When it comes to different diets, some people are incredibly opinionated towards those who choose a different than theirs, like vegan or keto.
But someone’s food interests shouldn’t get in the way of a fun time, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
After looking at the menu for a new vegan buffet-style restaurant, Redditor Regalefeutute was resistant to trying the food because of the meat substitutions.
But when her friend wanted to go there for her birthday dinner, the Original Poster (OP) didn’t hide her dissatisfaction with the plan.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my friend I don’t like the restaurant she wants to celebrate her birthday at?”
The OP’s friend, Lisa, really wanted to try out a vegan buffet-style restaurant.
“For the past few weeks, a friend (28 Female, Lisa) of mine (25 Female) really tried to get somebody from my friend group to go to a restaurant in the city we live in with her.”
“It’s a vegan place that is basically like those cheap ‘Chinese’ restaurants that has a very long menu, which is categorized by the type of ‘meat’ in the dish. All of the ‘meats’ are, of course, fake, though.”
“My issue isn’t that it’s a vegan place, I’m vegetarian myself. I just find the heavy emphasis on replacement products a bit odd.”
“So when Lisa asked me if I wanted to go to the restaurant, I checked out the menu, and then I told her that I wasn’t a fan of a concept, but I’d love to go to another place if she’d like.”
“Apparently, she asked the other people in my friend group, as well, and got similar responses.”
While planning Lisa’s birthday celebration, the friends were in for a surprise.
“Later, we (Lisa, three more friends, and I) discussed what she was planning to do for her birthday.”
“Lisa said she wanted to go to a restaurant and out for drinks afterward.”
“When asked which restaurant specifically, she revealed she wanted to go to the vegan place she had talked about previously.”
This led to an argument.
“When she said that, I guess all of us must have looked a bit startled, so she asked if anything was wrong.”
“I tried to brush it off at first, but she asked again, so I told her that I was a bit surprised that she chose a restaurant that she knew all of us weren’t really a fan of.”
“Our other friends agreed with me.”
“And to clarify what I mean, the restaurant itself isn’t even that big of a deal. Most of us were more startled by the fact that she had asked all of us about the place pretty close to the conversation about her birthday and then knowingly chose the restaurant anyways despite our reservations.”
“She replied that it was her birthday so she could choose whatever she wanted and that basically concluded our conversation about the topic.”
“She was very silent the rest of the day and has been kind of cold ever since.”
The OP thought she had done the right thing by being honest.
“In my mind, it’s a valid point to bring up. At least I personally wouldn’t choose a restaurant that I know my friends aren’t going to like.”
“And it’s also not like we’re refusing to go there. If she decides to go through with it, we’ll come and not complain.”
“But it is, of course, true that it’s her birthday and therefore her choice of the restaurant, so maybe I should have continued denying that something is wrong.”
“So AITA for telling her truthfully?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP was wrong for not keeping this to herself for one birthday dinner.
“It’s one meal and the birthday person chooses.”
“I’m veggie and my bestie had her birthday at a steak and sushi place. When the waiter asked what I wanted, I ordered a bottle of wine, and when he asked if I wanted anything else, I said, ‘A glass.’ I ate fries on the way home and the birthday girl had a fab night.”
“It’s not complicated.” – CrystalQueen3000
“I eat meat, but one of my friends wanted to go to a vegan place. It wasn’t even a special day. I just went because I actually like my friends (and had some d**n good vegan nachos).” – GoldenFrog14
“I just dealt with this a week ago. In my close friend group, 2 people are vegan and the rest of us aren’t.”
“1 of them had a bday last week at a vegan place. I was fully prepared to have wine for dinner. As it turned out, they had these vegan salads on the menu and I tried one, and it was really good.”
“And they had 2 for 1 drinks. We all had a great time. I mean, how hard is it to just take one for the team?” – Blackgurlmajik
“I am not Vegan but I do have food allergies (I am HIGHLY allergic to onions or onion-based products), so going out with me is a little complicated.”
“My friend group tries to find restaurants that may be more allergy-friendly for me, but I always tell them not to. Most restaurants actually are very accommodating to me and actually help me find things I may be able to eat.”
“If I don’t find something, I just usually get a drink and just sit and talk with them. It is about the company and not the food.” – Aannwrootbeer
“I don’t have vegan friends, but we have ended up at a vegan restaurant a time or two because some people like some of the dishes. We’ve also ended up at restaurants that I just don’t like anything at.”
“Sometimes, I don’t eat and get something through a drive-thru or a snack at a gas station on the way home, but if something intrigues me by either sound, smell, or looks of it, I will definitely try it. I’ve found a few things I like just by seeing it and being like, ‘Oh my lords, that looks good, I want that.'”
“Although, I think I’ve only found them because I expected them to be good and after restricting my eating habits for so long, I think my belly just intakes whatever it can, lol (laughing out loud).”
“Either way, if it’s for an occasion, I try my best not to make anyone uncomfortable when inviting me somewhere I won’t eat, even if I order something small and take a few bites out of it. A picky friend and I have shared meals before because we didn’t know if we’d like something and decided to just split a plate. There are ways around it, even if you’re just getting a side item.”
“The only time I would discourage someone from pushing through and taking one for the team is if they’re vegan and know that there could be some contamination with meat because even that small bit could make them sick. I would feel awful if someone got sick because they thought, ‘oh, I’ll just get something small to look like I ate.'” – Due-Elderberry7441
Others pointed out that it isn’t hard to find something delicious to eat from a vegan menu.
“I always laugh when meat eaters (I am one) hate on vegan places. I must admit, I was once an edgelord who would do so, but d**n, there are some gooda** vegan spots out there (especially here in Portland). One of my all-time fav restaurants is one.” – GottaFindThatReptar
“I’m vegan and it kills me when people (read: my uncle and dad) like to just rag on me for how bad the food I eat must taste. Just leave me alone! It’s healthy to branch out and to accept that different things can taste good!” – Fearless-Teach8470
“I am a meat eater, but I can happily eat a veggie stirfry any day. Anyone that never eats ANYTHING without meat is likely made of 30% cholesterol and poops twice a year.”
“Fruits, veggies, grains, nuts, seeds, beans… all good things for humans (with the obvious exception of food sensitivities/allergies, of course.)” – jadethebard
“Seriously, there really are some GOOD vegan restaurants. I’m a vegetarian but went to Montreal with my friends (they’re all meat eaters) and LOV cafe is probably the best restaurant I’ve ever been to. The cheesecake is fantastic, the mushroom risotto is fantastic, blew my mind, man.” – dumbtranstrash
“I don’t even get the hate for the replacement meats. I f**king love the impossible chicken nuggets, to the point I’ll get them over normal ones if they’re in stock (they go fast).”
“You’d think entirely plant-based products that get normal meat eaters to change would be a good thing to them, even if it’s marketed as replacement meat instead of soy nuggets or whatever.” – Argent_Hythe
“Honestly, as an omnivore, I don’t think asking a meat eater to eat at a vegan restaurant is the same as asking a vegan to eat at a steakhouse.”
“I can easily find something to eat at a vegan restaurant. In my city, all the vegan places that have any success are fantastic. They can’t survive on the vegan population alone, so they are good enough for me to want to go there even if there are no vegans around to accommodate.” – NarlaRT
While the subReddit could understand the initial apprehension of trying the vegan buffet out for the first time, they also pointed out that it would make her friend happy on her birthday, which was only for one night, not for the rest of her existence.