Diehard fans of the international music superstar Taylor Swift are flocking to see their idol perform at one of her concerts during the historical Eras Tour.
Due to extremely popular demand around the world, tickets to one of her shows are hard to come by, and Swifties are doing whatever it takes to see the once-in-a-lifetime show.
But at what cost are fans prioritizing getting tickets?
That is something one fan is wondering after scoring a ticket had an unexpected ripple effect.
Old_Explanation6923 asked:
“AITA for choosing a concert over my best friend’s wedding?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My (26 f[female]) best friend (26 f[female]) Jessy is getting married on July 13th in Albania. We both live in Albania.”
“The issue is that on July 13th my fiancé and I have booked tickets for the Eras tour in Milan almost 1 year in advance or else they’d sell out. We also had to book hotels, flights etc because we’ll stay there for 4 days.”
“Jessy knew that I’ve booked tickets on that date. She hadn’t booked her wedding yet. She got engaged in November and booked her wedding date last month.”
“She had told everyone she’d get married during summer but she never said the exact date up to this point when many people kept asking her so they can know their plans. I booked the tickets this past summer when the tour dates were announced.”
The OP continued:
“When she told me the date I told her she can’t be serious. She was like why? I reminded her I have the concert and the trip on those dates. And she told me ok? Then cancel it obviously?”
“I told her sorry I can’t. I can’t cancel the hotel, plane tickets and concert tickets. I’ll have to pay a high fee to cancel all that and I don’t think I can even cancel the concert tickets.”
“I reminded her it’s something I’ve planned a year in advance and she knew. And she straight up told me that yes she knew but she didn’t care because as a friend she’d expect me to do the right thing and drop everything for her wedding.”
The OP made her decision.
“I told her I’m not cancelling my plans for something you knew a year in advance I’d do.”
“She accused me of being ta [the a**hole] basically for putting a trip and a concert over her wedding. She won’t speak to me now unless I send her proof that I’m cancelling everything to attend her wedding.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. Obviously. Not sure what to add… Is anyone other than her disagreeing with you?” –
RecedingQuasar
“Her parents and future husband are disagreeing but also my parents have tried to start arguments with me over my choice.” – OP
“She made a choice, not you. She admits that she knew you were busy but didn’t care. You have no obligation to care for her plans. Respect goes both ways.” – RecedingQuasar
“Yeah, it feels like a power play—I’m going to specifically make my wedding day on the day that my friend says she has plans to force her to prove her loyalty to me.”
“Ugh. NTA to avoid this level of selfishness on your friend’s part.” – jediping
“Maybe it’s different in Albania, but here in the US, respect is a two way street. Your friend knew you had plans you had paid money for. She still scheduled the wedding. She should’ve been understanding. Both her and your parents can take a very long walk off a very short pier.” – SpringOK5943
“Unless she has already paid in full for her wedding, it should be fairly easy for her to change dates. You however cannot change the date of something that was planned by someone else (the performers you are going to see) which you have already spent a significant amount for.” – MamaMia6558
“I wouldn’t cancel the concert even if I could be fully reimbursed. This concert is a huge deal. One the bride knew about and chose to ignore.”
“NTA. Go to the concert and have a good time. Tell your ‘friend’ you’re sorry, but you have unbreakable plans for that time period. No excuses, just ‘no thank you.’” – momster
“Op this is on her and not you. However calculate all that you spent on the tickets, the hotel and the plane tickets, and how much cancellation fees will cost and send her the bill and tell her if she really wants you to go to her wedding then she will need to pay back that amount plus since you will be without money that she will also be responsible for all the wedding accommodations and all expenses due to the wedding for you.”
“If anyone else bothers you about this then send them the same bills and let them know you take Apple Pay, Venmo, Cash and credit. I can guarantee you that most will see the amount and either shut up and leave you alone or still call you an AH but will be thinking king and hard later on.”
“Also if she really was your friend she would’ve been more thoughtful of you but she wasn’t and she sound incredibly selfish.” –
Evening_Relief9922
“Sounds like she f**ked around and found out. Almost like she was testing you to see if you would give up something you had been waiting for and planning for a year for *her* special day. A real friend wouldn’t ask you to cancel the trip.”
“Obviously booking a venue can be tough, and if that was the only date the preferred venue was available it sucks, but you were already committed on that date and she knew it, and should have accepted that if she chose that date that you might not be able to attend.”
“I would put passwords on your reservations if she knows where you are staying though because she might try to cancel it so you have no choice but to go to her wedding.” – dragon34
“Did she do this on purpose to “test your friendship”? NTA btw. I’d miss my friend’s wedding for the eras tour without hesitation and I’d be ok if they did the same 😂” – pintoftomatoes
“I’m going to assume that you’ve already invested the equivalent of a couple thousand US dollars into this concert trip. There’s no way you’d get all that money back even if you did cancel everything.”
“I’m sure your friend is also expecting you to spend generously for her wedding gift and any associated parties. Normally, if this were a repeatable experience and it’s local I’d say you were TA but these are unique circumstances and you’ve already booked and paid for a significant portion of your trip, a year in advance no less. NTA” – shrew0809
“NTA. the truth is rather ironic – by saying ‘she didn’t care because as a friend she’d expect me to do the right thing and drop everything for her wedding’ she’s saying she doesn’t care about what you want, your plans, or your finances, and not only wouldn’t drop plans for something important to you, she wouldn’t even consider them. Basically, she doesn’t care about you.”
“Did she do it on purpose as a power move? Has she shown this sort of controlling or ‘prove your friendship to me’ behaviour before?”
“I’m so sorry – that’s extremely poor form on her part. Go to your concert and have a blast. There may well be other people she hasn’t considered, and you won’t be the only one she gets upset at if this is the type of attitude she has for her bf. Even if you did go, you’d resent it, she’d sense that, and it could spoil the day anyway and / or be held over you.”
“It’s not just about you either – she’s trying to ruin this for your fiance. Remember he’s affected by this too, so you’re not having to handle this based solely on your own commitments and feelings.”
“Weddings aren’t a golden ticket for servitude and glorification from everyone around you. She’s the AH.” – Rebel_in_a_teacup
“NTA.”
“Under normal circumstances, I’d say you should prioritize your best friend’s wedding over a concert. However, you made these plans over a year in advance, and she knew about them.”
“Perhaps she wasn’t feeling the ‘best friend’ vibe because you are seeing Taylor Swift without her? Is she jealous of you? Could she not get tickets or not afford them?? In any case she is the AH for not only scheduling her wedding at the same time, but also trying to force you to cancel your trip.”
“The solution is simple. Send your regrets, go to the concert, and get on with your life. She’s not worth it.” – 1962Michael
When several other Redditors asked if the bride-to-be was jealous, the OP replied:
“No. She doesn’t like Taylor Swift, and when I booked the tickets, she seemed happy for me. So all that was really out of nowhere because I didn’t have any indicators that she’d do this on purpose.”
Redditors continued encouraging the OP to go ahead and enjoy the concert as they believed the bride’s response was unfairly harsh.