’t feel you have to share a very personal space just because someone can’t afford it.”
“Never compromise on your own well-being and security.” ~ Nessie51
OP came back with an update:
“Surprisingly, we found someone who will go on this trip as well and will share a room with him, so I have a spare room for myself.”
“So we need to have 4 rooms anyway.”
“I offered to pay a bit more as I am the only person sleeping alone, and I guess that’s a fair solution for everyone.”
“Thanks everyone for your answers. 🙂 “
“I will keep them in mind if the problem arises again in the future.”
Well, OP, Reddit was with you. Everybody deserves to be comfortable on a vacation.
Otherwise, there is no point going.
Glad to hear that it all worked out for everyone.
Have fun.