No matter your relationship with them, whenever your in-laws pay an extended visit, several challenges arise.
Primarily, they enjoy doing things a certain way when they’re at home, and often don’t adjust well to the fact that their children and children-in-law do things differently.
Nor are they always in agreement with the house rules of the home where they’re staying, turning things from getting a little tense, to possibly getting downright unpleasant.
Redditor WarmPea2596 wasn’t particularly excited about hosting their soon-to-be in-laws for Thanksgiving.
But when they blatantly ignored the original poster (OP)’s requests regarding the dog, the OP’s in-laws swiftly went from being grudgingly accepted to personae non grata.
Resulting in the OP also finding themself on less than stable terms with their fiancé.
Wondering if they overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for kicking out my future in-laws after they lost and almost killed my dog?”
The OP explained why they felt no regret in kicking their future in-laws out of their home.
“I’m engaged to my fiancé Meg.”
“I own a large home.”
“Meg spends most time at my place but technically still has her own, we are in the process of moving her in with me this fall.”
“Since my place has a lot of room and Meg’s doesn’t, I agreed to host her family from out of town for Thanksgiving.”
“I’m going to be blunt: I do not like Meg’s family.”
“They are all extremely conservative, conspiracy theorist, low-key racist, ‘a woman’s place is in the kitchen’ types.”
“Meg is very different from them but is close with them.”
“She hasn’t seen them in a year so I agreed that they could stay at my place for the holiday, because I can usually tolerate them enough.”
“Wednesday morning, Meg’s parents arrive, and things are fine.”
“A few hours later, Meg’s sister gets here.”
“I have a dog named Lucy.”
“This is my dog, not Meg’s dog and not our dog.”
“I had her for years before Meg was around and Meg is not a big fan of dogs, although she likes Lucy.”
“I was in the bathroom when the sister pulled into the driveway.”
“Meg’s mom calls to me and says ‘I’m going to let Lucy out front to say hi to Meg’s sister’ to which I explicitly said ‘no, don’t do that’.”
“She needs to be on a leash and I should handle her.”
“Give me a minute and I can come help but leave her inside’.”
“I know she heard me because she said ok.”
“2 minutes later, Meg comes screaming saying that her mom let Lucy outside and she ran away down the street.”
“I ran out of the house and got in my car to drive after her, but I could never find her.”
“I drove all around my neighborhood and adjacent neighborhoods trying to find her all day but I just couldn’t.”
“She had my number on her collar but I was terrified she was gone or got hit by a car or something.”
“Meg drove around in her car some throughout the day too but her parents and sister did nothing, they just spent the day alone at my house.”
“I went home and slept and then resumed the search in the morning on Thursday, Thanksgiving day.”
“I continued searching and got a call in the afternoon that someone found Lucy.”
“I went and got her and she was a mess; she had several bite marks and was bleeding in several places.”
“I think she got in a fight with a wild animal. I took her to the ER immediately and they patched her up and she will pull through luckily, but that process took a long time so I didn’t get home until Thursday night.”
“Today I was exhausted and basically locked myself in my room with Lucy to watch her.”
“Meg’s dad knocked on my door and told me to be a man, and that the dog was back and it was just a stupid dog so who cares.”
“I told them all to leave right now.”
“Meg was upset and said they didn’t have anywhere, and I said I don’t care but they can’t be at my home.”
“They eventually left after I threatened calling the cops.”
“Meg left with them and texted that it was rude for offering my home and then kicking them out, and they made an honest mistake.”
“I felt that her mom did not listen to what I told her, and Lucy needs quiet alone time to recover, and I never even got an apology.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for kicking their future in-laws out of their house.
Everyone agreed that the blatant disregard, not to mention complete and utter lack of sympathy for what happened to Lucy on the part of the OP’s in-laws more than merited their being kicked out, with a few even urging the OP to question if marrying Meg was a good idea.
“This could have been so much worse.”
“Did the mom say anything to you after this?”
“Did anyone apologize?”- VeronicaSawyer8
“Kicking them out was reasonable.”
“Send them the bill for the vet.”
“If they’d apologized or expressed remorse, I would vote otherwise, but they clearly didn’t care that they caused you such distress, let alone leading to the injury of an animal.”
“They’re sociopaths.”- AceyAceyAcey
“This was not an honest mistake.”
“Honest mistake is they opened the door, slipped and fell while leaving it open for long enough that the dog ran out.”
“They intentionally opened the door and let the dog out after you already told them not to.”
“The fact that they had no remorse after the entire thing happened is insane.”
“To be honest, you should send them the vet bill and then rethink Meg as well.”
“If you marry someone, their family become your family as well.”
“Are you sure you want such toxic people in your life?”
“Cause I sure as heck would not.”- MortalSmile8631
“So you basically missed the holiday they were there to celebrate because you had to care for the dog they let get injured.”
“They did not help look for the dog.”
“They did not apologize for letting the dog out.”
“Her father added to the fire by being an a**hole with that being a man line.”
“I would have kicked them out as soon as it took more than an hour to find the dog.”
“AND THEY COMPLAINED YOU DIDN’T MAKE THANKSGIVING DINNER WHILE LOOKING FOR THE DOG THEY LET OUT!”
“Get rid of the whole woman and her terrible family.”- lostalldoubt86
“I would leave the relationship asap.”
“Your partner and her parents don’t feel remorseful for the accident/ incident.”
“I believe they purposely did it seeing as their reaction wasn’t the normal kind, maybe they didn’t like that you had an attachment to a pet that would take attention away from your fiancé.”
“I couldn’t imagine their reaction if you had a child and they got hurt (touch wood).”
“They don’t seem to have empathy at all.”- Methyd98
“NTA but rethink Meg.”
“Her defense of her family is indefensible.”
“That makes her just as bad IMO.”- The_Bad_Agent
“NTA at all!”
“No one should be allowed to stay where they can’t respect rules, particularly rules about how pets!”
“No, it was NOT rude to kick them out, and it was NOT an ‘honest mistake’.”
“An Honest mistake is doing something wrong but well-meaning bc you have no info.”
“Meg’s mom had the info-you literally told her not to and she did it anyway.”
“They should pay your vet bills, too, as she wouldn’t have been hurt if she had simply done as you said and waited 2 damn minutes.”- Little_Soft_3237
“You mention Meg doesn’t like dogs, is that true for her family too?”
“Because it sounds like it.”
“The fact that they did NOTHING and eventually Meg went back to stay with them in YOUR house is a HUGE red flag.”
“Any normal person, even if they are not a ‘pet’ person, would feel horrible and be out looking with you and/or calling shelters, animal control etc.”
“That you said no and the dog ‘got out’ anyway is suspicious to me.”
“You need to reevaluate your future because it will be run by your in-laws.”
“And for God’s Sake do not have children with this woman.”
“There is no way to keep her parents away from any children you have and I’d be terrified for their safety.”
“If they cannot follow your instruction with a poor animal resulting in a dangerous situation, there is no way they should be around a child.”- calicounderthesun
When you are guests in someone’s home, it seems like “their house, their rules” should be a given.
Apparently not to the OP’s future in-laws.
That is, of course, assuming the wedding is still on after this whole unfortunate experience.